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First commercial, if I had done that with my granny at the mall, she’d have been pissed and hit me. She almost never cracked a smile, anyhow.

Second commercial, I’d have slammed my fist on the fancy car repeatedly and shouted, “I’m walkin’ here ! I’m walkin’ here !” and jumped across the hood of the car. I reenacted that scene in “Midnight Cowboy” when I almost got struck by a car in Copley Square in Boston.

Third commercial. Dick waiter ignoring me. I was in Key West with my father and utterly parched (which was not a good thing) when we sat down at a restaurant. Waiter did nothing for a half hour and then I loudly screamed in front of the other patrons, “I’m f***ing THIRSTY ! Where’s my f***ing WATER ?” He was not happy, I could not care less. Ordinarily I know the rule not to crap on waitstaff because they could retaliate with your food, but I couldn’t believe how atrocious the service was and I was worried if I didn’t get some cool water, I’d have one of those health episodes.

Anywho, I don’t think I ever had a Mentos. I always thought those commercials were gay.