Don't bother. If you truly were being hunted by the evil BFEE, your cabin would be targeted by an airstrike and you'd be turned into a pancake.
Legislation passed by the Republican House and Senate, legislation now marching up to the Republican White House for signature, has shattered a number of bedrock legal protections for suspects, prisoners, and pretty much anyone else George W. Bush deems to be an enemy.
Oh yes, you're a real threat to the President! I'm sure he's shaking in his boots knowing you're out there watching him!
Habeas corpus has been suspended for detainees suspected of terrorism or of aiding terrorism, so the Magna Carta-era rule that a person can face his accusers is now gone. Once a suspect has been thrown into prison, he does not have the right to a trial by his peers. Suspects cannot even stand in representation of themselves, another ancient protection, but must accept a military lawyer as their defender.
Worse, suspects will be forced to watch Miracle, a special extended cut where the crowd chants "USA! USA! USA!" for 45 minutes straight. Also, funny how Pitt hears "military lawyer" and thinks the worst. Here's a clue: The military has such high standards that bad military lawyers are as rare as patriotic liberals. And they are sworn to defend the client to the best of their ability.
Here's the fun part: Hamdan was brought by a military lawyer. If those guys didn't care about defending the terrorist scum they are assigned to, Pitt couldn't have even written this paranoid pile of crap.
Illegally-obtained evidence can be used against suspects,
You can tell Pitt's case against the detainee law is really strong, because he has to lie to prop it up.
To my way of thinking, this pretty much eradicates our security in persons, houses, papers, and effects, as stated in the Fourth Amendment, against illegal searches and seizures.
Now, I know he's not talking about the Patriot Act, but this reminds me: If the Patriot Act is such a blow to civil liberties, why didn't people like Pitt stand up against them when they were frist applied to mobsters and drug dealers long before 9/11? Why did they wait until America was under attack to start caring about my civil liberties? I think we know the answer!
Speaking of collecting evidence, the torture of suspects and detainees has been broadly protected by this new legislation.
Oh Pitt, you're so convincing when you lie! The whole point of the bill was to ensure that nobody would be torturing detainees. Not even you're dumb enough to miss that, but you're hoping (as usual) that your fellow DUmmmies will just buy your pap without engaging their brains.
While it tries to delineate what is and is not acceptable treatment of detainees, in the end, it gives George W. Bush the final word on what constitutes torture.
Sorry Pitt, the third lie was not the charm.
US officials who use cruel, inhumane or degrading treatment to extract information from detainees are now shielded from prosecution.
That's four. What the law does is protect interrogators from being tried for things that weren't illegal when they did them. That's called a right, dipstick.
The Hamdan decision held that the military commissions set up to try detainees violated both the Uniform Code of Military Justice and the Geneva Conventions.
I believe history will view this decision as being as logic-free as Dred Scott. These guys fit Geneva like Jeffrey Dahmer fits the phrase "great dinner date."
In short, the Supreme Court wiped out virtually every legal argument the Bush administration put forth to defend its extraordinary and dangerous behavior.
No, they didn't stop the Rummy vs. Condi half pipe skateboard contests on the White House lawn.
As columnist Molly Ivins wrote on Wednesday, "Of the over 700 prisoners sent to Gitmo, only 10 have ever been formally charged with anything. Among other things, this bill is a CYA for torture of the innocent that has already taken place."
1. We didn't charge most Axis prisoners with crimes in WWII either. Could you liberal bedwetters just decide whether you want to treat these guys like prisoners of war or not? If we're sending a woman in to question them it's a Geneva violation, if we treat them like POWs it's a Constitutional violation. Make up your tiny freakin minds!
2. Does Molly know to make the torture accusation because she read the Al Qaeda manual or just because she knows that the drawback to secrecy is that it allows an enemy to lie all they want about the secret?
3. Oh wait, Molly is just ticked off that Dubya didn't ask her to the prom. I withdraw my question.
If a detainee is not allowed access to a fair trial or to the evidence against him, how can he bring a legal challenge to a court?
Aw, I just tear up at the thought that the trial of a guy who kills women and children might not be to Pitt's standards.
The Republicans in Congress have managed, at the behest of Mr. Bush, to draft a bill that all but erases the judicial branch of the government.
No exaggeration there...Why not accuse Bush of summoning Godzilla to destroy Tokyo while you're at it?
All of the above is deplorable on its face, indefensible in a nation that prides itself on Constitutional rights, protections and the rule of law.
"How dare a nation persecute these terrorists when we should be focusing on real American values like the killing of small children in the womb!"
Thanks to this legislation, George W. Bush is now able to designate as an "enemy combatant" anyone who has "purposefully and materially supported hostilities against the United States."
Hmmm...why would the DU crowd fit that definition? Hey guys, you're worried for a reason. The reason isn't that you'll get picked up, the reason is that deep down you know that the rest of us are on to your "my country except when it defends itself" line of BS.
Consider that language a moment. "Purposefully and materially supported hostilities against the United States" is in the eye of the beholder,
Pitt will never be found guilty. Too few people read his stuff for it to ba a material support to anything but his ego.
and this administration has proven itself to be astonishingly impatient with criticism of any kind.
Sure, in the same way that the Steelers were astonishingly unable to play football last year.
The broad powers given to Bush by this legislation allow him to capture, indefinitely detain, and refuse a hearing to any American citizen who speaks out against Iraq or any other part of the so-called "War on Terror."
So, we should see DU shut down any day now, right? Betcha it's up every day between now and Inauguration Day in '08, unless Skinner tombstones everybody first.
If you write a letter to the editor attacking Bush, you could be deemed as purposefully and materially supporting hostilities against the United States.
