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Advice needed from fellow FReeper Military parents/service members/veterans
Me

Posted on 09/01/2009 4:12:50 AM PDT by Grumpybutt

Since we're new to the "military life", I have no idea what to do about a certain situation with one of our sons.

Long story short, our Airman currently serving in Iraq married a fellow service woman (against our warnings and wishes of course) shortly before he deployed. We do not know the girl personally, and have only spoken with her via telephone a few times.

Well things didn't last long and now they are "separated" beyond just his deployment. Typical case of 20 year olds "he said/did, she said/did" - and he's kicking himself in the butt for not listening to everyone's concerns beforehand.

I guess his hopes were high, or he was completely manipulated (my guess) before he left and he changed all of his paperwork to make her power of attorney and beneficiary.

Before he left, he got a ticket for improper passing. She was supposed to take care of the ticket - she didn't. He now has a warrant out for his arrest in the state of his home base and now the Texas is revoking his driver license here because of it.

We were on the phone yesterday trying to get it all sorted out and pay the ticket for him so that he's not arrested when he comes home next month. But because she has power of attorney, we can't do anything.

When we spoke with him yesterday, he was going someplace to get a new p.o.a. However, when he called his bank (his own personal account separate from her), his passwords have been changed and he has been restricted from getting any information on his balance, etc. He had to get his commander involved.

As you can imagine, we are FURIOUS. The last communication I received from him last night was that he would have to go through legal.

So, my question is, who do we talk to on our end or can we? It seems to me that because she's also in the Air Force, that something can be done, but I don't know for sure.

We told him yesterday that he needs to tell his commander everything so that he can contact whoever her commander is so hopefully he can at least get his property back and his money.


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We don't know what to do to help him so I'm asking fellow FReepers for any advice on this situation.
1 posted on 09/01/2009 4:12:50 AM PDT by Grumpybutt
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To: Grumpybutt

Annulment? Court order freezing the “community property?”


2 posted on 09/01/2009 4:36:01 AM PDT by Bulldawg Fan (Victory is the last thing Murtha and his fellow Defeatists want.)
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To: Grumpybutt

I’ve been out a while but I wouldn’t place a whole lot of emphasis on the Commander. Their job is to keep their unit ready to do the mission. (translated - whats good for unit may not be good for your son)

He can try his First Sergeant or senior enlisted advisor. He should probably start by going to one of the more senior enlisted in his unit for guidance. There area whole host of services he can go to without making it official by going to his commander.

You should be able to retain a lawyer for him as it sounds like he’ll need it. Get their advice. Sounds like the first step is to revoke that power of attorney.


3 posted on 09/01/2009 4:36:28 AM PDT by driftdiver (I could eat it raw, but why do that when I have a fire.)
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To: Grumpybutt

Don’t worry about a thing. Just have him go straight to the police department as soon as he gets home and get it straightened out. After that, have him go to JAG and get legal advice.

Honestly, if his CO is involved, he may already be clearing it up.

Chalk it up as a learning experience, and tell him to BE MORE CAREFUL! ...Then laugh it off over Thanksgiving dinner. :)

God Bless


4 posted on 09/01/2009 4:36:37 AM PDT by camp_steveo
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To: Grumpybutt
I am retired USAF and AM NOT a lawyer nor a “Barracks Lawyer.”

Your son MUST talk to his Commander IMMEDIATELY and get the local JAG/Legal Office involved ASAP!

It seems there is a General Power of Attorney to the girl and she can keep up the damage until it is revoked and you will not be able to help much as you are now on the sidelines.

He MUST get the base legal counsel involved with his Commander NOW!

I had command of about 164 troops and that was what I did when they screwed up, but it must be done quickly to avert more damage.

Good luck and God bless.

5 posted on 09/01/2009 4:39:40 AM PDT by OldMissileer (Atlas, Titan, Minuteman, PK. Winners of the Cold War)
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To: OldMissileer

Probably good advice but depends on his commander.

