The 50 Points of the Retrosexual or Neosexual Code for Real Men Today

The Way One Vike Sees It ^ | 2/28/10 | Tom Hawks

[stormer]

[Tom Hawks]

Thanks, I will definitely get them added to the list. It is after all a growing list, and yes real men are not ashamed to admit they love Christ.

[meadsjn]

Real men don't need a label such as Retrosexual or Neosexual.

We're just men.

[ThunderSleeps]

I'm with you on the curling. I've never tried it, but as I understand it, drinking is a big part of the game. Besides, some of those ladies in the Olympics curling are definitely easy on the eyes.

Speaking of drinking, there ought to be something mentioned along the lines of the martini thing. Guys should be able to drink whiskey straight up. Ok, on the rocks while you're getting used to it.

Real men don't whine and complain about category III BS. Suck it up, get the job done.

Real men know how to drive a stick shift, can parallel park without having their car do it for them, and can back a windowless van up to a loading dock using only mirrors.

Real men, no matter what their job is now, have worked a manual labor job at some point in their life.

Real men aren't afraid to lead by example. They don't say one thing and do another. They live the life.

Real men aren't afraid to lead from the front, even if it is dangerous. That's why it is called leading.

Real men have a shovel in the garage, and that shovel has visible wear.

[ThunderSleeps]

I guess I don't make the cut. I have long preferred to have my hair cut by (real) women.

My barber is also a woman. Of course, she works on a military base and I get a buzz cut...

[MindBender26]

Effing A, Bro!

[TheWriterTX]

Another thing I've noticed about Men (as opposed to boys) is that they treat their wives well. They give their wives latitude over the home because they want the home to be clean, pleasant, and happy. But when they do feel strongly enough to say "no" to something, the wife usually defers without question because they are so surprised their husband had an opinion in the first place!

Real men show their love for their wives/girlfriends by "doing". They don't need to spout platitudes or constantly proclaim their love or share their feelings, because, in their minds, any fool can claim anything. The proof is what they do. Metrosexuals talk a good game, but are missing in action when the going gets tough.

I've dated metrosexuals - but I married a MAN. He is everything on this list, and more.

[OneVike]

Basically I think what Tom was getting at was the idea that a real man would not even consider allowing a gay hairdresser to cut his hair because that is just antithetical to the idea of a macho man.

Manly men, I believe, have no problem allowing a woman cut his hair because we like the touch of a woman, anywhere on our bodies.

But what real man would allow another man with a limp wrist that speaks with a lisp to touch his head?

[Mr Ramsbotham]

Some of these points are simply pedantic. Reminds me of the intellectuals who put forth a list of "must read" books that just happen to comprise all the books the intellectual himself his read, and none that he hasn't.

I don't see why a man has to ruin or compromise his health in order to sustain his manhood, nor do I see why he has to behave like a lout, particularly towards the ones he loves. And I have to confess that my wife is a better driver than I am, although I do drive a truck, with a stick shift--only because I need a truck to haul stuff with. Otherwise I'd drive a small import.

[Alamo-Girl]

Thanks for the ping!

[Tom Hawks]

Otherwise I'd drive a small import

Did I mention that I was going to add this to the list but I wanted to keep the list at 50?

51.) Retrosexual or Neosexual men do not drive small imports, they only drive big gas guzzling vehicles that are typical of the classic American cars.

Unfortunately I would have even eliminated myself with that one.

[Victoria Delsoul]

I have one more for your list, OneVike:

A Retrosexual doesn't cry on his TV show over and over again. ;-)

[TNdandelion]

True, I think the rules are for those that don’t quite meet the “real men” standards. Kind of like an instruction manual.

[TNdandelion]

lol

[wardaddy]

Great essay...I loved it....especially numbers 19 and 23.

[wardaddy]

no kidding..a martini is gin and vermouth with olive..and it’s stirred..sorry James

maybe vodka instead of gin but still that is slippery slope straight to cosmopolitan hell

[wardaddy]

unproven..much like the one that Chuck Conners made homo porn which was wholly BS

[wardaddy]

Thia real man here read it and enjoyed it.

[wardaddy]

btw..thanks for your service as a war criminal for our country

[esquirette]

Looks like I married the right guy. It took me about 20 years before I realized they are ALL like that.