Posted on 10/17/2013 1:45:07 AM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
Imagine you have a brother and hes an alcoholic. He has his moments, but you keep your distance from him. You dont mind him for the occasional family gathering or holiday. You still love him. But you dont want to be around him.
This is how I lovingly describe my current relationship with the United States. The United States is my alcoholic brother. And although I will always love him, I dont want to be near him at the moment.
I know thats harsh, but I really feel my home country is not in a good place these days. Thats not a socio-economic statement (although thats on the decline as well), but rather a cultural one.
I realize its going to be impossible to write sentences like the ones above without coming across as a raging prick, so let me try to soften the blow to my American readers with an analogy:
You know when you move out of your parents house and live on your own, how you start hanging out with your friends families and you realize that actually, your family was a little screwed up? Stuff you always assumed was normal your entire childhood, it turns out was pretty weird and may have actually f***ed you up a little bit. You know, dad thinking it was funny to wear a Santa Claus hat in his underwear every Christmas or the fact that you and your sister slept in the same bed until you were 22, or that your mother routinely cried over a bottle of wine while listening to Elton John.
The point is we dont really get perspective on whats close to us until we spend time away from it. Just like you didnt realize the weird quirks and nuances of your family until you left and spent time with others, the same is true for country and culture. You often dont see whats messed up about your country and culture until you step outside of it.
And so even though this article is going to come across as fairly scathing, I want my American readers to know: some of the stuff we do, some of the stuff that we always assumed was normal, its kind of screwed up. And thats OK. Because thats true with every culture. Its just easier to spot it in others (e.g., the French) so we dont always notice it in ourselves.
So as you read this article, know that Im saying everything with tough love, the same tough love with which Id sit down and lecture an alcoholic family member. It doesnt mean I dont love you. It doesnt mean there arent some awesome things about you (BRO, THATS AWESOME!!!). And it doesnt mean Im some saint either, because god knows Im pretty screwed up (Im American, after all). There are just a few things you need to hear. And as a friend, Im going to tell them to you.
And to my foreign readers, get your necks ready, because this is going to be a nod-a-thon.
A Little What The Hell Does This Guy Know? Background: Ive lived in different parts of the US, both the deep south and the northeast. I have visited most of the USs 50 states. Ive spent the past three years living almost entirely outside of the United States. Ive lived in multiple countries in Europe, Asia and South America. Ive visited over 40 countries in all and have spent far more time with non-Americans than with Americans during this period. I speak multiple languages. Im not a tourist. I dont stay in resorts and rarely stay in hostels. I rent apartments and try to integrate myself into each country I visit as much as possible. So there.
(Note: I realize these are generalizations and I realize there are always exceptions. I get it. You dont have to post 55 comments telling me that you and your best friend are exceptions. If you really get that offended from some guys blog post, you may want to double-check your life priorities.)
OK, were ready now. 10 things Americans dont know about America.
1. Few People Are Impressed By Us
Unless youre speaking with a real estate agent or a prostitute, chances are theyre not going to be excited that youre American. Its not some badge of honor we get to parade around. Yes, we had Steve Jobs and Thomas Edison, but unless you actually are Steve Jobs or Thomas Edison (which is unlikely) then most people around the world are simply not going to care. There are exceptions of course. And those exceptions are called English and Australian people. Whoopdie-f***ing-doo.
As Americans, were brought up our entire lives being taught that were the best, we did everything first and that the rest of the world follows our lead. Not only is this not true, but people get irritated when you bring it to their country with you. So dont.
2. Few People Hate Us
Despite the occasional eye-rolling, and complete inability to understand why anyone would vote for George W. Bush, people from other countries dont hate us either. In fact and I know this is a really sobering realization for us most people in the world dont really think about us or care about us. I know, that sounds absurd, especially with CNN and Fox News showing the same 20 angry Arab men on repeat for ten years straight. But unless were invading someones country or threatening to invade someones country (which is likely), then theres a 99.99% chance they dont care about us. Just like we rarely think about the people in Bolivia or Mongolia, most people dont think about us much. They have jobs, kids, house payments you know, those things called lives to worry about. Kind of like us.
Americans tend to assume that the rest of the world either loves us or hates us (this is actually a good litmus test to tell if someone is conservative or liberal). The fact is, most people feel neither. Most people dont think much about us.
Remember that immature girl in high school, who every little thing that happened to her meant that someone either hated her or was obsessed with her; who thought every teacher who ever gave her a bad grade was being totally unfair and everything good that happened to her was because of how amazing she was? Yeah, were that immature high school girl.
