Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

This Morning I Saved a Baby from an Angry Squirrel
Creme de la mode ^ | July 24, 2009 | Judi

Posted on 07/25/2009 10:49:06 PM PDT by smokingfrog

So, I’m walking Charlie [the dog] this morning. It’s not even 10 am and already it’s 90 degrees. I want to die but I can’t complain too much because my dog is wearing a gigantic fur coat in this weather. By all accounts, he should be in an igloo somewhere so I walk in sweaty silence, awash in dog-owner guilt.

We round the corner near our house and I see a woman in the street, close to the sidewalk, waving frantically at the back of a parked car. At first, I think she’s just shooing a bee very DRAMATICALLY but then I see the baby stroller behind her and the look of panic on her face. She sees me and calls out, “I’m being attacked by a squirrel.” She tells me the squirrel’s been following them and actually tried to jump onto the stroller. And then she asks, “Can I please borrow your dog?”

I take a step forward and then I see it. She’s right. There’s a squirrel and he is NOT backing down. He’s crouched under the back of the car like a jungle cat, ready to pounce. Every time the woman took a step back, the squirrel advanced.

I look down at Charlie, unsure of how helpful he’ll be in this situation. If the situation had called for Lying Down, my dog would be on it.

If the situation went to the tune of Do Nothing, I would volunteer him in a heartbeat. But barking? No. Squirrel-chasing? Yeah, no. Unlike every other dog in America, Charlie could care less about squirrels. He’s more of a rabbit person (we have a ton of rogue rabbits in my Chicago neighborhood.)

So, I’m standing there, regretting not getting a psychotic lab, who would’ve been annoying in every other facet of my life but GREAT in this one specific scenario, when Charlie jumps into action. He runs at the squirrel, who flees for like a second. The squirrel tries another direction, STILL ADVANCING ON THE STROLLER, and Charlie, my hero, blocks his path.

This squirrel will NOT give up. It runs up a tree and I think we’ve got it on the ropes so I turn to the woman and tell her she should take the baby and keep walking. “We’ll hold him off.” I actually said that. “We’ll hold him off.” Who am I, John Wayne? And also, I’d like to point out the absurdity of my 60 lb dog and my full-bodied human self, roughly 210 pounds of mammal force, who stood between this baby and this squirrel and yet if the squirrel had charged, I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WOULD’VE DONE. Thrown Charlie at it? Thrown my arms out and waved, screeching? Seriously, what do you do?

We start walking and the squirrel FOLLOWS US. Except it’s taken to the trees, a standard guerilla warfare tactic in the war of squirrel versus baby. And it’s making this grunting noise. Was it in heat? Was it trying to mate with the stroller? Was it rabid? Now the woman and her baby and me and Charlie are speed-walking down this street and the squirrel is, well, he’s GAINING on us. I have never been hunted by an animal before and let me tell you something- it does not feel GOOD.

Finally, the woman reaches her house, calls out “thank you” and whisks her baby inside faster than I could blink. I don’t blame her because the squirrel climbs up the tree across from her house and is staring after them. I would’ve taken a picture of it but I did not want to incur its wrath. This was the Sean Penn of squirrels and I was the paparazzi. Who knows what he would do to my phone?

Charlie and I keep walking and the squirrel stays behind, laying in wait in front of the woman’s house. I feel a flash of pity for them, holed up in there while a monster animal stakes them out, just waiting for them to slip up so he could have that stroller all to himself. Seriously, what do you do against an overly aggressive squirrel? So far Google has not been helpful in this question, which is kind of ridiculous. I mean, squirrels are EVERYWHERE.

What if they’re planning a takeover? HOW DO WE TAKE THEM DOWN?

*Or, ok, so my dog did. But I’d like to think I sent him some kind of telepathic signal to defend us all.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: banglist; dogs
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-56 last
To: Salamander

Wow, that’s a lot of provender.

Enough to attract wild boars, come to think of it.


