I have only been married for two years.
Not really an experianced person on these matters.
but I can tell you what I noticed that really helps. A short memory on negative/stress induced comments. Yes there are things that have to be worked out. but you can’t take any anger or foolish comments from one day into the next day. The credit goes to my wife for being upset at 6pm and then everything is perfectly cool by 8.
That’s good and I’m glad to hear it. And I wouldn’t want to say anything specific about you and your family. I can only say what I’ve found out elsewhere and it may not apply to you (or anyone else, either). But, there are some people who do have a tendency to suppress things that bother them, and they actually do want to be “okay” on things, but they let an underlying thing (or two or three and so on) build up over a period of time and then it explodes. I only say that because I remember one person telling me that this is how it happens with her. She pretty much admitted to putting those kinds of things away quickly and everything was back to normal. But, she also admitted to holding it in and ignoring it for long periods of time until a certain number of these things accumulated, and then it was “boom”...
But, again, that’s just something that one person said...