3. We Know Nothing About The Rest Of The World
For all of our talk about being global leaders and how everyone follows us, we dont seem to know much about our supposed followers. They often have completely different takes on history than we do. Here were some brain-stumpers for me: the Vietnamese were more concerned with independence (not us), Hitler was primarily defeated by Russia (not us), there is evidence Native Americans were wiped out largely disease and plague BEFORE Europeans arrived and not just after, and the American Revolution was partly won because the British invested more of their resources in beating France (not us). Notice a running theme here?
(Hint: Its not all about us. The world is more complicated.)
We did not invent democracy. We didnt even invent modern democracy. There were parliamentary systems in England and other parts of Europe over a hundred years before we created government. In a recent survey of young Americans, 63% could not find Iraq on a map (despite being at war with them), and 54% did not know Sudan was a country in Africa. Yet, somehow were positive that everyone else looks up to us.
4. We Are Poor At Expressing Gratitude And Affection
Theres a saying about English-speakers. We say Go f*** yourself, when we really mean I like you, and we say I like you, when we really mean Go f*** yourself.
Outside of getting sh*t-housed drunk and screaming I LOVE YOU, MAN!, open displays of affection in American culture are tepid and rare. Latin and some European cultures describe us as cold and passionless and for good reason. In our social lives we dont say what we mean and we dont mean what we say.
In our culture, appreciation and affection are implied rather than spoken outright. Two guy friends call each other names to reinforce their friendship; men and women tease and make fun of each other to imply interest. Feelings are almost never shared openly and freely. Consumer culture has cheapened our language of gratitude. Something like, Its so good to see you is empty now because its expected and heard from everybody.
In dating, when I find a woman attractive, I almost always walk right up to her and tell her that a) I wanted to meet her, and b) shes beautiful. In America, women usually get incredibly nervous and confused when I do this. Theyll make jokes to defuse the situation or sometimes ask me if Im part of a TV show or something playing a prank. Even when theyre interested and go on dates with me, they get a bit disoriented when Im so blunt with my interest. Whereas, in almost every other culture approaching women this way is met with a confident smile and a Thank you.
5. The Quality of Life For The Average American Is Not That Great
If youre extremely talented or intelligent, the US is probably the best place in the world to live. The system is stacked heavily to allow people of talent and advantage to rise to the top quickly.
The problem with the US is that everyone thinks they are of talent and advantage. As John Steinbeck famously said, the problem with poor Americans is that they dont believe theyre poor, but rather temporarily embarrassed millionaires. Its this culture of self-delusion that allows America to continue to innovate and churn out new industry more than anyone else in the world. But this shared delusion also unfortunately keeps perpetuating large social inequalities and the quality of life for the average citizen lower than most other developed countries. Its the price we pay to maintain our growth and economic dominance.
In my Guide to Wealth, I defined being wealthy as, Having the freedom to maximize ones life experiences. In those terms, despite the average American having more material wealth than citizens of most other countries (more cars, bigger houses, nicer televisions), their overall quality of life suffers in my opinion. American people on average work more hours with less vacation, spend more time commuting every day, and are saddled with over $10,000 of debt. Thats a lot of time spent working and buying crap and little time or disposable income for relationships, activities or new experiences.
6. The Rest Of The World Is Not A Slum-Ridden Sh*thole Compared To Us
In 2010, I got into a taxi in Bangkok to take me to a new six-story cineplex. It was accessible by metro, but I chose a taxi instead. On the seat in front of me was a sign with a wifi password. Wait, what? I asked the driver if he had wifi in his taxi. He flashed a huge smile. The squat Thai man, with his pidgin English, explained that he had installed it himself. He then turned on his new sound system and disco lights. His taxi instantly became a cheesy nightclub on wheels with free wifi.
If theres one constant in my travels over the past three years, it has been that almost every place Ive visited (especially in Asia and South America) is much nicer and safer than I expected it to be. Singapore is pristine. Hong Kong makes Manhattan look like a suburb. My neighborhood in Colombia is nicer than the one I lived in in Boston (and cheaper).
As Americans, we have this naïve assumption that people all over the world are struggling and way behind us. Theyre not. Sweden and South Korea have more advanced high speed internet networks. Japan has the most advanced trains and transportation systems. Norwegians make more money. The biggest and most advanced plane in the world is flown out of Singapore. The tallest buildings in the world are now in Dubai and Shanghai. Meanwhile, the US has the highest incarceration rate in the world.
Whats so surprising about the world is how unsurprising most of it is. I spent a week with some local guys in Cambodia. You know what their biggest concerns were? Paying for school, getting to work on time, and what their friends were saying about them. In Brazil, people have debt problems, hate getting stuck in traffic and complain about their overbearing mothers. Every country thinks they have the worst drivers. Every country thinks their weather is unpredictable. The world becomes, err predictable.
