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I don't think most men want a wife who will literally wait on them hand and foot, but they wants to feel valued and appreciated and thanked as their provider and protector, by a wife who he can appreciate as kind, sweet and caring...Doesn't mean she has to be an uneducated kitchen-dweller by any stretch, or even that she has to make less than him or not have a career, but nothing will keep a man on the straight and narrow like a sweet, appreciative wife. And when he instead gets nagged to death by a wife who is more a provider than he can be, things go south. The problem that men are perceiving is that women these days are encouraged to be ball-busters. And women can somewhat back up their ball-busting with substance as they are now, in ever increasing numbers, more economically successful than men. Nothing hurts a man, whether he fully realizes it or not, and brings him to his worst more than being cut out of his natural, God-given role as provider and protector. So they simply become listless, selfish, porn-consuming man-children or angry manemists. The evil one always seeks to invert God's good creation.

I'm a man in my early twenties. I have a degree in an engineering field, so I'm one of a decreasing number of men who will likely be earning a decently substantial salary by my mid thirties or so if I play my cards right. I do want to have and raise a family. But I can say definitively that experience in college with the godlessness of young people was very discouraging, my experience with the godlessness of many, many young people even in supposedly Christian circles is discouraging, and the stories on this thread are discouraging. I'm not trying to set myself up as superior to others by any stretch, I'm as sinful and flawed as anyone for sure, but what I want -- a marriage in which divorce is simply not an option, period, in which as many children as God sends are welcomed (and then home-schooled so they aren't totally ignorant), in which both spouses want to give themselves totally to maintaining a godly household, just isn't what the vast majority of people seem to want. Of course, there needs to be some mutual attraction and commonality of general interests as well, and finding that combined with the above qualities of what I consider a good marriage feels like looking for a four-leaf clover.

....”finding that combined with the above qualities of what I consider a good marriage feels like looking for a four-leaf clover.....

I am smiling at your post as I recall a young man years ago who could have written this as well. He prayed daily for the women he would one day marry, even before meeting her. For her protection, for wisdom and all which he believed she would need until God brought her into his path.

Of course that did happen, (they both voluntered for a church camp for kids), and no it wasn’t love at first sight....but the environment they were in was conducive to get to know each other just for the work they each did there. He liked her, she liked him....and you can guess how the story went from there.

Today he has family with three children, a happy home and they could not be happier.

God knows where she is...so you keep looking where good women may be found and he will arrange the meeting.

I was in your same boat about 15 years ago.

Be CAREFUL.

I had friends marry women from church - singing in the choir, etc. The Western culture is toxic. Women have insane expectations. The choir girl left husband 1 for husband 2, then left him for another man. All before age 35. Tread carefully.

Western women will pay no attention to you in college. Once you hit 30 and are successful they’ll be coming after you, especially if you display outward signs of success (house car etc). At 35 you can date women from 18 to 40. The ones your age are divorce or have been with many men and are all business. The younger ones are silly and fun.

My advice is to find a woman from a non-Western country. Asian countries, Eastern Europe. Anywhere but here. Maybe 1 in 10,000 here is a good catch.

But those other countries. The men treat women like dirt, they die early, they’re terrible. Globally women know American men are the best husbands and American women are the worst wives. Foreign women keep themselves up, they work hard, love kids and want them, and are just better wives across the board.

You spend time with your wife and your kids mostly. Don’t worry about what other people might say or how they’ll just you. Who cares? People will expose their personality and their objectives if you listen carefully.

Good luck!

I have a degree in an engineering field, so I'm one of a decreasing number of men who will likely be earning a decently substantial salary by my mid thirties or so if I play my cards right.

Unfortunately being in STEM you have been targeted to be replace by a H-1B visa holder at some point. The whole H-1B visa program is designed to keep you in check economically. I am an engineer also. The wages you start at will probably be the same as you make 10 years form now adjusted for inflation. Then again you may get lucky and not experience the joy of being replaced by a Pakistani making 2/3 your salary. The joy of having a mortgage, small children and telling your wife you've been laid off. Such fun. I remember the rush of happiness in her face when I told her. That is when my marriage really took a hit. Thanks globalism.

As was suggested, pray for your wife. I prayed for my son’s wife since he was born and now I pray for my grandchildren who are not yet born. No sex before marriage either. Keep God on the throne of your lives. Follow in His steps, gear up for Satan’s attacks to rip you both apart, and thank Him for all you have.

Proverbs 3

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
8 It will be healing to your body
And refreshment to your bones.
9 Honor the Lord from your wealth
And from the first of all your produce;
10 So your barns will be filled with plenty
And your vats will overflow with new wine.
11 My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord
Or loathe His reproof,
12 For whom the Lord loves He reproves,
Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.

Got some bad news for you bro. I was in your situation in my 30s had a good job, didn’t drink, no drugs, never even thought about fooling around on my wife. I was very content and happy. However, the ex had different plans. Got divorced, lost my job because of it, got cleaned out by her lawyer. Eliminated all my retirement accounts and savings. In 2012 she abandoned the my kids with me while she went on to her next victim. I was still required to pay her child support until November 2016 even though the kids lived with me. Jumped through all the hoops for 5 years and when I finally got her into court she had to pay nothing. I spent 10k n lawyers for nothing. No back support no future support and the kids are still with me. Still want to enter the marriage game? Run dude, run fast