“They also believed, to a man, the Federal government could use no force to stop secessions, unless secessionists started war, which, of course, they soon did.”
If secession was not legal, as you and Lincoln say, then the actions of the South should have been put down as an insurrection.
No, Lincoln clearly announced that so long as Secessionists did not commit violence against the United States, no violence would be used in return.
Once Confederates launched war against the Union, then Lincoln responded in kind.
Yes, Lincoln's April 15, 1861 proclamation after Fort Sumter did not refer to either rebellion or insurrection, but his July 4th message to Congress used both terms many times.
Congratulations, you've just seen a glimpse of reality. How does it feel?