Dave Barry's 2015 Holiday Gift Guide (Hilarious)

richmond.com ^ | Dec. 6, 2015 | Dave Barry

[PROCON]

LOL, I love this guy!

Wearable Hummingbird Feeder

$79.95 from heatstick.com

Suggested by Janice Gelb of Melbourne, Australia

Imagine having a hummingbird hover right in front of your face. Specifically, in front of your eyeballs. It’s darting around and thrusting with its long, pointy, needle-like beak. Right next to your eyeballs! Which you use to see!

Ha-ha! If that sounds like a fun and relaxing nature adventure for you or some lucky individual on your holiday gift list, then you definitely need to get this wearable hummingbird feeder. This is basically a face shield, kind of like what hockey goalies wear, with a hummingbird feeder tube that pokes out right between the eyes. You go to an area frequented by hummingbirds, put the mask on, sit there for a while and then suddenly, yikes, you are eye-to-beak with an extremely close-range hummingbird.

“If you are serious about hummingbirds,” states the product website, “this feeder will take your relationship with your hummingbirds to a whole new level.”

This item could also be used as a mask for the person on your holiday gift list who commits armed robberies. (“Do what he says! He has a hummingbird!”)

[EvilCapitalist]

I’m getting 3 rolls of toilet paper for my Dad for Christmas. Each sheet has a picture of Hitlery Rotten Clinton on it. I’m fairly sure he’ll love the gift.

[HiJinx]

I think the Poo-Pourri is a winner! Imagine how much nicer the Canteen would smell if we were to use a few of those!

[cld51860]

Truly hysterical! LOL

[PROCON]

LOL, it is well needed.

We could get the Nicholas Cage pillowcase for LUV.

[brivette]

the job’s not finished until the paperwork is done.

[EvilCapitalist]

You got that right.

[Southside_Chicago_Republican]

Thanks, I needed this!

[mylife]

Secret Santa LOL

[luvie]

...or Santa’s secret. :)

[luvie]

I loved Dave Barry!

[luvie]

Agreed! But the Nicholas Cage pillowcase is out! Won’t settle for anything less than Tom Selleck!

[mrsmith]

‘the man on your holiday gift list who wishes to make a bold fashion statement, specifically: “I do not own a mirror.” ‘

LOL! Dave sure can turn a phrase!

[PROCON]

I'm getting me one of these...

[luvie]

you do and you MUST post REAL pictures! LOL!

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Poo-Pourri commercial

You will laugh. Or at least find it slightly humorous.

[luvie]

I think I’d like the belly bump ball for the crowds at the store at Christmas. LOL

[luvie]

O M G!!! ROFL!

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Read the reviews at Amazon. They are not quite on the level of the Sugar-free Gummy Bears but they produced an occasional twitch of the lips.

[luvie]

Sugar free gummies is CLASSIC!