Aren’t we better off at the hands of our enemies?

PD's Blog ^ | 9/12/2009 | PD90

[FourPeas]

Hello there.

For every post, I need an insperation. This time, it was a song.

I usually wait for the right mood, that itching that makes you start tapping away at your keyboard like hell was loose on earth and only your words could save the world from going up in flames. I’m not going to argue that hell exists or not, I –as an atheist– have done quite a lot of that already on the net; of course I’d be dead in a blink if I revealed that in real life. What I mean is that you have to wait for the moment words wait to pour out from your mind, onto a paper, keyboard, or out your mouth. It’s like the times you get so mad that you can’t close your mouth to stop the flow of words that are coming out. Even though some small voice in a corner of your mind whimpers that you’ll be sorry of what you’ll be saying, you don’t care. You let it come. You let your heart speak. You don’t let your mind filter the words, blunt them, shape them, change them. You let them, sometimes sharp and hurtful, but always true, pour out. In case you are hiding beneath layers that are made to change your words so they would be pleasing to everyone like me, though, things are different for you. You have to always hide. You have to always keep your words to yourself in case they hurt someone. When you make a blog just to say what you want to say, and you receive such wonderful, kind, sweet, flattering, heartening, spirits-raising, heart-fluttering, stomach-cherning, tearjerking, brilliant comments that make you shed hidden tears of happiness, though, you change. Because they say things that you always wished you were. They assign adjectives to you that you had always dreamed of. You hang your head, and cry, because you are too happy. You are so happy of your dreams come true. You are so happy that after a whole life of being treated like a child, being guided, being pittied, not being listened to, and being dismissed at one glance, you are finally getting somewhere. You realize people call you things that you wanted to assume you were, but never felt bold enough to say you were. They like you. They like you like you like them. They listen. They read. They understand. After years and years of being in hell, you have found your way to heaven, and why shouldn’t you shed tears of happiness, of relief? Why shouldn’t you say that you are the happiest one has ever been? You are. As long as you are with those who understand you, you are. It is not, then, a sin to wish that things would never end in the way they already are. It is not a sin, then, to secretly fear that once everyone gets what he/she wants, or everyone fails, all the ropes tying you to those who understand you will be cut. No, it’s not a sin. It’s a fear, one constantly buzzing and annoying in the back of your mind, like a kind of fear every other person does.

Well, I’m sorry. I got off the main point and started ranting like I always do. You know, I’m so happy at finally having a listener that it’s like finding a friend after years of confinement, of loneliness. You want to tell them of all you have found out in your time alone, tell them of every last drop of your memories and experiences. It’s like the way you want to just pour your whole mind out, and let them judge you. Let them choose you. Let them talk to you and listen to them, like they have done for you. Give them what you deserve and do for them what others have failed to do for you. It’s like a father that vows to do what his father hasn’t done for him for his child. I know the feeling now. Even though I will never agree to becoming a father, I know it now. Even though this quote always comes back to me that “We say we are different than our fathers, but we end up following in their footsteps.” and even though I do not remember who this is actually from, if I ever get a child, I can remember what I thought when I was an innocent child. I can remember when I was leaving my teens behind, I used to feel the same, think the same. I can remember what I used to think at times like this. And yet again, I’m off the real point.

You know, there are these people that say, “Ahoy! Lookie lookie! There are these enemies, mainly US and UK and Israel, that are governed by jues anyway [and you know that jues oppose God, no need for me to say that *grins sarcastically*] that want Islam to parish! [awww!] They want our country to be torn into shreds! [I wonder why?] They want our people to not ever be happy! [How do you know?]” Let me tell you. Will Ahmadinejad and Mousavi make much of a difference for US’ government in the long run, other than the fact that one would listen and one would not? Would the fact that people’s votes are changed and the government is a coup make a difference to anyone outside of Iran, who is only looking for his own gain? Who are you talking for? Who are those enemies in your illusions? And let me ask you a question that would make your mind boggle for hours. How do you know that we won’t be better off with our enemies than we already are?

They keep telling us to stick to Islam. They keep telling us to believe in God. They keep telling us that for the sake of Islam, we should hold together. Well excuse me, it’s like telling someone that for the sake of my place in the eyes of neighbors, do not break our engagement. What the hell, I’m disappointed and I should show my disappointment, or you’ll go on disappointing me for all you’re worth forever. It’s what mutual trust is founded on. If you don’t seek mutual trust, well, that’s an intirely different matter, no need to resort to Islam and shutting down offices and killing people and then speaking all innocent about it. Say so openly, and get your answers openly. Don’t hide behind a false veil of saint-like innocence and Islamic nonsense. Are you afraid of revealing your true self? In that case, if I was you, I’d rather go and sulk in a corner than have the hopes of a whole country depended on me, because you fear yourself. You fear your true self.

The song I was talking about was a song that kept saying that:

“I’m not saying who is good or who is bad, But we should stick together because our unity makes our enemies sad.”

That was a rough translation of the lyrics, and that was what actually gave me the final straw to write. Stick together for the sake of making our enemies sad? It’s not like we wanted to make our enemies happy, even if we think, for a moment, that breaking our unity bennefits anyone. It was not us. It was the government. It was the leader.

If anyone who thinks they would bennefit from all this mayhem is reading this, let me raise his hand and say, at the hands of this man, we would suffer less, because he would give us a part of what he gains at our expense. Right now, though, we are the tool, and our share is zero, like a broken love that gave you pleasure at a time and now you suckle the pleasant sensations its memories offer like a thirsty child needing more, while never remembering the lover that gave the memories to you in the first place.

[FourPeas]

I came across PD just after the last Iranian election. He's an interesting young man, and one whose view I see expressed by more and more young Iranians.