7. Were Paranoid
Not only are we emotionally insecure as a culture, but Ive come to realize how paranoid we are about our physical security. You dont have to watch Fox News or CNN for more than 10 minutes to hear about how our drinking water is going to kill us, our neighbor is going to rape our children, some terrorist in Yemen is going to kill us because we didnt torture him, Mexicans are going to kill us, or some virus from a bird is going to kill us. Theres a reason we have more guns than people.
In the US, security trumps everything, even liberty. Were paranoid.
Ive probably been to 10 countries now that friends and family back home told me explicitly not to go because someone was going to kill me, kidnap me, stab me, rob me, rape me, sell me into sex trade, give me HIV, or whatever else. None of that has happened. Ive never been robbed and Ive walked through some of the shittiest parts of Asia, Latin America and Eastern Europe.
In fact, the experience has been the opposite. In countries like Russia, Colombia or Guatemala, people were so honest and open with me, it actually scared me. Some stranger in a bar would invite me to his house for a barbeque with his family, a random person on the street would offer to show me around and give me directions to a store I was trying to find. My American instincts were always that, Wait, this guy is going to try to rob me or kill me, but they never did. They were just insanely friendly.
8. Were Status-Obsessed And Seek Attention
Ive noticed that the way we Americans communicate is usually designed to create a lot of attention and hype. Again, I think this is a product of our consumer culture: the belief that something isnt worthwhile or important unless its perceived to be the best (BEST EVER!!!) or unless it gets a lot of attention (see: every reality-television show ever made).
This is why Americans have a peculiar habit of thinking everything is totally awesome, and even the most mundane activities were the best thing ever! Its the unconscious drive we share for importance and significance, this unmentioned belief, socially beaten into us since birth that if were not the best at something, then we dont matter.
Were status-obsessed. Our culture is built around achievement, production and being exceptional. Therefore comparing ourselves and attempting to out-do one another has infiltrated our social relationships as well. Who can slam the most beers first? Who can get reservations at the best restaurant? Who knows the promoter to the club? Who dated a girl on the cheerleading squad? Socializing becomes objectified and turned into a competition. And if youre not winning, the implication is that you are not important and no one will like you.
9. We Are Very Unhealthy
Unless you have cancer or something equally dire, the health care system in the US sucks. The World Health Organization ranked the US 37th in the world for health care, despite the fact that we spend the most per capita by a large margin.
The hospitals are nicer in Asia (with European-educated doctors and nurses) and cost a tenth as much. Something as routine as a vaccination costs multiple hundreds of dollars in the US and less than $10 in Colombia. And before you make fun of Colombian hospitals, Colombia is 28th in the world on that WHO list, nine spots higher than us.
A routine STD test that can run you over $200 in the US is free in many countries to anyone, citizen or not. My health insurance the past year? $65 a month. Why? Because I live outside of the US. An American guy I met living in Buenos Aires got knee surgery on his ACL that would have cost $10,000 in the US for free.
But this isnt really getting into the real problems of our health. Our food is killing us. Im not going to go crazy with the details, but we eat chemically-laced crap because its cheaper and tastes better (profit, profit). Our portion sizes are absurd (more profit). And were by far the most prescribed nation in the world AND our drugs cost five to ten times more than they do even in Canada (ohhhhhhh, profit, you sexy bitch).
In terms of life expectancy, despite being the richest country in the world, we come in a paltry 38th. Right behind Cuba, Malta and the United Arab Emirates, and slightly ahead of Slovenia, Kuwait and Uruguay. Enjoy your Big Mac.
10. We Mistake Comfort For Happiness
The United States is a country built on the exaltation of economic growth and personal ingenuity. Small businesses and constant growth are celebrated and supported above all else above affordable health care, above respectable education, above everything. Americans believe its your responsibility to take care of yourself and make something of yourself, not the states, not your communitys, not even your friends or familys in some instances.
Comfort sells easier than happiness. Comfort is easy. It requires no effort and no work. Happiness takes effort. It requires being proactive, confronting fears, facing difficult situations, and having unpleasant conversations.
Comfort equals sales. Weve been sold comfort for generations and for generations we bought: bigger houses, separated further and further out into the suburbs; bigger TVs, more movies, and take-out. The American public is becoming docile and complacent. Were obese and entitled. When we travel, we look for giant hotels that will insulate us and pamper us rather than for legitimate cultural experiences that may challenge our perspectives or help us grow as individuals.
