Posted on 01/07/2010 9:51:07 AM PST by big black dog
Every Tuesday I go to Murphy's Taproom in Manchester to hang out with a bunch of liberty-oriented people. This is a famous event among Free-staters. About 40-60 people gather weekly for about 4 hours and eat and drink and are merry. I'm no longer allowed to go there, because I don't tip.
I've written some of my thoughts about tipping in the past, and have since fleshed out my position in my mind, so I won't focus here on the reasons to tip or not to tip. Here, I want to merely explain what happened tonight.
About 6 weeks ago, someone at Murphy's charged my credit card for a tip even though I did not pay one. I probably wrote a "0" (zero) on the tip line because I have done that for years, but perhaps the waiter, or whomever, hand-wrote "3.0" in front of that to look like "3.00," because they charged me a $3.00 tip. Next Tuesday I told Keith Murphy, the owner of Murphy's Taproom, and he refunded my $3.00. I did not ask to see the original receipt and he did not offer to let me see it.
Then, a few weeks later, I was again charged for a tip that I did not offer. In case you're curious, I do not tip ever, so I am positive that I did not tip in either of these instances. So tonight when I was gathering with my friends at Murphy's, I told Keith it happened again, for $4.00 this time. He said he'd look into it and refund my money if it was true (he has no reason to trust me, so I accept that he should trust the original paperwork). But then he asked me if I tipped the waitress in cash. I said "No." He asked me how I tipped the waitress. I said "I didn't. I don't tip." Keith then asked me to come with him into the back room to talk about it.
On the way back he said to me, "I've got to warn you, I was a waiter for 10 years." I'm sure this was meant to alert me to his position on the matter, which seemed to be pro-tipping, but it seems odd to think that me knowing his position would alter mine.
He asked if I received good service. I told him "The service is average here, but I can understand why: the place is a zoo. People are changing tables, moving around, it's crowded..." I was being conservative in that estimation of the quality of service: service at Murphy's is generally pretty bad (not always!) but for the aforementioned, understandable reasons.
He let me know that the waiters earned $3.00 per hour. I said, "Yeah, I learned that a month ago. That doesn't happen in California." He told me it's standard on the east coast, which I also learned about a month ago.
He asked me why I don't tip waiters that earn $3.00 per hour, and I told him "It's not my problem or choice. They chose to work for $3.00 per hour and could choose another job that paid more if they wanted to." He asked for more reasons, and I told him "I don't tip anyone" and "if I tip the waiters, why don't I tip the cook or the owner?," and possibly one or two more reasons. He said "But you do tip me [the owner], in a way. I get a small portion each time you pay." And I replied, "So do the waiters: $3.00 per hour."
To this, Keith replied, "I don't pay my waiters $3.00 per hour to give good service." I said, "Yes, you do." He said, "No, I don't." I said, "Yes, you do. You hired them at $3.00 to do what?" And he said "To wait on customers..." - and here he realized what he was saying, and added "...with the expectation of receiving the standard 15-20% tip in addition to their wages." He also told me that "tipping is a custom in this country - at least, and many others." I'm aware of this, and I'm aware of countries in which tipping is considered an insult (e.g., Japan), and I'm aware that on cruise ships, for example, that are in international waters and flying flags of convenience (i.e., they are not in any country), tipping is also customary; I did not mention any of this to Keith.
Keith then told me, "This is nothing personal against you, but if you're not going to take care of my wait staff, I don't want you in my restaurant. It's your right to not tip, but it's my right to not want you as a customer." I replied, "OK. I understand. Please refund my $4.00 and I'll leave. Can I have five minutes to say goodbye to my friends?" He allowed me five minutes.
