A Review of 2013’s Dark Energy and a Quantum Explanation of the "Big Obama Expansion Effect"

Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 1-1-2014 | MOTUS

[NOBO2012]

Can you believe it?  2014 already!

2013 was difficult to recap. There were so many new beginnings:

Warning: objects may be smaller than they appear to be

Big Bang: New Hairdo!

So many dinner parties:

So many ethnic costumes to rock:     

                   

So many memorable trips to Africa:

“See this cell? That’s all I’m going to say. Right?”

So many phony scandals to dismiss;

Butt without a doubt the biggest story of the year took place at the intersection of dark energy and black holes; to wit, the launch of the Obamacare website, which, as you know, is officially implemented today. Unfortunately it hasn’t turned out to be the big bang we were hoping for:

“Not only has no one ever found a void this big, but we never even expected to find one this size,” - Lawrence Rudnick, University of Minnesota.

More of a big bust, to be perfectly honest. Here is the official tally so far:

• 4.7 million: the number of people who’ve lost the insurance that they liked butt couldn’t keep

• 2.0 million: signed up for Obamacare coverage (unclear how many of these are new Medicaid enrollees)

By most metrics that would reflect a negative “gain,” so why is Kitty so “thrilled” about these numbers? Because the normal rules of mathematics don’t apply in the vacuum of a dark energy field, which is where   Obamacare-mathemagicals™^* reside. Exactly how does that work, you ask?

“The answer may lie in dark energy, which became a dominant force in the Universe very recently, when the Universe was already three-quarters of the size it is today. Dark energy works opposite gravity and is speeding up the expansion of the Universe.”

Unless and until all of that “dark energy” - fed by copious amounts of “quantum easing” – causes an uncontrolled acceleration of inflation which subsequently results in a giant explosion. In that unlikely event, Obamacare would blow right out the rear end of this big black hole.

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR, ONE AND ALL!

^* For further readings in Obamacare-mathemagicals™ I recommend the following posts:

• Math-O-matics: Tweedle-Dumb and Tweedle-Dumber 

• Math is Hard: Remind Me Again, How Many Zeroes in a Trillion? 

• There’s No Fuzzy Math in NASCAR

• There’s No There There. Really.

• Addition in the Age of Obama (subtraction, not so much) 

• We Are Sooo Wearin’ O’ the Green

Posted from: Michelle Obama’s Mirror 

[Slyfox]

Big Moochie Expansion:

[mikrofon]

For the resulting headache, take 2 tablets & see your Doctor in the morning.
(If he's still available...)