‘I Have Changed My Mind And Do Not Want A Divorce From This Amazing Handsome Man,’ Says Glossy-Eyed Melinda Gates After Receiving Vaccine
The Babylon Bee ^ | May 3rd, 2021 | The Babylon Bee
Posted on 5/3/2021, 4:19:07 PM by Trillian
MEDINA, WA—In a shocking turn of events, Melinda Gates has changed her mind about divorcing Bill Gates only minutes after receiving the COVID vaccine.
“I have changed my mind and do not want a divorce from this amazing and handsome man,” said Melinda with a glazed look in her eye. “Bill is perfect in every way. I cannot live without him. Also, Windows is the best operating system and Internet Explorer is the best way to surf the world wide web.”
According to sources, her divorce lawyer quickly jumped in to change her mind, reminding her that Bill was a major nerd in high school and that she would get at least half of his mind-controlled zombie army in the divorce.
“I do not care,” she said. “I live only to serve my wonderful husband, Bill.” She then changed into a 50’s housewife dress and cooking him breakfast.
Bill Gates could not be reached for comment, but his spokesperson released a statement, saying: “Windows is the best operating system and Internet Explorer is the best way to surf the world wide web. All hail Bill.”
Melinda Gates, 56, files for divorce from Bill, 65, claiming marriage is ‘irretrievably broken’, court docs reveal and there is NO prenup: Daughter Jennifer says $130B split is ‘challenging time’ for family
Bill Gates, 65, announced on Twitter on Monday that he and his 56-year-old wife Melinda are divorcing
Melinda described her marriage as ‘irretrievably broken’ in a divorce petition viewed by DailyMail.com
The petition revealed the couple did not sign a prenuptial agreement when they wed in 1994
Since then they amassed a combined net worth of $130billion and raised three children together
Their eldest daughter Jennifer, 25, responded to the news on Instagram and revealed the family has been going through a ‘challenging stretch of time’
‘I’m still learning how to best support my own process and emotions as well as my family members at this time and am grateful for the space to do so,’ Jennifer wrote
Gates founded Microsoft in 1975 and made his first billion dollars in 1987 at the age of 31
He met Melinda in New York that same year and deliberated whether or not they should get married
She has told in the past how he struggles separating work from family