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1 posted on 05/31/2011 12:19:54 PM PDT by Reaganite Republican
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To: Reaganite Republican
"I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. Why he was in my pajamas, I’ll never know..."


2 posted on 05/31/2011 12:25:36 PM PDT by Bloody Sam Roberts (A "Moderate Muslim"? Nothing more than a Muslim Extremist who has run out of ammo.)
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To: Reaganite Republican

The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people’s “206’s”....

- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

- I would not breed from this Officer.

- This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won’t-be.

- When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

- He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.

- He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

- Technically sound, but socially impossible.

- This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.

- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

- When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.

- This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.

- Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.

- She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

- He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

- This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.

- In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.

- This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

- The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.

- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.


5 posted on 05/31/2011 12:41:33 PM PDT by Portcall24
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To: Reaganite Republican

Julia Roberts in “Mr. Wilson’s War”: Why does Congress always say one thing and do nothing?

Tom Hanks replies: Tradition,
I guess.


6 posted on 05/31/2011 12:41:43 PM PDT by Mad Dawg (Oh Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee.)
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To: Reaganite Republican

At our weekly Irish session at a local pub, I am sometimes called upon to come up and sing a song or two. One week, seeing a number of new faces in the crowd, when I got to the mike I said “I had a few requests on the way up here...but I’m gonna sing anyway!”

8^)


7 posted on 05/31/2011 1:04:08 PM PDT by JimRed (Excising a cancer before it kills us waters the Tree of Liberty! TERM LIMITS, NOW AND FOREVER!)
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To: Reaganite Republican
Got Paraprosdokian...?

Hey, some of my best friends are Greek-Armenian.

8 posted on 05/31/2011 1:08:42 PM PDT by RichInOC (No! BAD Rich! (What'd I say?))
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To: Reaganite Republican

Everything made by General Electric sucks....except their vacuum cleaners.


10 posted on 05/31/2011 1:41:27 PM PDT by wolfpat (Not to know what has been transacted in former times is to be always a child. -- Cicero)
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