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WIPE OUT GLOBAL WARMING: CROW PROPOSES LIMITS ON TOILET PAPER - It's NOT satire
washingtonpost ^ | 4/23/07 | GeorgiaDawg32

Posted on 04/23/2007 2:49:29 AM PDT by GeorgiaDawg32

Crow (4/19, Springfield, Tenn.): I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: 3seashells; alliwannadodo; globalwarming; gorebalism; sherylcrow; stickyfingers; toiletpaper
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To: kb2614

MY = ME

Oops


21 posted on 04/23/2007 3:14:44 AM PDT by kb2614 (Hell hath no fury than a bureaucrat scorned)
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To: GeorgiaDawg32
How about using soft, luxurious cotton instead of scratchy old toilet paper? We could grow all the cotton we need on "plantations" in the Confederacy south. Of course, cotton is labor intensive, but we could round up a few million illegal aliens as cotton pickers and bale toters.
22 posted on 04/23/2007 3:15:40 AM PDT by T'wit (Visitors: you come here expecting a turkey shoot, and then you find out that you are the turkey.)
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To: GeorgiaDawg32

Just don’t take a dump.


23 posted on 04/23/2007 3:15:40 AM PDT by Right Wing Assault ("..this administration is planning a 'Right Wing Assault' on values and ideals.." - John Kerry)
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To: GeorgiaDawg32
>> One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen.

The dingbat doesn't know that you can plant trees to replace the ones you use.

24 posted on 04/23/2007 3:16:52 AM PDT by T'wit (Visitors: you come here expecting a turkey shoot, and then you find out that you are the turkey.)
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To: GeorgiaDawg32
CROW PROPOSES LIMITS ON TOILET PAPER

I SAID NO SUCH THING!

25 posted on 04/23/2007 3:18:57 AM PDT by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: Lurker

26 posted on 04/23/2007 3:19:46 AM PDT by Tuba Guy (Charles Martel must be spinning in his grave !!)
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To: GeorgiaDawg32

I guess we should just ignore the fact that paper comes from trees that are planted just like any other crop. If we reduce the amount of paper use, tree farmers will reduce the number of acres planted.


27 posted on 04/23/2007 3:20:25 AM PDT by deaconjim (Because He lives...)
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To: GeorgiaDawg32
...I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting...

I don't know where she buys her toilet paper but mine comes on ROLLS, not squares.

28 posted on 04/23/2007 3:23:03 AM PDT by FReepaholic (This tagline could indicate global warming.)
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To: GeorgiaDawg32
we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit

Remind me to NOT shake hands with Ms. Crow.

On the other hand (heh), a "square" in roofing terms is 100 square feet - is that what she means?

That would be plenty for me (except that time I ate at Jack-in-the-box.... oh, never mind..)

29 posted on 04/23/2007 3:23:13 AM PDT by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: GeorgiaDawg32

Would anyone here like to shake hands with her?


30 posted on 04/23/2007 3:24:09 AM PDT by familyop (Essayons (has-been))
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To: Izzy Dunne

LOL! You were quicker with that line than I was.


31 posted on 04/23/2007 3:25:11 AM PDT by familyop (Essayons (has-been))
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To: GeorgiaDawg32

A grassroots program is called for. Please send all your corn cobs to Ms Crow. Make sure the corn is removed and the cob dried. Besides, they will work in the outhouse.


32 posted on 04/23/2007 3:26:43 AM PDT by tiger-one (The night has a thousand eyes)
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To: GeorgiaDawg32

Sheryl,

Think on how much paper we’d save if they’d stop printing the Washington Post.

Maybe you should bring that up with your next editorial meeting with them.


33 posted on 04/23/2007 3:27:12 AM PDT by MDspinboyredux
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To: GeorgiaDawg32

I read the article. I didn’t see the word “satire” anywhere. It must be there somewhere. People can’t really be this stupid can they???


34 posted on 04/23/2007 3:29:06 AM PDT by NewHampshireDuo (Earth - Taking care of itself since 4.6 billion BC)
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To: GeorgiaDawg32
Save The Planet -- BAN SNEEZING !!


35 posted on 04/23/2007 3:30:06 AM PDT by Tuba Guy (Charles Martel must be spinning in his grave !!)
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To: tiger-one

How about sending her your leftover squares?


36 posted on 04/23/2007 3:32:07 AM PDT by ConservativeMan55
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To: GeorgiaDawg32
One of the callers on Fox & FRiends just stated if she ever meet Crow she is definitely NOT going to shake her hand.
37 posted on 04/23/2007 3:32:33 AM PDT by mware (By all that you hold dear..Doing real on this good earth... I bid you stand! Men of the West!)
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To: GeorgiaDawg32
I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights,

What sort of "limitation" can you put on somebody, without "robbing" them of their "rights"?

Are you going to make them pay per sheet as they go into your bathroom?

Are you going to count the sheets before and after, and announce the "winner" at the end of the party?

What about women's needs? Do you realize, Ms. Krow, that three quarters of my restroom visits, I don't use ANY paper?
Doesn't that entitle me to a TP offset credit, so that I can take FOUR sheets on my next #2 visit?

38 posted on 04/23/2007 3:35:04 AM PDT by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: GeorgiaDawg32

Ok, I know this will sound dumb, but who is this Crow person? Must be a singer right?


39 posted on 04/23/2007 3:36:21 AM PDT by Inyo-Mono (If you don't want people to get your goat, don't tell them where it's tied.)
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To: Smokin' Joe

Mz. Crow:
Who the **** are you to tell ME how to clean myself?
In your “infinite wisdom” GRASSLANDS put more o2 into the air than trees.
Your pathetic elitism is matched only by your profound ignorance.
Go back to France.


40 posted on 04/23/2007 3:37:02 AM PDT by Shady
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