At last; the convenient truth..

26-Mar-2008 | Ron Pickrell

[pickrell]

The following Press Statement has just been released clarifying the "Sniper" incident. We presume that it will put this matter to rest.

"We had just returned from a covert mission in Cambodia, (for which the Senate secretly awarded me the Medal of Worth, with attached "S" device, given only for Scary missions), and were glad to be away from anywhere that would be seared into our memories, or into anywhere else."

{Warm, human chuckle}.

"What? No, I don't have the medal- I threw it over a fence somewhere a long time ago, in protest to certain right wingers trying to "out" me while I was undercover.

"Anyway, the Wing Commander of the plane came back and warned us about something. Since the propellors on the jet were so loud, naturally I couldn't quite make it out. But it sincerely sounded to me at the time like we would be "under sniper fire" as we went down from the plane into the waiting and cheering crowds of children.

"Realizing that they were all deaf children and so obviously couldn't hear all the gunfire, my heart naturally melted for them. I was obviously worried about their safety, especially since Bill had set this trip up and was heard earlier making long distance calls to someone about a "Special Contract", and "...minimizing collateral casualties..."

I just found out, moments ago, that what the Wing Commander was actually trying to warn us about back then, was that there was a terrible risk of sting-rays leaping out of the water, and that a woman had been killed while cleaning the outer marker only hours before.

Naturally memories like this can be confusing. As an example- I, myself, had thought that I had only 1,000 frequent flier miles earned from that trip- but when I later checked with the airlines while I was on the Senate Oversight Committee, their spokesman, while testifying, suddenly discovered that I had been the 47,318th passenger and so had the original 1,000 miles multiplied into 100,000 miles. It's a secret program the airlines tried out.

What? No, I don't think the airlines will furnish any documentation on that. It's safely past the statute of lim- uh, I mean, the program has long since been discontinued, and all of the records have been lost.

How can I know that? Well, I don't spend my time baking cookies, you know... I know when records have been completely lost.

So you can see that this is all just a misunderstanding, and it's time I get back to the business of the American people."

[Hegemony Cricket]

Or something like that...

[End Times Sentinel]

Any word on if the “magic hat” would muss her excellent hair?

[arthurus]

Finally something that could actually derail the Clintons candidacy and it is too bad for that. I really want to see Clintons make it to the convention in August. If they do then they will surely take it from Hussein and the resulting riots and recriminations will give the election to McCain and, it is to be hoped, many more Republican conservative Representatives and Senators. Hillary taking it away from Hussein may be the first break we get in the 90%+ Democrat voting rates of the black electorate. Were Hussein to come out on top in Denver the Clintonites will split between Hussein and McCain and whatever Green or Naderite candidates there are. We need to get both Democrat candidates to Denver intact.