DUmmie FUnnies 05-23-13 ("IRS - Did Lois Lerner botch 5th Amendment assertion")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 23, 2013 | Dummies and PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

Okay, I admit it. The main reason for this DUmmie FUnnies edition is so I can post the VIDEO of the sublime moment in yesterday's Congressional IRS hearing when Trey Gowdy let the world and Lois Lerner know that she BLEW it by accidentally waiving her Fifth Amendment rights when she delivered a self-serving opening statement proclaiming her innocence. One moment she is relieved to be dismissed by the committee's chairman and the next moment she is having a Depends Moment when she realizes, thanks to Trey Gowdy, that she completely BLEW her invocation of her Fifth Amendment rights. The DUmmies also noticed that too as you can see in this THREAD, "IRS - Did Lois Lerner botch 5th Amendment assertion." So let us now watch the DUmmies observe in Bolshevik Red how Lois Lerner blew her Fifth Amendment shield while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who notes that Lois Lerner after admitting she was bad at math is even worse at basic legal matters, is in the [brackets]:

IRS - Did Lois Lerner botch 5th Amendment assertion.

[Measured by the sudden expansion of her Depends...YES.]

Lois Lerner started off her appearance by proclaiming her innocence and then Rep(tilian)Trey Gowdy SC said:

["Depends...FILL!"]

“She just testified. She just waived her Fifth Amendment right to privilege,” Rep. Trey Gowdy, R-S.C., a former federal prosecutor, said, “You don’t get to tell your side of the story and then not be subjected to cross-examination. That’s not the way it works. She waived her right to Fifth Amendment privilege by issuing and opening statement. She ought to stand here and answer our questions.”

Members of the public watching in the committee room applauded enthusiastically.

Anyone know how the whole "plead the fifth" thing works and what else you're allowed to say?

[Is that question coming from Lois Lerner's lawyer? ...And now to the DUmmie reactions.]

Too bad - she blew it. You can't defend yourself and then invoke the 5th.

[Unfortunately Lois Lerner's lawyer was sleeping in class the day they taught that.]

No one said she perjured herself. She simply began to tesify, and then invoked the Fifth. Prosecutors would say that is a no-no.

[A no-no which caused poor Lois to do doo-doo.]

Then she should have kept her mouth shut, ya think?

[Keep your mouth shut so your other end doesn't go wide open.]

You can invoke the 5th at any time. Even mid-sentence.

[Sure. Even in mid-burp.]

Can't use it as a sword and a shield. If you decide to shut up, you need to shut up. If you decide to talk, you talk. You don't get to make self-serving statements and then refuse to answer questions about those statements or their subject matter.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

[Choose Ye This Day]

I'm no expert, and I don't know if this applies to testifying before Congress as opposed to a criminal trial, but this is interesting:

If you are ever charged with a crime and your case goes to trial, it is important to know that you do not have to testify. In fact, if your testimony would incriminate you in any way, it may be in your best interest to invoke your Fifth Amendment right. Keep in mind, however, that pleading the fifth applies to your entire testimony—this means that you cannot choose to answer some questions and refuse to answer others.

http://www.selfincrimination.org/pleadingthefifth.html

[Chaguito]

Not gonna bite...

[BykrBayb]

Okay, just hope your face doesn’t freeze like that. Have a nice day.

[wjcsux]

Trey Gowdy was absolutely awesome! He is definately the kind of Representative we need! Too bad there isn’t 100 more like him!

[Condor51]

The funny thing to me about Lois - 'I take the 5th, sort of' - Lerner, isn't that she said she was doing it, "on the advise of Counsel". Nope. But that old Lois is the same 'senior Internal Revenue Service official' who said to the media and all the world on May 10, 2013 that...

"I'm not good at Math, I'm a Lawyer."

Which statement was immediately met with much laughter and people falling off chairs and rolling around on the floor. After all any 'senior Internal Revenue Service official' should be able to; add 2+2 and get 4, subtract 5 from 10, what the Cube Root of 9 is, and know the value of pi (π) (two decimal places, min).

But lo and behold now we find that not only isn't she 'good at math', she isn't any good at 'Lawyering' either. So her Counsel's advice aside, any Lawyer knows you can't Testify then invoke the 5th when it's time for 'Cross'. You 'invoke' when you sit down then shut up.