[dragnet2]

I just keep a bucket of hockey pucks near my bed to throw at the bad guys. The leftist said that was adequate protection. And I took down my back walls and front fence because the leftist said they did not help protect me or my home.

[familyop]

"I just keep a bucket of hockey pucks near my bed to throw at the bad guys."

You need to upgrade to a trap thrower loaded with a stack of clay pigeons. It's *the* happy, fun assault weapon for bedroom self-defense!

[familyop]

Heh. One spouse yells, “Pull!”

The other launches a pigeon, hitting the home invader in the teeth.

The first spouse fires to hit the pigeon, just as it hits the invader in the teeth.

Result: very sorry home invader. ;-)