Thing that gets me is some well to do restaurant like The Metropolitan in Seattle ... dinner for two is like $150 plus. You tip $20. My peeve is the owner(s) don’t have to pay their waitstaff much because they feel the customers will make up their salaries. I remember once when I was in Tokyo, went to a great eatery, and without thinking left a tip. The waiter chased me down the street to return the money I left.
Your Japanese experience is a cultural difference. In Japan the $ for waiters/busboys, etc. is included in the cost of your meal. In Europe it’s also in the bill, tho a gratuity can be added. Tips are not included in the cost of American meals except for large parties. So, actually, in Japan and Europe you have no choice as you do in the U.S.
If The Metropolitan went the Japanese way your $150 dinner would be $180. Upscale restaurants expect a 20% tip, minimum. They do have the better, more experienced servers.
Restaurant profits are marginal. If we want our restaurants to stay open, we pay the fare. In the U.S. that includes leaving a tip that the waiter will then share with the staff.