The woman sounds like a Catholic
Catholics like me, believe that death is between them and God, that you are supposed to live this life (hellish as it may be) not kill yourself.
The narcotic pain meds can be a surreptitious means of death by overdose. “nursing” homes are evil in many cases. Leaving patients in their own mess, placing food trays out of their reach, the people that work there develop a sick sense of their power of life and death over their patients. Additionally they are ridiculously expensive.
Keep the poor woman at home, don’t warehouse her in the blind belief the “nursing home” would give better care than you at home. It is just a job to them and they don’t love her. She could go for weeks without seeing anyone who loves her in a warehouse like that.
I do not want to be an invalid or a burden to anyone. I do not fear death-—death just pisses me off. I have too many things left to do.
At what age and at what degree of infirmity do we actually seek death?
The selfish family wants to put her out of THEIR misery.
There are some important omissions here, that might cast some light on her situation.
I assume her family can be subdivided into the caregivers who live with her, and those who do not live with her. It is important to know which group supports either alternative.
Caregivers can become exhausted, and/or unhappy with the behavior of the person being cared for. They may be unable or unwilling to provide more care at home.
Either group may have “false empathy”, projecting disability and discomfort on another person as they imagine it to be, not how it actually is. A good way around this, used by hospitals, is to frequently poll discomfort and pain of the patient, using a “one to ten” scale chart.
http://i.imgur.com/lN9bN5c.jpg
In either case, it is important that she get her paperwork in order, or it could turn into a family brawl. That is, her will, any family trust, her living will and resuscitate (or not) order, her (unsigned) power of attorney, (and with some research) her preferred hospital (differences between hospitals are becoming greater and can mean the difference between life and death.)
It is also important to know at what point, if any, she is willing to go to a nursing home or hospice.
That is an understatement of monumental proportions. I write from personal experience with someone who was closer to me than anyone else ever was or ever will be. I am looking at her photo as I write.