41 posted on 07/26/2009 8:08:20 AM PDT by sinanju
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 40 | View Replies]

To: smokingfrog

This story had nothing to do with the keyword Banglist


42 posted on 07/26/2009 8:22:50 AM PDT by BorisTheBulletDodger (Bang!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sinanju
Luckily, we have no wild boars here but if I did, I also have a bunch of these dogs.

I think I'm covered...:)

43 posted on 07/26/2009 11:01:54 AM PDT by Salamander (Cursed with Second Sight.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 41 | View Replies]

To: Salamander

“IT’S BACON!!!

44 posted on 07/26/2009 11:04:55 AM PDT by RichInOC (No! BAD Rich! (What'd I say?))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 43 | View Replies]

To: RichInOC

ROFLMAO!

[good one]....;D


45 posted on 07/26/2009 11:09:30 AM PDT by Salamander (Cursed with Second Sight.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 44 | View Replies]

To: sinanju

Squirrels ARE berserk, just by nature....;-D


46 posted on 07/26/2009 11:11:01 AM PDT by Salamander (Cursed with Second Sight.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 38 | View Replies]

To: smokingfrog

Oh, good grief! This story is just nuts!


47 posted on 07/26/2009 11:13:13 AM PDT by 50cal Smokepole (Effective gun control involves effective recoil management)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: jwparkerjr

That’s because squirrels are so small, they rarely survive being bitten by a rabid animal and die in the attack. That’s my hypothesis anyway.


48 posted on 07/26/2009 11:14:57 AM PDT by HamiltonJay
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: smokingfrog
Photograph of the kid


49 posted on 07/26/2009 11:17:42 AM PDT by steveo
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: HamiltonJay

You’re exactly right.

Small mammals don’t often survive the initial attack to actually become rabid.

Even so: animals with furious (aggressive - as opposed to dumb rabies where animals become lethargic, and dopey)) rabies wouldn’t advance/retreat/advance/retreat.. they’d attack. Period. Squirrels can be very bossy anyway :)

I’ve had calls where I’ve pried squirrels off the sidewalls of tires or other inanimate objects, attacking them - but they didn’t have rabies, they had distemper, which is far more common in small mammals, and has symptoms that are often confused with rabies.

I’d say this squirrel was hand fed by well-meaning humans, lost all fear, and now has become an (albeit healthy) nuisance of the more dangerous variety - dependent upon people.

I’m a nuisance wildlife operator. I’ve seen the results of people feeding the cute little wild animals often enough.. sad, but funny article anyway. Glad baby wasn’t hurt.


50 posted on 07/26/2009 1:58:12 PM PDT by Dominnae (Sorry, I cannot support the new president. I am way too busy supporting his freeloaders!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 48 | View Replies]

To: BorisTheBulletDodger

A high quality air gun is excellent for rodent control, and you can use it in your back yard or other places where a regular firearm would not be allowed. I know air guns don’t actually go bang, but what the heck.


51 posted on 07/26/2009 2:04:53 PM PDT by smokingfrog (No man's life, liberty or property is safe while the legislature is in session. I AM JIM THOMPSON)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 42 | View Replies]

To: Tijeras_Slim

Thats a great story. LOL!


52 posted on 07/26/2009 2:25:26 PM PDT by smokingfrog (No man's life, liberty or property is safe while the legislature is in session. I AM JIM THOMPSON)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 36 | View Replies]

To: BunnySlippers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkSFeWNAOV0


53 posted on 07/26/2009 2:31:37 PM PDT by smokingfrog (No man's life, liberty or property is safe while the legislature is in session. I AM JIM THOMPSON)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: Dominnae

After all, where does the expression ‘getting squirrelly’ come from?


54 posted on 07/26/2009 2:32:27 PM PDT by 9YearLurker
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 50 | View Replies]

To: SIDENET
Squirrel!!



55 posted on 07/26/2009 8:46:17 PM PDT by EdReform (The right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed *NRA*JPFO*SAF*GOA*SAS*CCRKBA)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 29 | View Replies]

To: smokingfrog

56 posted on 07/26/2009 8:50:12 PM PDT by Future Snake Eater ("Get out of the boat and walk on the water with us!”--Sen. Joe Biden)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-56 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson