[Bertram3]

No matter what you order, the bartender serves you grog.

When you ask what “grog” is, you get told “Har.”

You get ridiculed in aerobics class for not knowing how to dance the hornpipe.

When you complain about a spot on the tablecloth, the waiter puts a big “X” on it.

[dblshot]

I was on a Coast Guard Cutter that pulled into Ocho Rios Jamaica for a mid patrol break. We berthed right behind a cruise liner. an old George Wilson looking guy and his wife walked back an he read out load “U.S Coast Guard” on our vessels side. Then he says. what's the Coast Guard doing in Jamaica?” I said, Pirate patrol sir.” He scoffs, “there aren't anymore pirates in the Caribbean.” So I smiled and said, “Works good don't it?” His wife nearly swallowed her tongue trying not to laugh.

[B-Chan]

The ghost of Wille Stargell can be seen roaming the decks with a baseball bat in hand

[SunkenCiv]

The pirate eyepatch is the usual result of having a hook hand and an occasional itch...

http://witty-jay.blogspot.com/2008/12/top-10-clues-that-your-cruise-ship-has.html