Dear Hunter

If I could talk to Hunter S. Thompson, if he would have talked to me...

I would have asked him about some things.

Dear Hunter: Hope you’re doing well.

I know you worked hard to elect George McGovern through your writing. I’m sure you had the best intentions for your country against the hated Richard Nixon. I know you despised him but hate is a destructive force within a man. Being quite thoroughly hated for my opinions and still having many attempts to quash me, I understand hate and the relatively new phenomenon of political correctness (a much hated term but an accurate one). Now some on the far left would even kill me and others who think like me. It is indeed a world of fear and loathing. I wonder about many things that make up our existence and learn what I can absorb about those who enjoy running our lives. Yes sir, I have been thoroughly scolded for believing as I do. Life’s a bitch and there are a whole lot of them bitches out there, Hunter. There’s a whole lot of invective in store for anyone who thinks differently. One has to adopt as thick of a scaly, hardened, and impenetrable skin as you did.

I believe you’ve been there a time or two. Your time on staff for The Rolling Stone offers some glimpse as the editorial board still do when they publish more screed, more fear, more loathing. Our very busy little government overseers require constant monitoring, as I’m sure you would agree if you were still with us. They are a busy lot indeed and love their power, relish their positions, and they must enjoy the misery they can cause. Don’t they? Now, truly, don’t they enjoy their role as masters? Truly, be honest—don’t they seem to enjoy screwing us? They sure do seem to very much enjoy it and all its smarmy, big, little, dictatorial tenants. Why do people do the things they do?

I would like to ask you about irony. Is there an irony that you would have poured your heart into George’s campaign and later pull for every democratic candidate? You might ask, whatever are you talking about and it is as likely you would walk away from me. I am like so much dust off your shoes than anyone who is important enough for you to talk to—could that be about right? I know it is. If you do stay with me for another minute, you would have probably very quickly thought, what in the hell is this ass-hole talking about and why is he still talking? Irony is the operative word and form of energy here. Irony is the cruel disclosure, an un-hoaxing of the great hoax millions along with the owners of Progressive Insurance, Ben and Jerry’s and perhaps the editorial board at the Stone have not seen in their clearest reality, their most focused vision. Allow me to elucidate if you will since you’re dead.

Think back with me for a moment, Hunter. You enjoyed your guns and fired them often. I’ll return to this little item. Think back to Viet Nam. What were we doing? By whose bidding were we doing it? Why were we in a war with Communist North Viet Nam? Were we asked by any South Vietnamese to help? Could be, maybe not, maybe a little… don’t know, but we were there and losing men and some women for what many thought was a just cause. Many Vietnamese people have become Americans and live here now. Why would they do that? It could be that they enjoy the last vestiges of a free society. Yes, we’re possibly in the last throes. I’ll return to subject number two later as well. A Democratic President got us there and a Republican President got us out. Does anyone wonder why the fuss in the first place? Why would millions of people not want to be Communist? Would having to be a Communist be something you would have liked or enjoyed? I wonder how familiar you (are) were with the techniques employed by the Communist Party to control people. I know you wouldn’t have liked it much. Not many do except the masters in government. The masters like it pretty well because the salary and benefits package is the best—especially in the country. I suppose the many Vietnamese who wanted something different in their own birthplace weren’t worth a fight. Oh, well, gone are the days.

The masters who control a country always have the best benefits in the whole gosh-darned country, don’t they? Masters always take what they want, don’t they? You did drugs of your choosing, enjoyed consuming adult beverages by the cardboard case, and smoked like a chimney. Keep those personal choices in mind as we proceed and take a walk down the lane near your cabin. I wonder what you’re thinking, Hunter. I wonder if there was a moment of clarity some time along the way but you may have felt that expressing different ideas may have been too dangerous for you to voice publicly. After all, you did have to sell your writing. You and we can call it Gonzo journalism, brilliant or call it crap—you had an audience to please, didn’t you? It didn’t matter a wit, had to entertain and at times incite action—or not so much.

Hunter, I believe you wanted freedom and found the state of the country farcical as you investigated the American dream in your way. I suspect you wanted to freely buy any drug you wanted. You knew the imposition of government laws raised the bar of risk for you but still you took that risk. I’m happy that you were not caught and prosecuted. Tens of thousands have been and are in our prisons. I wonder was that your main issue—from a personal point of view?

The reason I ask is that most of the laws, regulations, and prohibitive taxation for certain things the government overseers think unhealthy have been promulgated and enforced by Democrats. The Democratic Party is a body of people who seek to control and that doesn’t seem to square with most of your ideas. The Republican Party has not been the standard-bearer of freedom either but to many, it is the lesser of the evil choices we have. Think with me for a moment, Hunter, as we near the end of your well-traveled lane here… Hunter, where does it come from these days in America that:

You can’t do this and you can’t do that.

You can’t do anything we say you can’t.

You must do what we say you’ll do.

Pay this now, low ass-hole—licenses, “permits,” fees and fines.

No smoking, you filthy son-of-a-b*tch.

Wear seatbelts.

You pay the taxes.

Go to government schools.

Join to pay a union, lowly person not to be trusted with a vote in this instance.

Be sure to vote for me though as I look out for you and know what’s best.

Don’t bring religion into any public forum—unless you’re Muslim.

Don’t speak certain opinions or feelings, lest you offend.

Don’t buy or own any guns!

Do what you’re told, shut-up, be quiet, sit down, or disappear.

Be what we say you’ll be.

Fall behind the line whitey (except us government white a**-holes).

Don’t plant this.

Don’t cut that tree.

Don’t use coal.

Don’t use your land for what you want.

Don’t drive big cars.

Don’t fly personal jets but you know who can. (She’s currently in Rome).

Don’t wear fur.

Don’t prescribe, doc.

Don’t marry anybody.

Don’t have too many kids.

Don’t eat meat.

Don’t drink milk.

Don’t use dairy.

Don’t eat fish.

Don’t hire him, hire him instead.

Hire her is better.

Promote him, not him.

Promote her is better.

Don’t listen to this.

Don’t write that.

Don’t f*cking breathe too much, human slime… and if you will,

Die as soon as you can.

It comes from our empowered left, Hunter where Something’s Happening Here and freedom is only what the masters allow. There you have it. Thanks for listening. Maybe all this is part of the reason you checked out. I don’t know but isn’t it ironic?

I do hope you’re doing well.

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