Posted on 07/07/2009 12:41:27 PM PDT by marthemaria
Prayers for you, your mom, and your family.
I was well when she died but still the guilt of putting her through all this about five years ago
Maybe this is my curse
You'll never forget your mom, of course, and will miss her until the day you leave this earth. But you should cry less and be able to function more easily as time passes. If that doesn't happen, it is time to seek out a grief counselor or support group.
It sounds like you might need some help grieving in a more productive manner. One that allows you to feel, accept and move on. There is a lot of help out there, individual grief counseling, and groups. Please reach out. Your mother loved you very much and would want you to find peace.
You are not cursed. God did not take your mother to punish you for past mistakes. These types of thoughts are destructive to healthy grieving. Please do find someone to help. Begin with hospitals or hospice groups. Often their services are free.
You are in my prayers.
Prayers for confort and peace.
Condolences over passing of your mother.
THERE IS NO DEATH - In one sense there is no death. The life of a soul on earth lasts beyond their departure. You will always feel that life touching yours, that voice speaking to you, that spirit looking out of other eyes, talking to you in the familiar things they touched, worked with, loved as familiar friends. They live on in your life and in the lives of others that knew them.
Angelo Patri
My wife lost her mom and she was in serious grief for a long time. Se said that our 5 year old, then 3 years old, saved her life, keeping things into perspective and injecting joy in the grief filled days which kept her upright. If you have children keep them into perspective. If you don’t, go to church and get into a grief support group. This intense grief can last around 2 years, you need help or at least someone to talk to.
My wife lost her mom and she was in serious grief for a long time. Se said that our 5 year old, then 3 years old, saved her life, keeping things into perspective and injecting joy in the grief filled days which kept her upright. If you have children keep them into perspective. If you don’t, go to church and get into a grief support group. This intense grief can last around 2 years, you need help or at least someone to talk to.
Words at a time like this are not enough. Here’s a hug. ((()))
Blessings.
All of us hurt our parents, we cannot help it as it is part of becoming adult. Philosophically, one could say that this is a debt that we must pay to our children by tolerating & forgiving their actions against us, their parents.
However, in this case, your 'guilt' is a burden that you cannot and need not tolerate. There is only one person to whom you could make amends and she is now gone. I would wager that you know inside that she had long since forgiven you but that you have not yet forgiven YOURSELF. I firmly believe, as obviously do other respondents, that your guilt is a burden you need to address - remember those in Heaven take no pleasure in your guilt, they only desire your happiness. God Bless you and yours, always!
My dear Mother passed away 13 years ago at the age of 52, and I was devastated for weeks, barely able to function. Then one day I looked at my own child, who was four at the time, and realized that the last thing I want, when I die someday, is for her to be in the shape I was in. Since that day every time I think of Mom I smile ... because I know that's what she would want.
Neighbor, there is no set time or expiration for grief- it varies so much from one person to another that there is no right or wrong period, just whatever applies to you.
As much as I miss both of my parents, they were so worn down by the time they went that I didn’t grieve- just hurt.
My first wife? Grieved for years, thought it was well behind me long ago, then I remembered one little thing I’d forgotten... and it came back, for a while.
It will eventually pass, regardless- but it will seem a thousand eternities, no matter what the count of weeks or months or years proves to be.
My kind regards to you.
Ping. We need some prayer warriors on this thread.
I’m so very sorry for your loss...there’s SUCH good advice on this thread.
Please pray. PLEASE take care of yourself...and if you have kids, TAKE CARE OF THEM...
We’re all going to pray that God will help you deal with your loss...HE WILL. Never EVER doubt that...
I’m so sorry. Prayers on the way. God bless.
I know how difficult this is, and I hope you find some comfort soon. It will pass, and I know you will find more joy than pain in her memory. Just give it time. You have my prayers.
You have FReepmail.
I am so sorry for your loss. My mom lived with us for two years, in and out of hospice in that time. She died at home with us at her side. For months I could not spend more than an hour or so away from home without rushing back......as I had lived like that for two years. I would rush home to an empty house. I decided to change things......started going to mass on Monday nights....a healing mass. After a year of attending the masses, I didn’t know the exact date I recovered, but I had. God is with you.
Meanwhile, lots of prayers for you as you deal with your grief.
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