A friend of mine was given an article 15 because his father bounced a check on a joint account.


6 posted on 09/01/2009 4:43:14 AM PDT by driftdiver (I could eat it raw, but why do that when I have a fire.)
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To: Grumpybutt

Keep us informed as you can and thank him for his service to his Country.


7 posted on 09/01/2009 4:46:42 AM PDT by GregB (let me be the first to congratulate President Palin on becoming President Of The U. S.)
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To: driftdiver
I’ve been out a while but I wouldn’t place a whole lot of emphasis on the Commander. Their job is to keep their unit ready to do the mission. (translated - whats good for unit may not be good for your son)

As a commander a person is charged with the welfare of their troops, to include personal problems, as well as mission accomplishment/readiness.

I knew a few who were totally oblivious to any of their troops needs and were very poor examples of leaders as well as human beings.

The Commanders/leaders that were, and still are, most effective take care of their troops in All aspects. They realize that even though they are in the military their troops are still people and not automatons and have foibles like everyone else.

8 posted on 09/01/2009 4:47:16 AM PDT by OldMissileer (Atlas, Titan, Minuteman, PK. Winners of the Cold War)
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To: Grumpybutt
Go see JAG.

There's not a whole heck of a lot you can do, though. You can revoke the Power of Attorney, but that requires filing the revocation at the county courthouse AND mailing a copy every place the (ex?)-wife might take the Power of Attorney. Most establishments in military towns assume the PoA is valid because they see so many.

The key problem is that general PoAs are not generally written to give authority to someone you don't trust. Someone can really hose you with a general PoA - and yet, in the military, we encourage Soldiers to get them. A lot of Soldiers get ripped off by gals who prey on them.

9 posted on 09/01/2009 4:48:40 AM PDT by jude24
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To: OldMissileer

Sounds like you were a good commander.

Me, I got chewed out for reporting obscene phone calls being made to my wife by someone in the unit. That was after showing him the caller id.


10 posted on 09/01/2009 4:49:30 AM PDT by driftdiver (I could eat it raw, but why do that when I have a fire.)
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To: Grumpybutt

POA’s can only be revoked in writing. If the AIF (Attorney in Fact, this is the person granted the right to sign) is legally served with the revocation then further usage on her part is illegal.

Your son’s money is gone. When the AIF acts on behalf of the grantor (the person granting the POA to the AIF) it is legally as if the grantor acted himself.

Your son needs a lawyer, now, right now. This is going to be long and difficult to straighten out with your son’s record a real mess for years to come.

Texas didn’t revoke his license and issue the warrent without notification to your son. If he ignored these, it is not a good sign of his responsibility. If he can prove he didn’t get them, then he has some recourse with the state to clear this part of his record.

If he is as passiive, indifferent and irresponsible as you make him out to be, this ordeal will become even worse, regardless of how much you try to do it for him.


11 posted on 09/01/2009 4:52:28 AM PDT by VA Voter
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To: OldMissileer

12 year Navy guy here ... that not only is BEST advice, it is really the only viable solution. To ignore it, or try and put it on hold will only make matters worse.

I hate power of attorneys, and although it is a way of life of military people that are forever either coming off deployment or headed to deploy, I shudddered every time I signed one of those things.

Contact the BASE Legal dept. ASAP. NO, forget ASAP, do it yesterday.


12 posted on 09/01/2009 4:53:49 AM PDT by HiramQuick (work harder ... welfare recipients depend on you!)
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To: camp_steveo

“Learning experience” indeed! Thank you for your kind words. Yes, hopefully we’ll be able to “laugh it off” over Thanksgiving.


13 posted on 09/01/2009 4:54:32 AM PDT by Grumpybutt (Common Sense - where has it gone?)
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To: VA Voter

We received the warrant notice several months ago and sent it to him and her. She assured us she would go pay the ticket because she “forgot” to pay it earlier.

