Posted on 12/22/2017 7:51:00 AM PST by x1stcav
In a few days, the pain will stop. The pain, that is, of awful and most heinous Christmas songs. I already know that I am going to Hell. Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright said that I was going to Hell because I didnt support Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. My friends and I are renting a party bus.
We wont be listening to Christmas Songs on the bus. They are headache inducing. Self-explanatory
I hereby propose that the following Christmas songs have achieved a level of heinousness that would cause my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to shove a dreidel directly in his brain. Jesus probably doesnt mind the Dreidel Song, he is gonna get Adam Sandler for the Hanukkah Song, for sure. Sorry, I got off track there. Jesus celebrated Hanukkah and, my mind wandered away.
(Excerpt) Read more at victorygirlsblog.com ...
Heinous is embodied in a rousing chorus of kids doing All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth will a lisping kid singing the lead.
Elvis Presley Sings: "Blue Christmas".
Porky Pig sings "Blue Christmas"! (I fully admit...it is the people in the background that sound like they are wetting their pants laughing hysterically that I just love...:)
As someone said in a freepmail to me,
“FR is like Twitter - there are rules, but the rules are more like suggestions, and the policing is really done via gang warfare.”
Besides, people around here are thin-skinned and easily provoked.
White Sharpie - as I understand it - is lip liner.
/snark off.
"Deck the Halls" falls into that category. It's all about the pagan signs of the season, like Holly branches, yule logs, etc.
They could always play these songs after 2 a.m. at any Waffle House.
DANG!
#4 YES!!!! So glad to see it made the list!
1. Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
Verdict: total agreement
2. Someday at Christmas by Stevie Wonder Political Christmas songs hurt the Baby Jesuss heart.
Verdict: total agreement
3. Do They Know Christmas by Band Aid This song is heinous on multiple levels. Do-gooder celebs milking emotions write a song about Africa and know nothing about Africa.
Verdict: yep
4. All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey Actually, I hate everything by Mariah Scary.
Verdict: not a fan of Ms. Carey, but I find some covers of this one appealing.
5. The Christmas Song made popular by Nat King Cole You know, Chestnuts roasting on a open fire. Yes, I hate that one. This song could cause you to go into a sugar coma. If this song comes on, get the insulin pump ready.
Verdict: I like this one :)
6. Mary, Did You Know? written by Mark Lowry and sung by anyone. Mary knew. Its in the Bible. When people in the Bible werent begetting, they were prophesying. Mary knew, Joseph knew, cousin Elizabeth knew. They all knew. There is an even more special place in Hell for Pentatonix and their version. If God doesnt hate me too much, he wont put Pentatonix near me in our special places in Hell.
Verdict: I agree that the premise of this song is flawed, but I do like Pentatonix.
7. Happy Xmas/War is Over by John Lennon as stated above political Christmas songs hurt the Baby Jesuss heart. This one gave him colic too.
Verdict: agreed!
8. Santa Clause Is Coming to Town by Bruce Springsteen I am not a Springsteen fan.
Verdict: Not a Springsteen fan either - pass.
9. Away in a Manger by anyone
Verdict: I like this classic.
and finally, the one I hate the most:
10. The Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth by Bing Crosby and David Bowie You have no idea how much I hate hating this heinous song. Could there be two better voices blending together than Bing Crosby and David Bowie? The answer is No. I dont care for The Little Drummer Boy all by its lonesome. When the song is combined with Peace on Earth, it could induce serious mental conditions. Baby Jesuss heart is hurt and he hates fascists. Look at the words:
Every child must be made aware
Every child must be made to care
Care enough for his fellow man
To give all the love that he can
I love this song, and this version EXCEPT the bridge totally ruins it for me, as you mention. My favorite version is the Harry Simeone Chorale. Check it out!
DMX??? That oughta be good. Can they play that one uncensored before 10 pm.
No such thing as a heinous Christmas song.
That stupid GD “Hippopotamus” song. Uff-Da.
She doesn’t strike me as the kind of woman that’s gonna put up with your lecherous ways.
My favorite version of Santa Baby is by Eartha Kitt. Least favorite (by a long shot) is Madonna. She’s singing these sultry lyrics sounding like a bratty child. Yuck!
She’s the one that scouts new women for me.
Worst Christmas song EVER is John Lennon’s “So This is Christmas”
What a load of liberal BS.
“...what have YOU done”
“...lets stop all the fights”
...and remember, through out the song you hear “War is over, if you want it” in the background.
So this is Christmas and what have you done
Another year over, a new one just begun
And so this is Christmas, I hope you have fun
The near and the dear ones, the old and the young
A very merry Christmas and a happy new year
Let’s hope it’s a good one without any fears
And so this is Christmas for weak and for strong
The rich and the poor ones, the road is so long
And so happy Christmas for black and for white
For yellow and red ones let’s stop all the fights
A very merry Christmas and a happy new year
Let’s hope it’s a good one without any fear
And so this is Christmas and what have we done
Another year over, a new one just begun
And so happy Christmas we hope you have fun
The near and the dear ones, the old and the young
A very merry Christmas and a happy new year
Let’s hope it’s a good one without any fear
And so this is Christmas and what have we done
Another year over, a new one just begun
My least favorite:
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special
Every single store plays it over and over!
I do not like all the new songs that are over done either with synthesizers or wailing or horrible scratchy singing like Taylor Swift. There is as an example Carol of the Bells that sounds like angry synthesizer bells.
I like the older instrumental and singing from the 1960’s and older.
Yup, it’s awful.
Gayest song, ever.
Thanks. Unfortunately the Brits don’t realize the extent of their doom.
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