Oh JOY!
Once you get beyond the Eastern spiritualism part, there is a lot of psychological basis for many things in Feng Shui.
Get your heating system checked is feng shui? I mean it’s a smart thing to do this time of year, but but it’s not really a decorating or aesthetic tip.
I know you love that stuff.
Got to get my Feng Shui on!
Steve: Of course not. Okay! [to the women] You bring these things
into our homes (throw pillows). They sit on our chairs. They watch our televisions.
Now, I just need to know, on behalf of all men everywhere, I just
need to ask, please... What are they for? I mean, look at them!
Look at the chubby little bastards! Just sitting around everywhere!
What are they, pets for chairs? [to shop assistants] Come on, you
sell them. What are they for?
Junior Shop Assistant: Well...
Senior Shop Assistant: You sit on them.
Steve: Ah! Ha ha ha! You see, thats where youre wrong! Nobody sits
on them. Okay, watch this. Heres the cushion. Im putting it on
the sofa. Now watch me. Im stting down. And what do I do on my
final approach? I - oh! - move the cushion! You see? Its not
involved! Its not part of the whole sitting process. It just lies
there. Its fat litter! Its a sofa parasite!
Jane: Its, you know... padding.
Steve: Oh, padding! Now, thats interesting, Jane. See, I like
padding. If I was, say, an American Football player, and all those
big bastards running at me, I would say “give me some of that
padding and be quick about it.” If my job involved bouncing down
jagged rocks I would say “in view of those jagged rocks down there,
Ill have some of that padding, thank you very much.” But Susan,
Sally, Jane, this is a sofa. It is designed by clever scientists in
such a way as to shield the unprotected user from the risk of skin
abrasions, serious head trauma, and, of course... [drops behind
sofa, then sticks head out] Daleks. Trust me girls, trust me on
this one: you do not need padding to tackle upholstery. So please -
once and for all, tell me why on Earth you would want me to sit on
one of these?
Susan: Because, if you pressed it firmly against your bottom, it
might stop you talking!