We received revocation notice yesterday - that’s how we figured out she didn’t take care of the ticket and the warrant. Both entities sent the notices to the address on his d.l.


14 posted on 09/01/2009 5:01:52 AM PDT by Grumpybutt (Common Sense - where has it gone?)
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To: driftdiver
Sounds like you were a good commander.

Me, I got chewed out for reporting obscene phone calls being made to my wife by someone in the unit. That was after showing him the caller id.

Thank you. I tried to do well and I know there were many better than me. We broke a few records (good ones) while I was there and even though I have been retired a while I am proud to still have many of my old troops hunt me down and call or e-mail me to just talk and catch up. I know very few leaders who have that honor and I really get an ego boost when I hear from one of my troops.

It is a shame that your CC was so screwed up he had to get mad at the aggrieved party. He probably just did not want to be bothered with stuff like that because they could lead to problems that his superiors may hear about and he thought it would affect his career in the negative. Many so-called leaders are like that.

15 posted on 09/01/2009 5:07:33 AM PDT by OldMissileer (Atlas, Titan, Minuteman, PK. Winners of the Cold War)
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To: jude24
The key problem is that general PoAs are not generally written to give authority to someone you don't trust. Someone can really hose you with a general PoA - and yet, in the military, we encourage Soldiers to get them. A lot of Soldiers get ripped off by gals who prey on them.

General PoAs are two-edged swords.

When my troops would have to travel for long periods I/we always recommended very limited PoAs that encompassed some basic needs and requirements so someone at home could perform a few needed services in the name of my troop.

Our local Legal Office frowned on General PoAs, but this was a few years ago and things may have changed.

16 posted on 09/01/2009 5:14:15 AM PDT by OldMissileer (Atlas, Titan, Minuteman, PK. Winners of the Cold War)
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To: Grumpybutt
First have him draft an new power of attorney revoking the old on and have yourself made the “attorney”. Have his JAG officer oversee the operation. Hire a lawyer wherever he had the ticket and get him.her to go in a talk to the Judge or referee about it. - or do it your self. The woman may be in violation of several statues. POA’s are revoked all the time and will not stand. Good luck, the little head can be a giant pain.
17 posted on 09/01/2009 5:16:27 AM PDT by mad_as_he$$ (Nemo me impune lacessit The law will be followed, dammit!)
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To: mad_as_he$$

Thank you for the advice. And, uh, you are very correct with your last statement.


18 posted on 09/01/2009 5:30:41 AM PDT by Grumpybutt (Common Sense - where has it gone?)
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To: Grumpybutt

1. Have him see a lawyer and a JOG
2. Revoke the power of attorney ASAP
3. Get home
4. Get a divorce

The good news at 21 years of age, there are no real assets and no kids so this bad decision will have no real long term consequences and will be a great education to know when you really found the right woman to marry!


19 posted on 09/01/2009 5:36:07 AM PDT by 2banana (My common ground with terrorists - they want to die for islam and we want to kill them)
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To: Grumpybutt
He needs to contact his base legal office. The judge might show some leniency if he sends the court a letter from his commander stating that he was deployed and unable to attend the procedings. The longer he puts it off, the worse the consequences will be. It can ruin his military career and result in jail time.

I dealt with several cases in which the military member ignored legal actions because they thought that they wouldn't be returning to that state until after the statute of limitations ran out. There were two problems with that: One - statute of limitations is suspended once they leave the state and then restarts after they come back. Two - the state may contact the military and the military can press charges for "conduct unbecoming". I've seen cases where the military sent guys back to the state that made the complaint to face the charges. They end up with the state charges against them, plus a federal conviction for conduct unbecoming.

Your son can't really blame his wife for this. He should have taken care of it himself, either before he deployed or by sending in the fine after he deployed.

20 posted on 09/01/2009 5:47:57 AM PDT by mbynack (Retired USAF SMSgt)
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