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What I'd Like To Hear The President Say
e-mail ^ | 11/09/06 | Unknown

Posted on 11/09/2006 9:16:46 AM PST by Froufrou

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans: As you all! know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is c omplete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq.. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war..

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France , or maybe China .

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil..

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin." Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America .! It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America . Thank you and good night. If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: argh

1 posted on 11/09/2006 9:16:48 AM PST by Froufrou
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To: Froufrou

I love it!


2 posted on 11/09/2006 9:20:24 AM PST by lesko
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To: Froufrou
Yeah, that one's been floating around cyberspace for a while. ....and a good one it is.

No "compassionate conservatism" or "Islam is the religion of peace" or "it's time for a kinder, gentler America" or "we have to win Islamic hearts and minds" or "the Minutemen are vigilantes" nonsense.

Refreshing.

3 posted on 11/09/2006 9:21:43 AM PST by Mr. Mojo
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To: Froufrou

Froufrou in 08!


4 posted on 11/09/2006 9:31:36 AM PST by Pete
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To: Pete; lesko; Mr. Mojo

The only thing wrong with it is that W is just the guy who could do it! If only he would, it would shut everyone the $%&@&$ up!


5 posted on 11/09/2006 9:56:08 AM PST by Froufrou
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To: Froufrou

You might as well spend you time playing Dungeons and Dragons if you are going to expect such behavior from the Presidency.


6 posted on 11/09/2006 10:23:30 AM PST by AdamSelene235 (Truth has become so rare and precious she is always attended to by a bodyguard of lies.)
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To: Froufrou

Canada is NOT on list #2, they have troops in Afghanistan dying for the war on terror.


7 posted on 11/09/2006 10:35:00 AM PST by CharlesWayneCT
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To: CharlesWayneCT
"The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

I'm sure no one would ever confuse Canada with France!
8 posted on 11/09/2006 10:39:27 AM PST by Froufrou
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To: Froufrou

The "writeup" had a line with the president saying that Canada was on list #2, along with Mexico. I was just saying that Canada did not belong on the "enemies" list, they aren't supporting Iraq but they are supporting the war on terror and sacrificing their people in Afghanistan.

When the RNC ran the ad in Tennesse (which liberals complained was racist) the Canadians complained rightfully so because the ad said "let Canada handle it, they aren't doing anything".

It is a common misconception. True, Canada has a small military, but they are not sitting out the war.


9 posted on 11/09/2006 10:43:45 AM PST by CharlesWayneCT
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To: CharlesWayneCT

"It's a common misconception."

Not here! I was of the opinion that Canada sent troops early on, sooner than anyone else except maybe Australia.


10 posted on 11/09/2006 10:54:22 AM PST by Froufrou
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To: Froufrou
Good one! Add...

"ENGLISH, that's spelled E-N-G-L-I-S-H, is the OFFICIAL language of the United States of America

All voter registration, drivers tests, employment applications, health care requisitions,and any other form in any other language will be destroyed.

Can't speak, read, or write English? You have the freedom to move to the country where the language of YOUR Choice is spoken!"

We can dream, right??

11 posted on 11/09/2006 5:10:25 PM PST by GoldCountryRedneck ("Idioicy - Never under estimate the power of stupid people in large numbers" - despair.com)
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To: GoldCountryRedneck

By an amazing 70% Arizonans voted to make ENGLIGH (E-N-G-L-I-S-H) the official language of the state, and conduct all business in such.

GOOD FOR THEM. Why the rest of our states (MINE included) won't (not that they can't, they just WON'T), is beyond me.



http://www.azsos.gov/election/2006/Info/PubPamphlet/english/Prop103.htm


12 posted on 11/10/2006 2:15:15 PM PST by Ro_Thunder ("Other than ending SLAVERY, FASCISM, NAZISM and COMMUNISM, war has never solved anything")
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To: Ro_Thunder
By an amazing 70% Arizonans voted to make...(E-N-G-L-I-S-H) the official language of the state

And I applauded when I saw that! :)

BUT.....

...wanna bet that the ACLU (or some other lib outfit) won't challenge it in court (all the way to the Supremes) under the Equal Rights & Protections legal stuff???

That's why a Federal mandate protecting what should be common sense values (language,marriage, etc) would be among those things I would like W to Executive Order in.

~GCR~

13 posted on 11/10/2006 2:25:03 PM PST by GoldCountryRedneck ("Idiocy - Never under estimate the power of stupid people in large numbers" - despair.com)
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