University To Offer Safe-Space For Students During Eclipse (Satirical)

NCFReep via AP ^ | 8/10/17 | Staff

[Rebelbase]

Dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!

[RegulatorCountry]

Aiieee, climate change!

[IYAS9YAS]

Amanda Huggenkiss

Really?

I'm looking for Amanda. Amanda Hugginkiss?

Kinda like going to Helen Hunt for your lost purse?

Please tell me this is satire.

[cyclotic]

Great satire...I think. Can’t tell anymore

[CodeToad]

Literally afraid of a shadow!

Congratulations “parents”, you failed to raise your children into adults.

[RegulatorCountry]

I once knew a girl named Fonda Johnson.

[MarvinStinson]

Amanda Huggenkis

[bar sin·is·ter]

Kim Jong Un would hit that.

[RegulatorCountry]

She’s from Oconee County, Walhalla from the looks of her. I can tell.

[Kenton]

But there are some students who will be refusing the eclipse and have demanded the University provide a safe space for them during the event.

I got news for you snowflakes, there is NOWHERE that you can hide from the cosmic effects as an eclipse UNLESS you cover the top of your head with some kind of tin or aluminum shield (see example above).

[BenLurkin]

Native American moon dancers...

What, do they hop around wearing nothing but a pair of chaps?

[jjotto]

I dated Fonda Dicks! She’s still in the girls’ basketball record books in Iowa.

I also knew a girl named Bunny Hoppe from north central Iowa.

[Reno89519]

Are we in the 21st century?!

[E. Pluribus Unum]

The tattooed pagans are a superstitious lot.

[who knows what evil?]

Nice try.

[Ray76]

This “school” needs to be shut down, everyone associated sent to a mental institution.

[Cecily]

We are; some at Western Carolina University are not, and they don’t seem to be situated in that place known as “Reality” either.

[Jamestown1630]

Nowadays, it’s just so easy to believe it...

[LouAvul]

Your link goes nowhere. Bogus article, but nice try.

[GOYAKLA]

Steel jock time!