Posted on 09/29/2007 5:57:39 PM PDT by Ge0ffrey
(LONDON) A decade-long rumor was confirmed today when it was announced that Hillary Clinton has insured her piano legs for $10 million with Lloyds of London.
Until yesterday the public had only known of Hillary’s piano legs through anecdotal evidence because no known pictures of Hillary in a dress exist. For example, in March 2006 Matthews of MSNBC’s Hardball called Hillary, “Dukakis in a dress,” and noted that she has better calves than former Democratic Presidential nominee Michael Dukakis.
Washington pundits speculate that Clinton has chosen this time to insure her legs because she expects Rudy Giuliani to emerge as her probable Republican rival in the Presidential race. Pictures of Rudy in a dress, taken when he appeared briefly in drag in Broadway’s Victor/Victoria, regularly circulate on the internet and show what a Hillary spokesperson calls, “a very shapely set of gams.”
Howard Dean, Chairman of the Democratic Party, expects Hillary to unveil her piano legs after she secures the Democratic nomination. He speculates that it will generate more buzz than when Hillary revealed her cleavage on the Senate floor this year in front of CSPAN cameras.
According to urbandictionary.com, a reference site widely used by urban hipsters, piano legs are “disproportionately thick calves and/or ankles on a woman with otherwise normal body weight.” It also cites the Democratic presidential frontrunner in its example of proper usage of the phrase: “No wonder Hillary Clinton always wears pant suits. She’s got a humongous set of piano legs.”
Although Lloyds used their press release to heavily promote Hanes® new Hiphugger-High™ support panty hose, a product targeting the aging baby boom generation, they seemed delighted to underwrite a set of legs as famous as Hillary’s. A spokesperson for the Clinton campaign would neither confirm nor deny Hillary’s possible endorsement of the new Hanes product.
Clinton joins company with Betty Grable and Marlene Dietrich, two notables with million dollar legs underwritten by Lloyds. However, all three fall far short of Mariah Carey who insured her legs for $1 billion last year before embarking on an advertising campaign for Gillette.
LOL! Wasn’t it Marlene Dietrich who insured her legs for millions many years ago. At least she had something worth insuring!
Actually, I think it was Betty Grable whose legs were insured. Right era, different actress.
EA
Oh, we are both right. I finally read the last paragraph of the article. :)
Oh, we are both right. I finally read the last paragraph of the article. :)
No pictures of this, please.
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