As I was saying goodbye to my friends, Keith approached me and gave me my $4.00 and showed me the original receipt, explaining "It was an accident. The waitress though the zero you wrote on the tip line was a four, and you can see it does kind of look like a four." It did indeed look like a four. But I did not write it that way. When I write any dollar amount, ever, I write the full amount, like "$4.00" or "4.00" - never like "4" - but on the receipt, all that was written was "0" and that had a few extra lines and squiggles that made it look kind of like a "4." And the number "3" in the total amount at the bottom of the receipt had been written over as well, to make "$23.20" look like "$27.20" - I did not do that, either. I stuttered a few seconds, trying to find a polite way to tell Keith that it was not an accident, that his waitress intentionally stole my money, but I figured he was not going to un-ban me and I didn't see a point, so I just said, "OK."
I recognize that it is Keith's restaurant - his private property - and as such he has the right to choose his customers. I do not hold it against him that he banned me, or even that he disagrees with me about tipping. I am merely disappointed that I will no longer be able to go to Taproom Tuesdays. I really enjoyed that event. And there are some friends that I hardly ever see except there. Oh well, I'll have to make more of an effort to see them elsewhere.
I realize, though, that what Keith essentially did was ban me from the restaurant because he's too cheap to pay his wait staff better. That's not exactly true, because the government has a law saying that restaurant owners must pay their tip-receiving wait staff exactly $3.00 per hour - no more and no less. But Keith could make better arrangements with his employees and not hold his customers responsible for his wait staff's well-being. Keith could, for example, pay his wait staff more, but keep it under the table; or he could offer to give them, out of his own pocket, the difference between whatever his customers tip and 20% of their bill; or he could make a policy in his restaurant that tipping is not allowed, and then the law would allow him to pay them more; or he could even help his wait staff recognize that tips are not guaranteed like wages are, even as reward for good service. But he would rather pay them less of his own money and rely on his customers to follow tradition and give them more money. And his decision to do so, in this case, cost him a customer.
My wife is employed at Walmart. She makes considerably more than minimum wage (though, not as much as she’s actually worth - but, then I work in public education and am not making what I’m worth either - in fact, this year I’m making nearly $1,400 a year less than I made last year.
If by “good service” you mean bringing me the correct items & ringing up my bill correctly, then yes, I want good service. By that standard, I also want good service at the dentist, the Wal-mart checkout line, the hardware store, and Taco Bell. And I don’t tip at any of those places.
I distinctly remember working an Easter Sunday in our party room and had a large group of about 30. They stayed my entire shift, and they also ran up one helluva bill. Our servers had the option to add the gratuity, but I rarely exercised that option. I found that I made more if I never added it to the bill.
One person picked up the tab, and when I brought the ticket, I informed him that the gratuity was NOT on the ticket. He got great service, and nothing was wrong with the food. I got $0 on the tip. So, therefore, I not only did not make $2.13 an hour, I made less than that b/c I was taxed on the ticket.
I always knew when I screwed up, and never expected anything if had done so. However, this guy's cheap ass ran me to death, took up my entire section during my shift, and made me lose money because of it.
Good point....how many people tip the people who clean hotel rooms?
That is a service that matters more than just handing over food, similar to the way a waiter does more than just give the food and leave.
Yet, I don’t know a single person that tips people who clean hotel rooms.
Why not? Don’t they deserve it just as much as waiters?
This is my point....tipping isn’t fairly determined. Some people really get the shaft even though they don’t make much either.
Good point....how many people tip the people who clean hotel rooms?
That is a service that matters more than just handing over food, similar to the way a waiter does more than just give the food and leave.
Yet, I don’t know a single person that tips people who clean hotel rooms.
Why not? Don’t they deserve it just as much as waiters?
This is my point....tipping isn’t fairly determined. Some people really get the shaft even though they don’t make much either.
Good point....how many people tip the people who clean hotel rooms?
That is a service that matters more than just handing over food, similar to the way a waiter does more than just give the food and leave.
Yet, I don’t know a single person that tips people who clean hotel rooms.
Why not? Don’t they deserve it just as much as waiters?
