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Oh hell, why wait....

A reading from the Book of ZOT!

Far had I wandered across the vast realms of Midguard, my faith shaken, my will rent asunder. For all around me the fell plague of Stupidicus had infected a great swath of the chosen.

With each rising of the sun over Midgardian skies, another, then another once firm fellow Freeper flushed his and yes, her, Freepdom into the Great Porcelain Receptacle hidden in the dankest corner of the depths of Trollhenge.

Lo brethren, my faith had indeed flown yon furthest coop, for the minds of many false Freepers had so obviously overflown with Poop! And there seemed to be no end...It seemed that the fell plague of Stupidicus would wreak political genocide on us all. But then....

...Then the time long prophesied in the Book of ZOT!... the time of Zotnarok! was at hand!

And lo didith yon darkened clouds part and lo did the Rainbow Bridge appear in the ever-darkening skies! And upon his mighty eight-legged steed sat the Great Cat, his righteous anger inflamed!

And behind him stood the armies of the Lord thy Mod, like wisps of ethereal fire against the dark skies, largely unseen, yet omnipresent in their terrible and fearsome glory!

And behind them, the cutest and most loveable of all fuzzy forms of fearsome death, the Viking Kitties of legend! Mighty had their number grown! But with such awesome might did come a fearsome appetite for trollean flesh and the fetid guts of false Freepith!

And with a howl of might and fury did the Great Cat unleash the vengeful wrath of the Lord thy Mod! And in turn, didith he so command that the fuzzy force of fear and fortitude sail their longboats to the corners of the realm and wage war upon those who would support and follow the foolishness of those who had gathered under the twin false flags of the man of Myth and the Localized Leader of an invented people!

Brethren, as I sat atop my Pillar of Sorrow and looked down upon the unfolding carnage, my lost faith began to undergo a restoration, for I saw that many of the faithful had had verily just about as much false frothing of liberal lunacy as their well-burdened backs could bear. For so over-run had the realm become with fairweather flake ‘conservatives’ and outright liberal liars that the good people could take no more.

And lo, as predicted in the pages of the ancient tome so very long ago, the prophesied days had come! And as spakeith in leathery pages of yon tome, so too did the Great Cat hear the cries of his people!

JOY! Brethren! Joy had come upon us!

And so Zotnarok! began....

A lightning storm of biblical proportions rained down the Holy Amperage upon trollean heads, blasting BBQ’d bits and bytes of belligerent Paulite and Romneybot bottom to the beat of Thunder God’s song.

And lo brethren did they fit, fart, fume and fuss as great and mighty justice descend upon their bellicose bloviations! But there was no mercy to be had as the Kittith did gorge themselves on foul flesh, without the benefit of added salt or other condiments!

And the battle did rage for days! No sooner hadith the Lord thy Mod blessed one Mittbot with a high-voltage therapeutic treatment for the rectal-crainal inversion that has befallen them, would a Paulistia rise up to meet the sharpened claw and saber-tooth of a Viking Kitty!

And high upon an abattoir piled of besotted and broken bodies did stand the Great Cat himself, unbowed and unwilling to hear the mournful wails of those fallen fiends who had bitten at the paw of friendship and fortitude once offered them!

Verily my brethren, It would be my sheer joy to bring a close to this tale of might and woe right here and right now. But in truth, I cannot. For the tale remains ongoing. Even now, as the Great Cat leads his armies into the fell and drooling maw of liberalism on the homefront, do more and more once-fellow Freepith remove their scant cover of conservatism and come out of the political closet to expose fully their true orientation to us all!

And it is not pretty a thing to see.

Brethren, as the time of Zotnarok! transpires, be ever mindful, ever wary. For the end to this great battle is a vision too far along the horizon to see. Know ye’ one and all that despite the hordes of liberal filth laid bare and broken by the sword and staff of thine Kittith Kin, many more a troll remains hidden in the closet amongst us, not yet ready to openly flaunt his ‘Liberality’, but plotting evil, evermore to cause much dissension and strife among the faithful. Stand strong and wary, for they who hide in shadow await the time to strike back.

They are liberals. They lie. It’s what they do.

Book of ZOT!
Tales of the Time of Zotnarok!, Chapter 1, Verse 1-20
Normie – Wandering Druid of Trollhenge
Cult of Palin