"I work in social services and am a fiction writer"
Sounds like it's time to write another book and forget about this one. I was wondering if this is a real story or just more fiction!
Be a realist and think about this. How can you change her to suit your model citizen... Not gonna happen.
Nope. I really do like her, and she has a troubled past, and our becoming close is important to her. She had a rough marriage she's now out of, and although I posted here in a kind of lighthearted mood, it really isn't funny when dealing with someone who's screwed up but has many of the qualities I really want in a woman, primarily intelligence (for the most part) and that hardest to find quality--someone who "gets" me. I'm pretty unconventional, and most women are either taken or can't handle one of the things that make me up (either my politics or what I do when I'm not at my fulltime job, which takes up a lot of time.)
I thank you and the other FReepers who gave a pretty overwhelming response here. It's fun to read the funny comments, but in fact, I am starting to get sad. SHe's a very good person, with a great mind, but I don't see how something this important can be just skipped over.