Depression and anxiety disorders are soaring within the US. Our inability to confront anything unpleasant around us has not only created a national sense of entitlement, but its disconnected us from what actually drives happiness: relationships, unique experiences, feeling self-validated, achieving personal goals. Its easier to watch a NASCAR race on television and tweet about it than to actually get out and try something new with a friend.
Unfortunately, a by-product of our massive commercial success is that were able to avoid the necessary emotional struggles of life in lieu of easy superficial pleasures.
Throughout history, every dominant civilization eventually collapsed because it became TOO successful. What made it powerful and unique grows out of proportion and consumes its society. I think this is true for American society. Were complacent, entitled and unhealthy. My generation is the first generation of Americans who will be worse off than their parents, economically, physically and emotionally. And this is not due to a lack of resources, to a lack of education or to a lack of ingenuity. Its corruption and complacency. The corruption from the massive industries that control our governments policies, and the fat complacency of the people to sit around and let it happen.
There are things I love about my country. I dont hate the US and I still return to it a few times a year. But I think the greatest flaw of American culture is our blind self-absorption. In the past it only hurt other countries. But now its starting to hurt ourselves.
So this is my lecture to my alcoholic brother my own flavor of arrogance and self-absorption, even if slightly more informed in hopes hell give up his wayward ways. I imagine itll fall on deaf ears, but its the most I can do for now. Now if youll excuse me, I have some funny cat pictures to look at.
Note: My responses to common criticisms can be found here.
Double Note: If youre young and live in the US and want to know why you should work abroad, go here
Take this with many grains of salt. A knee replacement for free?? You’ve got to be kidding me. I travel abroad extensively and don’t believe much of what you are saying, except the status part.
Actually, the blogger is pretty arrogant. Having spent what, three years living in unidentified foreign locations now this qualifies him as the only expert on what’s wrong with America and who is right about his 10 points? Blecch!
I feel the lesser after having read this screed.
No wonder his brother is an alcoholic.
This guy sounds like Obama.
I vote he stays in whatever third-world craphole he wishes so he can enjoy the 6-story cineplex to his heart’s content and I’ll stay right here. That way, both of us will be happy and never have to put up with each other. Oh, and BTW, please have him send back his US passport while he’s at it since he’s found Nirvana elsewhere.
Speaking as an expat living in Japan, I can’t account for all of this, but most of it, especially regarding attitudes, is bang on. Most of my Japanese friends have written off America as a tourist destination and are reluctant to accept business appointments that take them there.
Canada is much preferred, South American appointments are very competitive, Europe is a city-by-city decision, but going to America even as a highly paid middle management type is just more hassle than its worth.
Comments? Just one. When someone uses obscenities in a blog I quit reading and dismiss them as an idiot
No, I really don’t care what else they have to say, they’re idiots...period.
I agree with all 10 - I don’t know about the free health and the circumstances behind it — I remember going to a Kuwaiti hospital - for as rich as they are - it was dirty and over crowded...I guess it depends...but yes - most US citizens (largely the youth) are idiots to world politics and obese people are everywhere...but then again - look at the politicians we keep sending into office and the deals they make with food producers and Monstano!
He doesn’t say knee replacement, he says knee surgery. Surgery (or much of anything) quickly runs up in the tens of thousands in Obamaland.
I think I just ignored him. Later on I found him glued to his TV and watching CNN International and soaking up all the bad crap they were spouting.
The liberal media has destroyed our country and for the life of me I can't understand why they did it.
Can I take my AR15 with me? No? I'll stay here, thanks. Yes, it's that important to me. The author reeks of whiny socialist anyhow.
How’s London?
There was a time when the Japanese were heavily invested in the City, according to the locals, but now the islamics seem much more important...
NZ has been insanely left, and anti-christian and antisemitic for fifty years or more.
Trust me, I know a few of them. It’s like a board meeting of Daily KOS.
All the comments until yours, Ronin, epitomize what the author was talking about. There are none so blind as those that will not see. I agree with everything the guy says, including medical care. Some travel extensively but never learn. Some prefer to remain in place and not learn. The reflexive knee-jerk reaction is just sad but does prove the point.
It is such a shame about the politics because it has got to be the most beautiful and diverse place on earth.
My next door neighbors are Japanese expats, they seem to like Texas pretty well and they are raising a beautiful family here.
My son lives in South Korea and he says status and consumerism is much bigger there.
Debt ceiling increase?...Obamacare? BOTTOMS UP!
In my 12 years between central Europe and the Philippines, I do not hear many comments one way or the other. I think many know that the American dream is not what it use to be.
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