It's not really my part of the Country. I don't live in the South, though I have driven through some Southern states a few times in my life, but yes, I understand what you mean. It really isn't helpful to demean the people of the South or their ancestors. People are always wanting to judge others in the past by modern standards, but as they say, the past is a different country, and you can't be objective about it unless you can grasp the zeitgeist of the era.
I love the south. Always have since the first time I was taken to a battlefield and exposed to the writings of Margaret Mitchell. I’m also a huge fan of Lincoln and Grant. Go figure!
Lincoln was a very amazing fellow. Extremely intelligent, and astonishingly talented. His writings are elegant and often profound, and I have opined before that were I in his shoes, and understood what I think he knew, I would likely have done the same thing. Then again, i'm not sure if I could have been that bold.
Lincoln was facing a major economic crises, and if he had capitulated, he likely would have been regarded by posterity with ignominy.
Of course if he had just let Seward win, there probably would never have been a crises.
Well... Deep South Fire Eaters had threatened to secede in 1856 if any Republican were elected President, so the secession crisis had nothing to do with Lincoln personally, only the fact of being Republican.
Immediately after inauguration in early March 1861 both Lincoln and Secretary of State Seward expected to abandon Fort Sumter, even though President Buchanan had pledged to defend it against attack and never surrender for any reason.
In time both Lincoln and Seward came to see the necessity of defending Fort Sumter and an opportunity to do so in the Doubleday/Fox plan to resupply in small boats at night.
Seward's comment on Lincoln at the time was: "he is the best among us."
So it's not at all clear if or how things might have gone differently had Seward been President.