I could discuss that question for hours, but my short answer is this. Alcoholics who have not found a healthy system of recovery are spiritual wrecks with deeply buried insecurities and self loathing. Frequently, there's over compensation in one's public persona, and any honest alcoholic will understand the notion of "an egomaniac with an inferiority complex." Why do we drink ourselves to death? Simple answer: it's suicide on the installment plan.
You’re sadly correct. I know an individual that after retiring from the military went into a constant drunk of depression.
This person’s character was not to ever off themself yet they spoke of suicide once in this depression.<-— If that makes sense.
This person although a highly decorated public speaker forced by the military- had social anxiety dosorder.
Your story helped me to TRY to understand them. For I never could.
1)How do you confront and isolate pain?
2) Have you thought of contacting K maybe it is your time maybe not but how do you know?
I am sorry I am getting too deep and personal I have no idea why. If it offends just tell me to stfu.