This is my point....tipping isn’t fairly determined. Some people really get the shaft even though they don’t make much either.
>>Whether one agrees with the practice of tipping, the fact remains that, in this country (and throughout most of the world) tipping wait staff is customary.<<
So is stopping at a red traffic light, even if it is four in the morning and you are the only car for miles. I violate that “custom” on a regular basis as well. As I age, I am leaving my “inner lemming” behind.
sorry for the multiple posts...internet hiccup.
I've always been told that if the service is really bad, you should leave pocket change -- just a few coins. That action conveys your message better than no tip.
What I really hate is that when paying for a meal with a big bill, the waitress returns with only big bills. Then you have to ask them to break a $20 in order to leave a tip. That is always done on purpose, and I'm certainly not leaving $20 for a $10 meal.
Because you are obviously not welcome. Why would any waiter want to wait on someone that doesn't provide a tip?
I do ... not sure about anybody else. I think several of guys I work with do.
>>Whoah there! I spend a LOT of time in hotel rooms. I have never, EVER tipped. Where did this come from?<<
I worked at a Hilton in college.
We got tips, you got extra towels, toiletries and most anything you asked for. I even left candy for kids who where there a while.
If you’re going to be in a hotel for more than a day, leave a note the first day with a buck or two. I ALWAYS leave a note stating that we don’t needs the beds changed for a week stay, a request for extra towels and a couple dollars. The maids will bend over backwards for you.
A tipped position is like a commissioned position, its merit based pay.. you do your job well you make more money, you do it lousy you make less. Works well and washes out lousy service because they won’t enought to keep working. This guy doesn’t want to tip its his right, but I’d ban his ass too. He’s welcome not to tip ever, but if he’s not tipping for no reason other than he doesn’t feel like it, I have no reason to have my staff waste time on him for his $20 tab once a week.
He wants his beer and no tip, wait your turn at the bar until you get served and walk back to your group afterward.
This sort of customer is going to be known to wait staff and having them waste their time on him for his couple of beers a week when the place is busy isn’t worth the time. I don’t need my wait staff angry or fighting over who is going to get the dud.
He’s welcome to just be cheap, for whatever reason he wants to be, and the owner has every right to say... don’t come back now.. ya hear?
A tipped position is like a commissioned position, its merit based pay.. you do your job well you make more money, you do it lousy you make less. Works well and washes out lousy service because they won’t enought to keep working. This guy doesn’t want to tip its his right, but I’d ban his ass too. He’s welcome not to tip ever, but if he’s not tipping for no reason other than he doesn’t feel like it, I have no reason to have my staff waste time on him for his $20 tab once a week.
He wants his beer and no tip, wait your turn at the bar until you get served and walk back to your group afterward.
This sort of customer is going to be known to wait staff and having them waste their time on him for his couple of beers a week when the place is busy isn’t worth the time. I don’t need my wait staff angry or fighting over who is going to get the dud.
He’s welcome to just be cheap, for whatever reason he wants to be, and the owner has every right to say... don’t come back now.. ya hear?
>>I have always found that people who say “waiters and bartenders make very good money”, have never worked as a waiter or bartender.<<
I’ve known several that DID and DO make very good money. They were also very good at their jobs. I’ve also known car salesmen that could barely get by and others that consistently earned more than $10k a month.
Did somebody tell you that life is "fair"?
If so, go punch him/her/it in the face ... they deserve it for lying to you.
Thank you! That is an outstanding summary. I enjoy finding wait staff that really knows how to make dinning enjoyable and I like tipping accordingly.
No, I asked if they got paid more than that entirely....meaning after tips.
Their real pay is not just the 2-3 bucks.
I can’t imagine any waiter not making at least $8 bucks an hour after tips.
Good for Murphy’s.
>>Yet, I don’t know a single person that tips people who clean hotel rooms.<<
I got more tips as a maid than I EVER did dishing ice cream.
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