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Things Your SgtMaj Hates: Online Training
Castra Praetoria ^ | 1-27-2014 | America's Angry SgtMaj

Posted on 02/06/2014 5:00:19 AM PST by servo1969

There are a number of annual training requirements we have to meet in the Marine Corps. It being the 21st Century, some of those have to do with cyber awareness and protecting information of various kinds. Since common sense is not a common virtue we are all subjected to online training in protecting personally identifiable information and classified material. Not completing the training will result in the Marine Corps turning off our access to e-mail and internet at work. This sounds more like a reward than a consequence but remember what I said about sense being common.

The cyber counter ninja training takes the form of a first person video game. You are someone going about their work day and gain points by properly responding to situations where information could be compromised. Yawn!


At no point do they allow you to take this guy's cyber lunch money.

At one point during the scenario you are having lunch at a local cafe. The waiter approaches with the check. As he leaves he pockets your cell phone and the narrator asks: "Oh no! He's taken your phone. What do you do?" Immediately a list of choices appears on the right hand portion of the screen. Among them are things like reporting the theft to your security officer, walk home dejectedly alone in the rain, and whine indignantly. Being the kind of person I am, I chose: "Go after him!"

A red X appeared on the screen indicating I had chosen wrongly. I was soundly reprimanded by the computer: "No, going after him could be dangerous! Report the theft to your security manager." Naturally this set me off.

"Are you kidding me? I'm a United States Marine. I'm freaking dangerous! I doubt some waiter would walk off with my phone while my foot was knee deep in his -ss."

After head butting the monitor I stomped over to my data ninja's office. I let him know his MOS sucked and the stupid cyber course was for desk ridden chumps who never played outside as kids.

Gah! Madness and sissification!


TOPICS: Computers/Internet; Government; Humor; Military/Veterans
KEYWORDS: computer; marines; online; training

1 posted on 02/06/2014 5:00:19 AM PST by servo1969
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To: servo1969

As someone who builds these courses for a living I would agree. You think going through it once is tough? Try a few dozen times as you work out each bug.

Luckily I haven’t built a security training course in a few years.


2 posted on 02/06/2014 5:09:33 AM PST by Azeem (There are four boxes to be used in the defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury and ammo.)
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To: servo1969

I’ve taken that training. It does indeed ‘fellate’.


3 posted on 02/06/2014 5:18:54 AM PST by tgusa (gun control: deep breath, sight alignment, squeeze the trigger .......)
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To: tgusa
I’ve taken that training. It does indeed ‘fellate’.

Amen. I also hated the anti-terrorism training. It basically told Marines to cower and wait for help to arrive.

I can only imagine what Chesty would have said...

4 posted on 02/06/2014 6:28:55 AM PST by rjsimmon (1-20-2013 The Tree of Liberty Thirsts)
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To: servo1969
"Are you kidding me? I'm a United States Marine. I'm freaking dangerous! I doubt some waiter would walk off with my phone while my foot was knee deep in his -ss."

ha!

5 posted on 02/06/2014 6:32:21 AM PST by latina4dubya (when i have money i buy books... if i have anything left, i buy 6-inch heels and a bottle of wine...)
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To: Azeem

If I were you I’d be lucky to be alive.


6 posted on 02/06/2014 6:46:12 AM PST by Sequoyah101
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To: servo1969

SEMPER FI!!


7 posted on 02/06/2014 7:00:28 AM PST by cloudmountain
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