With apologies to Samuel Taylor Coleridge, I give you
Rhyme of the ancient Pimp
It is an ancient Pimp,
And he pimpeth links of three.
`By thy long grey beard and glittering eye,
Now wherefore stopp’st thou me?
The Freeper’s doors are opened wide,
And I am next of kin;
The guests are met, the feast is set:
Mayst hear the merry din.’
He holds him with his skinny hand,
“There was a post,” quoth he.
`Hold off! unhand me, mod loon!’
Kitties his hand dropped he.
He holds him with his glittering eye -
The Pimp Daddy stood still,
And listens like a three years’ child:
The Pimp hath his will.
The Pimp Daddy sat on a stone:
He cannot choose but hear;
And thus spam on that ancient pimp,
The bright-eyed Pimp.
“The post was jeered, the forum cleared,
Merrily did we drop
Below the kirk, below the hill,
Below the lighthouse top.
The sun came up upon the left,
Out of the blogs came he!
And he shone bright, and on the right
Went down into the blogs.
Spamming and Spamming every day,
Till over the news at noon -”
The Pimp Daddy here beat his breast,
For he heard the loud bassoon.
The mod hath paced into the hall,
Red as a rose is she;
Nodding their heads before her goes
The merry minstrelsy.
The Pimp Daddy he beat his breast,
Yet he cannot choose but hear;
And thus spam on that ancient pimp,
The bright-eyed Pimp.
“And now the spam-blast came, and he
Was tyrannous and strong:
He struck with his o’ertaking wings,
And chased us south along.
With sloping news and dipping prow,
As who pursued with yell and blow
Still treads the shadow of his foe,
And forward bends his head,
The post drove fast, loud roared the blast,
And southward aye we fled.
And now there came both mist and snow,
And it grew wondrous bold:
And spam, news-high, came floating by,
As green as a noob.
And through the drifts the forum posts
Did send a dismal sheen:
Nor shapes of pimp nor beasts we ken -
The spam was all between.
The spam was here, the spam was there,
The spam was all around:
It cracked and growled, and roared and howled,
Like noises in a swound!
At length did cross an Pimp Patrol,
Thorough the fog it came;
As it had been a Christian soul,
We hailed it in God’s name.
It ate the food it ne’er had eat,
And round and round it flew.
The spam did split with a thunder-fit;
The helmspimp steered us through!
And a good south wind sprung up behind;
The Pimp Patrol did follow,
And every day, for food or play,
Came to the Pimp’s hollo!
In mist or cloud, on news or shroud,
It perched for vespers nine;
Whiles all the night, through fog-smoke white,
Glimmered the white moonshine.”
`God save thee, ancient Pimp,
From the fiends that plague thee thus! -
Why look’st thou so?’ -”With my lemon gun
I shot the Pimp Patrol.”
Crikey that was long. You should have just excerpted it.
Pimping, pimping, everywhere.. and fail to give a link
Pimping, trying, pimps beware, they claim my blog doth stink!"
Show-off. ;-)
That was great! Thanks!
If I were a blog pimp,
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd pimpy pimp my blog.
If I were a blog pimp.
I wouldn't have to work hard.
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I were a bloggy bloggy pimp,
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.