[thackney]

Was this really needed to excerpt?

A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her were 200 women walking single file. The woman couldn’t stand the curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said “I am so sorry for your loss and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral like this. “Whose funeral is it?”

The woman replied, “Well, that first hearse is for my husband.”

“What happened to him?” The woman replied “My dog attacked and killed him.” She inquired further, “Well, who is in the second hearse?”

The woman answered, “My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her.”

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two women.

“Could I borrow that dog?”

“Get in line.

[Paine in the Neck]

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[paulycy]

BLATANT blog pimp alert.

[rockinqsranch]

Fun site. Some of the jokes are pretty strange, but over all a good chuckle.

[LuvFreeRepublic]

Funny. Going on my FaceBook. Thanks for the laugh.

[Bean Counter]

Midnight, startin’ to “write”. Where are you?
You said you’d stop me, now it’s post number two
I know I’m pimpin’, I’m back and FAAAAAAAAAA-Q’.

On attack, It’s a fact I’m busted at FR.
I turn my back and there you all are.
I’m not really talented, I like lookin’ like a whore.
I try to dodge you ev’ry night and day.
Minn locked my thread, then she zotted my account away-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.

I hate myself for blog pimping you .
Can’t break free from the bandwidth I do.
I wanna blog so I trick back at you, that’s why
I hate myself for blog pimping you .

Daylight, spent the night cut and paste.
But I’ve been dreamin’ ‘bout the space I can waste.
I won’t be as angry ‘bout the hell you put me through.
Hey, man, I’ll be back, nothing you can do.

I hate myself for blog pimping you .
Can’t break free from the bandwith I do.
I wanna blog so I trick back to you, that’s why
I hate myself for blog pimping you.

I hate myself for blog pimping you .
I hate myself for blog pimping you .
I hate myself for blog pimping you .

(With many apologies to Joanie Jett...)

[Larry Lucido]

The woman replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my husband."

I don't get it. That's the joke?

[Bean Counter]

(ahem)

RED SAILS IN THE SUNSEEEEEEEEET,
WAY OUT ON THE SEEEEEEEE
OH CARRY MY LOVED WUUUUUUUUN,
HOME SAFELY TO MEEEEEEEEE

SHE SAILED AT THE DAWININNNNNNNNGGGGGG,
ALL DAY I’VE BEEN BLUUUUUUUUUE
RED SAILS IN THE SUNSEEEEEEEEEEET,
I’M TRUSTING IN YOOOOOOO

SWIFT WINGS YOU MUST BORROWWWWWWWWWW
MAKE STRAIGHT FOR THE SHORRRRRRRRRE
WE MARRY TOMORROOOOOOOOOOOOW
AND SHE GOES SAILING NO MORRRRRRRRRRRRRRE

RED SAILS IN THE SUNSEEEEEEEEEET,
WAY OUT ON THE SEEEEEEEEEEE
OH CARRY MY LOVED WUUUUUUUUUUUUUN,
SAFELY HOME TO MEEEEEEEEE!!!

Tank yew verra much.....