Posted on 09/21/2013 9:09:10 AM PDT by John Semmens
In an op ed aimed over the head of Russian President Vladimir Putin and directly to the Russian people, US Senator John McCain tells them “you deserve better.”
“If you look at the pattern of Mr. Putin’s behavior it seems clear that he has deviated from the path set down by Lenin back in 1917,” McCain wrote. “If you look at the Heritage Foundation’s Index of Economic Freedom, Russia is rising in the rankings. That means your country is becoming more capitalistic. Is this really the direction you want to go?”
“Mr. Putin has also taken a stance in defense of traditional religious values and institutions,” McCain continued. “He is reinjecting the opium of the masses. This undermines the secular values that so many of your countrymen have died to further for nearly 100 years. Is this really the direction you want to go?”
“Finally, his meddling in Syria has denied the world the opportunity for a major conflict and its uplifting potential for unifying both sides in a cause bigger than personal selfishness,” the op ed added. “Have you forgotten how good it felt when Stalin led your country into the great patriotic war against the Nazis? What noble venture will your generation enjoy under Mr. Putin’s reign?”
The Senator ended his piece by offering himself as a replacement for Putin saying that “if you, like I, have become disillusioned with backsliding and want to break free of namby-pambyism, I would gladly follow in the footsteps of that other great American Naval war hero John Paul Jones. If called upon to serve I will come.”
Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) expressed pessimism that Russians would accept his colleague’s offer, but agreed that “as slim as the prospects may be, it would give us another option for going to war with Iran. I’m confident that if John were calling the shots in MoscowIran would have no alternative but to give in or be blasted to rubble. McCain would not tolerate any disobedience.”
Graham’s main option is to try to get Congress to authorize President Obama to “use whatever force is necessary at whatever time is most advantageous against Iran or any other nation, organization, or individual if, in the President’s judgment, it is necessary for the advancement of US global objectives.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2013/09/21/president-calls-house-vote-on-budget-personal-attack-on-me/
ALMOST had me going! But, “truth is always stranger than fiction.”
Bwahahahahahahahahaha... oh man... when mcbuttface goes bizarro he really goes bizarro world.
All Hail the Glorious Socialist Revolution and our New Dear Leader, Comrade O'Hussein!
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha hah
McNutJob Is MAD AS A HATTER
No doubt. I was shaking my head thinking: “Heh...I believe it.” Good one.
Love it! If McCain was brainwashed back in the Hanoi Hilton (unless he was given a Hanoi apartment with two Vietnamese prostitutes to keep him happy), this satire would be precisely how he would appeal to the Russian people.
How dare Putin jail some of the Pussy rioters after obnoxiously desecrating the Russian church that Joseph Vissarvonich Dhugashvelli (Stalin)personally destroyed.
For satire to work it has to be sufficiently different from reality.
I revise my earlier statement:
“McCain is always stranger than fiction.”
;^)
Things are so crazy that I believed I was reading a “normal” article until the “...blasted to rubble” fake Lindsey Graham quote. Even at that I only double-checked things because I thought even a completely compromised fairly like Lindsey wouldn’t say that out loud.
When you have prez BOzo coming out and essentially saying adding to the debt doesn’t add to the debt it’s not easy to judge what’s supposed to be satire and what isn’t.
Today’s leftists are parodies!
Satire is dead because reality has become itself twisted.
We are living in one big Gary Larson cartoon.
So near to the truth it is scary.
Aw jeez, I got sucked in again. Nice job.
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