Posted on 06/08/2010 7:38:13 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson
I guess Barack Obama is now subscribing to the Bill Maher theory of how a "real black president" should act: He's looking for some ass to kick! And the DUmmies are urging him on. Never mind that BO is not actually DOING anything about the BP oil spill. They just want Oilbama to act angry and outraged--in other words, more like a DUmmie.
Several threads on this over at DUmmieland. The two main ones we're using are this THREAD, "On the epic BP environmental clusterf***: "Obama Looking for Whose Ass to Kick"!!!" and this THREAD,"Barack Obama: I'm Talking To Gulf Experts 'So I Know Whose Ass To Kick.'" The DUmmie comments are in Red Meat Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--lamenting the fact that Helen of Thomas, the face that launched a thousand quips, got lost in the shuffle--is in the [Barackets]:
On the epic BP environmental clusterf***: "Obama Looking for Whose Ass to Kick"!!!
[Finally, a real black president!]
"I was down there a month ago, before most of these talking heads were even paying attention to the Gulf," Obama told NBC's "Today" show in an interview. . . .
["A quick trip to the Gulf, so I could get back to the golf!"]
"A month ago I was meeting with fishermen down there, standing in the rain talking about what a potential crisis this could be."
["And it WAS a crisis! The rain was messing up my photo op!"]
"I don't sit around talking to experts because this is a college seminar," Obama continued.
["I talk to experts because they're like, um, experts, you know? They know stuff. And that way, uh, it looks like I'm 'in charge' and 'presidential,' like I'm supposed to be."]
"We talk to these folks because they potentially have the best answers, so I know whose ass to kick."
["'I'm gonna git you, sucka!' There, you happy, Bill Maher?"]
The DUmmies react . . .
Even if they electocuted the whole lot of BP execs, it's not going to make the f***ing mess go away.
[OK, but at least he's acting outraged, and that's what counts.]
On day 48 of the spill. . . .
[Yes, but he was secretly outraged all along.]
Was he serious? Whose ass has he kicked so far?
[Um. . . . Next question. . . .]
Barack Obama: I'm Talking To Gulf Experts. . . .
[Barack Obama: I'm Talking To Golf Experts. . . .]
'So I Know Whose Ass To Kick' . . . More talk like this, please.
[More talk, no action: The DUmmie Way. DUAC! DUAC!]
Peoiple WANT to hear him get mad. Talking about ass kicking is not just for college sports and soldiers.
[It's for real black presidents too!]
The red meat crowd loves this sh*t, but the red meat crowd can't get a dogcatcher elected and still can't figure out why.
[Bolshevik Red Meat: It's what for DU dinner.]
What's sad is that Obama needs to be prodded and pushed to get mad. He and his consultants all have their finger in the wind. They are only telling us he's mad because people began complaining that he's not and that he's not kicking ass. Which he's not.
[OK, panel, I'm going to flip the cards over and award today's oil-soaked Kewpie Doll to . . . DUmmie breadandwine for this Brief Moment of Mental Clarity®! Congratulations!]
Obama really has no taste for the jugular, can't kick ass and thinks everything is a matter of singing around the campfire.
[Barry would rather bump another rump than kick some ass.]
And because of them we are about to lose the House and the Senate to the GOP.
[Hee! Hee!]
What Obama is saying is, um, uh, oh yeah. I guess I'm er, um, angry. I think I'll engage in, uh, um, er, FISTICUFFS. Obama looks about as angry as a door knob.
[You are on a ROLL, DUmmie breadandwine!]
His speech is BORING.
[He puts the "BO" in "BORING"!]
Actions speak louder than words.
[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]
I support the President in looking for asses to kick. . . .
[Got my ass-kickin' steel-toed boots on!]
a stupid rant about kicking some invisible ass. Jeez, I wouldn't let my boys get away with that when they were 12 years old, why the hell would I want my President to sound like that.
[Get the Lifebuoy! . . . By the way, you just said "Jeez" and "hell."]
The left is always ranting and raving. . . . I'm talking about the left who always wants somebody to hold their breath until they turn blue and think that it's going to solve a problem. . . . People want to be told the truth, and they want effective government. That's All. They do not care what package it comes in, as long as it doesn't raise taxes and doesn't involve another government program. That's the country you live in, like it or not.
[Sorry, DUmmie sandnsea, today's Kewpie Doll has already been awarded.]
This is f***ing awesome. I LIKE this talk.
[Meanwhile, the oil continues to flow. . . .]
I think "So I know who I should open a can of whup-ass on" would poll better.
[Go with that.]
"Can you smell what the Barack is cooking!"
[Pelican in oil?]
I would be happy to line up all the asses in a row. . . .
[Is that you, benburch?]
President Tough Guy
in!
"I want my life back!" kick-ass PING!
Top 10!
I bust mine so I can kick yours!
Top 5??
Top 10?
Its clear the man knows a lot about kissing ass not kicking it ...but then maybe he’s gotten kinkier
Top 10!!!
Top 10 & back to read.
Who is calling me a liar, you or the machine? 'Cause I need to know whose ass to kick!
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she’s very plain
But that’s just perfect for an Amish like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I’m milkin’ cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
And I’ve been milkin’ and plowin’ so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I’m a man of the land, I’m into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1699
We’ve been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
I’ve churned butter once or twice
Living in an Amish paradise
It’s hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Living in an Amish paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don’t care, in fact I wish him well
‘Cause I’ll be laughing my head off when he’s burning in hell
But I ain’t never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a ‘tude? You know that’s unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
If you come to visit you’ll be bored to tears
We haven’t even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain’t really quaint, so please don’t point and stare
We’re just technologically impaired
There’s no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe
It’s as primitive as can be
We’ve been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We’re just plain and simple guys
Living in an Amish paradise
There’s no time for sin and vice
Living in an Amish paradise
We don’t fight, we all play nice
Living in an Amish paradise
Hitchin’ up the buggy, churnin’ lots of butter
Raised the barn on Monday, soon I’ll raise another
Think you’re really righteous? Think you’re pure in heart?
Well, I know I’m a million times as humble as thou art
I’m the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin’ points for the afterlife
So don’t be vain and don’t be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your hiney
We’ve been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We’re all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish paradise
There’s no cops or traffic lights
Living in an Amish paradise
But you’d probably think it bites
Living in an Amish paradise
One of Wierd Al’s best!
Going to take my kids to see him next month. They love him.
Kicking ass? That will save the birds, estuaries, fish, shrimp and stop the oil from flowing.
I doubt he’s ever kicked an ass in his life and doesn’t have any experience there either. Now if he were to drop the “K” and replace with an “L”...
Thank you Charles. Sometimes the only antidote to Obama’s more idiotic and irritating comments is a good dose of DUmmie FUnnies.
Wow. What a tough guy.
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