Sluggish Economy Blamed on Lazy Americans

A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 18 Nov 2011 | John Semmens

[chainsaw]

“It’s time that the president tells Americans to get their lazy butts off the couch and mow the lawn or there’ll be no allowance this week.

The allowance is what it keeping them on the couch...It is all they know about earning a living.

[momtothree]

Excellent article, John. I LOVE when you post!

[CAluvdubya]

Great to see you posting again. I hope this thread is not closed, as some of your other recent threads have been. You have many fans on FR.

Bump to that!

I'd say more but I'm too lazy! Bwahahahahaha!

[dayglored]

Great to see another of your fine threads!

Next step will be for the pResident to declare that to combat widespread laziness, the federal government will begin a program of amphetamine distribution, to raise the "national energy level". Speed will be be available at government approved centers for anyone who feels their personal economy could use a "boost".

It's a great deal -- and the first bag is free.

[ErnBatavia]

Glad to see you’re still at it.....!

[Forward the Light Brigade]

If I recall, didn’t Carter say something like this?

[Grunthor]

Thank you for not giving up.

[CharacterCounts]

Obama's position:

If the fifty percent of Americans who are productive would work twice as hard, the other unproductive fifty percent could live twice as good.

[EDINVA]

Brilliant, just brilliant. Humor is the only thing that will get us thru the next year.

Always look forward to your threads.

[ButThreeLeftsDo]

Bravo! Well done!

[rockrr]

Thanks John. Good to see another edition of Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative!

[rockinqsranch]

One of the Left’s major weapons used prolifically against us is cynical humor, condescension, as well mockery.

It is well known that humor is, and the Left proves it all too often a weapon in the ideological wars between the Left, and the Right.

Your talent IMO in the field of mockery, of satire be it humorous, or of serious, and penetrating purpose are needed more today than ever before John. We (Mrs. RQSR, and myself) applaud your efforts, and hope to see many more such excellent pieces penned at your hand in the future.

Thanks for the ping, and please keep up the excellent work.

[markman46]

LOL very good one

[snippy_about_it]

I second Chad’s remark, why the mods or powers that be all of a sudden your stuff wasn’t good is beyond me.

Keep ‘em coming.

[snippy_about_it]

34 is for you John, silly me.

[KC Burke]

Great contribution, as usual.

[ding_dong_daddy_from_dumas]

“Consumers won’t spend. Businesses won’t invest. This is despite a massive increase in the money supply from the Fed that has made borrowing very inexpensive. The private sector is just not doing its part.”

Here is a real-life article that repeats the preposterous MSM argument (from Pelosi etc.) that government spending "drives the economy." The name of the article is Deep Spending Cuts Pose A New Threat To US Economy Unemployment benefits provide about $300 a week. Most of that money quickly and directly boosts consumer spending, which drives the economy.

Sickoflibs explained this argument's "justification:" The rich have money they don't need, so we will find a good use for it for it NOW!

The president indicated that “some of my advisors are urging me to take sterner measures. They say that the problem lies in relying upon voluntary compliance with the government’s incentives and encouragement. They counsel more direct instructions, narrower tolerances for deviations, and stiffer penalties for disobedience. I hope it won’t have to come to that, but I can (Typo, should be "can't") wait too much longer for results.”

Good writers like you make us mentally conjure up a believable Obama saying those words. Convincing and funny, but also

[WayneS]

Nicely done!

[dynachrome]

He’s looking for the culprit on the same golf course that OJ is looking for the killer.

[OneWingedShark]

Nicely done!
Though, if ObamaCare is upheld the line about “voluntary compliance” is one which could well change into “the government will now mandate the purchase of [INSERT GOOD/SERVICE].”