Posted on 02/28/2014 1:52:39 PM PST by HammerT
People we have to stop the madness, it is time to protect the children and the elderly from THE health crisis of our day. That crisis is stairs, the scourge of many a child and older folk. Every year thousands are injured and million more suffer from the affliction of Climacophobia and Bathmophobia. It is time that we turned our focus on Constitutionally protected rights to things that have no constitutional underpinnings. Sure, you’re protected in expressing you opinion and bearing a gun to protect yourself, but here we have an opportunity to really take control of people’s lives and force them to live the way we want them to.
After all, we know better, we’re more edumatcated and we care more about them… well, not all of them, some of them are dirty disgusting folks who live in flyover country and cling to their Bibles and such and have moral values.
But I digress – after all, we don’t have to let them know that we find their traditional values and moral upbringing to be backward – we can just talk amongst ourselves about such things..
Okay, where was I? Oh yeah controlling people’s lives – micromanaging them if you will.
But you ask, how can we do that? Besides forcing Obamacare on them all?
Well, I’m glaad you asked, because we can control them by taking care of them and ‘protecting’ them.
And one big way of doing this would with stair control. Now we know we can’t immediately have people tear down they’re two story colonials. But we can begin with addressing the biggest step threat we and the Chillllren face: Assault Stairs. We’ll have to do this incrementally as always when taking away people freedom that they don’t need anyway
There is no constitutional guarantee that you can own handrail, and there is no commonsense reason that you need more than one floor or a building without an elevator.
You don’t need a basement or a second story, and you certainly don’t need a vehicle so big that you need steps to get into it.
You shouldn’t need more than 4-5 steps to get into your house, and you darn shouldn’t need more than one story on your humble abode. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking – the step culture is too prevalent in this country. That the stair nuts are just too numerous.
We will have to be rid of our culture's last vestiges on this scourge. No more ‘step children’, No more step aerobics. We have to ban any movies that have that subject manner in them – the Stepford wives. The 39 steps – yes the step culture is everywhere! Not to mention criminal second story men..
The problem is we have sinister groups who want to preserve the reign of stair terror, people make PROFIT from steps and stairs and handrails. Let’s talk about some these menacing miscreants: The National Stair Association or NSA [Their whole invading your privacy and eviscerating the 4th amendment is just a cover for their real objective of lobby for Big Stair]
This step lobby behemoth is the other side of the stair safety movement along with Society To Advance Independent Residential Standards or STAIRS.
[This is how insidious Big Step – using their acronym for a common item found in most homes]
There are others but we don’t want to give them any extra publicity if fostering their evil stair agenda
Of course I am not the only one sounding the clarion call against stairs:
……………………………………………………..
If It Saves Only One Life Gun Logic Applied to Staircases
You hear it all the time from those who want gun control laws added to the more than 25,000 plus existing regulations, “if it only saves one life, it is worth it.” Many of us who actually value simple small things like the right of self determination, the constitution of the nation, and individual liberty will often point to automotive deaths as a counter argument, but I have a better one – deaths and injuries due to staircases. Let’s examine some classic gun grabber logic and apply it to staircases. I think you will be shocked at the results. First some statistics, falling down stairs on average Kills over 1,300 people per year – (source) Over 1 million people are injured per year in stairway falls – (source) Nearly 100,000 children a year are injured enough by stairway falls to require hospitalization – (source) Young children and the elderly are the most victimized by falls – (source) Let’s take those numbers over a decade we get… 13,000 deaths that never had to happen 10,000,000 plus hospital visits that never had to happen 1,000,000 children hospitalized for serious injury that never had to happen An unfair and disproportionate group of victims who are small kids or older adults that need protection
Here is a radical thought, “no one needs stairs”. Heresy? Not really, clearly I am not serious when I say we should ban stairs, but let us examine it with gun control logic. Why do you think you need stairs? Well, to get to the second or higher floor of a building for one thing. Really? Man, elevators have been safer than stairs since 1852 when the cable brake was invented by Elisha Otis. So we just need to ban stairs (except for emergency use and their use by trained professionals, of course) and we will save over 13,000 lives in only 10 years, not to mention prevent over 10,000,000 hospital visits.
Not practical? Now hold on this is gun grabber logic where the government has a fleet of magic unicorns that fart rainbows and solve problem with things called regulations, laws, congressional committees, building codes and “government oversight” not to mention taxing the evil rich!
Let’s start with what we can all agree on, the madness must stop. So, at a minimum, we have to ban the building of any new stairs for general use. All new constructions will have stairs only for emergency evacuations, there will be licensed trained professionals that can use them for other needs and who will direct us untrained types down them if necessary. That is right, if you need to use your stairs dial 911 and professionals will come to your aid. http://brinkoffreedom.net/politics-and-economics/if-it-saves-only-one-life-gun-logic-applied-to-staircases/
……………………………………………………………….
Fortunately, we have a number of organizations that are starting up to fight this modern day epidemic of stair madness.
This first out of the starting block was of course: Moms Demand Action On Stairway Elimination And Safety Mitigation On All Steps, Stoops, and Stairways [Or MDAOSEASMOASSAS for short.]
Then there is Stop the Stair Madness - SSM.
And continuing with the forward momentum for flat earth living, there is this off shoot from MDAOSEASMOASSAS - Moms Against Second Stories.
(They parted ways cause of naming issues) and lastly it’s come to my attention that Moms Against Second Stories is going to join forces with Democrats United for Mono-story construction to form the DUM-MASS coalition. DUM-MASS wanted to have a million step mom march on the mall, but they’re having hard time finding busses that don’t have steps. So please , support one of those wonderful organizations today and proudly declare that you’re a DUM-MASS – remember its only a first step to getting rid of steps – For the Chilllren!
What good is freedom with the constant danger of falling down the stairs – or worse being pushed down the stairs?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.