And then there is...
Posted on 02/07/2016 12:23:17 PM PST by Sean_Anthony
Was pope #1 ordained?
Global warming vs brimstone. What is a bigger threat? Ask Sodom.
Interesting question. When was the word "Pope" first tried before a focus group?
Was Peter, the Rock, the first head puppeteer in the new church, known as Pope Peter? Something tells me he wasn't.
Was he married? I don't know. Jesus was pretty popular with the women folk. I don't recall Peter's wife being among them.
It says right here that Peter was ordained. He was ordained by Jesus. Jesus also invited Peter to join him in Heaven after a pretty gruesome crucifixion if you place weight in the Apocrypha.
As long as we're on the subject, something like the first 35 popes were canonized. The thirty-sixth guy didn't make it. If I was him I'd be a little annoyed. He must have angered some cardinals along the way. Maybe he preached against the evils of man made global warming. That should serve as a warning to our current climatologist-pope.
Great Caesar's Ghost!
Brigham Young must have been a Democrat! Or is it that all Democrats are Mormons. That can't be right! Mitt Romney may be a liberal, for the most part, but he isn't a Democrat.
Maybe it's that all Mormons and Democrats evolved from a common ancestor i.e. we're looking at the same rungs on that twisty ladder thing.
At the end of the day, they elevate a new Pope after a meeting of Cardinals in a smoke filled room. That part has never changed in a good long time.
Only Cardinals who smoke are invited.
Every now and then a bunch of them have to blow some smoke into this tube.
Some Cardinals blow black smoke and some white. I think the ones that believe in man made global warming can only blow black smoke.
The rule is you can't choose one of your own to be Pope. So when all the black smoke blowers exhale into the tube, you get black smoke up the chimney, ergo, no new Pope.
The sensible ones, the white smoke blowers, who don't believe in man made global warming, have to pick one from the unwashed group. Then they all blow into the tube and you get a bunch of white smoke going up the chimney. That's when you get the new Pope.
The part of the rule that seems so ungodly is everyone has to pick from the other group. So the sensible ones, the ones with common sense can only pick from the nit-wit group. That's how we got Pope Francis...a Jesuit, for God's sakes. Jesuits believe a number of things that right thinking people eschew.
I spent four years in seminary where I learned these things. I smoked Benson and Hedges in the seminary, and I was a white smoke blower. I was asked to leave the seminary before I was ordained when the guys who ran it told me they had way too many sensible, white smoke blowers. They had to balance things by keeping more of the nitwit black smoke blowers around.
As I think on it now, if they had kept me, I would have been ordained, and probably would have been elevated to Pope by this time instead of Francis. Then we would have a non-nitwit, white smoke blowing, sensible guy with common sense who doesn't preach at all about the evils of man made global warming.
Appointed by God, same thing.
Or is it that all Democrats are Mormons.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4a6YdNmK77k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5evKY5n0GM
And then there is...
Pope Stephen VI Pope John XII Pope Benedict IX Pope Boniface VIII Pope Urban VI Pope Alexander VI Pope Leo X Pope Clement VII
Now, that's not bad...not bad at all...
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