But wait, the newspaper would be too! And if you wrote the letter with a Parker or a Bic, they'd be guilty too! We're all goin' to jail!
If you organize or join a public demonstration against Iraq, or against the administration, the same designation could befall you.
Sure. Can't wait to see it. Any minute. Any time now. Sure.
One dark-comedy aspect of the legislation is that senators or House members who publicly disagree with Bush, criticize him, or organize investigations into his dealings could be placed under the same designation. In effect, Congress just gave Bush the power to lock them up.
Wow, just thinking about that makes me grin.
By writing this essay, I could be deemed an "enemy combatant."
I guarantee he doesn't believe that. He's not that brave.
In case I disappear,
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh man, my sides hurt now. Sorrry, go ahead.
In case I disappear, remember this. America is an idea, a dream, and that is all. We have borders and armies and citizens and commerce and industry, but all this merely makes us like every other nation on this Earth. What separates us is the idea, the simple idea, that life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are our organizing principles.
Actually, the DUmmie values are "abortion and euthanasia, jail for fundies and a lot of medication."
I am so scared for my family
I'm watching them on the VRWC monitors right bnow and you should be. They appear to be too dumb to be allowed out of the house. That means you, too.
Bush alone could change the outcome of the elections in November if he wants to.
But why do that when the Dems are doing it for him?
Have we finally stopped circling the drain, and started moving full-speed toward the sewer?
No, you just smell that way.
We are following the path of pre WWII Germany to a T.
Wow, could this guy know less about history?
We need to start a check in place to keep track of each other.
Everybody tell us where your Mom's house is...we can find the basement on our own.
The worst part about the "New World Order" is that you won't ever be able to escape it's reach by moving to another country.
Sort of like having the UN in charge.
Even now we are on the verge of taking hold of the course of our own evolution. We may be a mere hundred years away from unlocking full human potential and making strides we can't even imagine now.
Your high score at Tetris is not a sign of an impending evolutionary breakthrough.
Immortality and control are irrelevant where the human spirit is concerned. Both will fade, or all will perish.
[Ghandi quote]
Never for even a moment do I intend to lie down...
Headline in six days or so "DUMember Dies Horribly: Runs Naked Into Traffic, Screaming "Karl Rove's Giant Head is Chasing Me" And Is Run Over By SUV's".
there is always suicide. The Archons ,rulers or"principalities and powers" Fascist f*ckheads whatever you call it,They can try to break your mind,control your life,damage your body..but they cannot control your spirit once you decide to refuse them control and the most extreme form of saying no, is to cut yourself free of your own body..To me, that was the core of Jesus's message.
Yeah, the whole point of the Gospel was "off yourself to escape the neocons, kiddies." How in the world will we ever beat people this smart?
Yeah, I'll be a traitor.
Um...you already are. Next!
Can I have some of your rice? They will not feed us as well as the "detainees" at Guantanamo...
You only get your orange glazed chicken and rice pilaf if you sing "Jesus Loves Me" for our Religious Re-Education Coordinator, Reverend Henrickson.
If we don't get subpoena power in this Election, * will absolutely squash all dissent.
Sure, there won't be any Dems screaming "Chimpy McHitler" in 2007. All right, I can dream, can't I?
I hear that he has set up the Doomsday Project at DOJ in case Dems do get Subpoena Power.
Yeah, I'm sure you have great sources. Here's a tip: Your spirit guide does not work at the DOJ.
They're shredding as we type probably.
Yeah, they'r reeeeal scared you guys will win all those seats by energizing the country with talking points straight from Osama's cave.
I feel the same way - and I am afraid. I am terrified, I will get flamed but I am seriously thinking of telling the ACLU to dump my membership, delete my account at DU and cut all my ties to all political groups. I am so fearful for my small children.
First, please do. Second, don't worry, Reverend Henrickson and I have some great Blow Pops with a "Jesus Loves Me" smily face on them to give to your kids. As a bonus, we'll keep Pitt and Benburch away from them.
It's been a tough day. I'm a teacher and it's my planning period now, but I lost it first period. When my students asked why I didn't have as much patience as usual today I picked up the paper and read part of an article to them. I didn't tell them everything, but I let them know they should be concerned about our country.
Thanks for that story, DUmmie, you've become Reason #2,562 my kids are homeschooled.
Thinking we might be wise to break into some cells for communication purposes; sort of a Deeper Underground Democratic Underground.
[Deeper Underground Democratic Underground aka Deep DUDU.]
LOL! I think about my family, and the people I love, and what would happen to them if I became a victim of Bush.
What if you became a victim of Dutch elm Disease? I'm told Al Gore is deathly afraid of it.
I have to say in all honesty that if anyone feels threatened by the passage of this un-American legislation and granting of unprecedented power to the executive, they should immediately arm themselves and be prepared to shoot to kill anyone who tries to take them away.
Headline: "National 'Police Dorr-to-Door Greeting Day" ends in tragedy as hundreds of Leftists accidentally shoot themselves." Actually, we'd better be careful, Halloween is coming up, and the DUmmies might mistake a ghoul or two for The Man. "Trick or--BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
I'm gonna go hide under the bed and sob now.
That's the best possible use of your time.
I really miss my country.
Get used to it, the USSR isn't coming back.
I suppose the good news is we'll all be together at Gitmo for my birthday party next year.
Actually, you've been assigned to my Wal-Mart Re-Education Camp. Get ready for lots of Christian music on the loudspeakers.
When I try to tell people in my family, many of them think I've gone over the edge
"Don't you get it? When they say they're going to question an Al Qaeda mastermind really harshly, they mean they're going to lock you up, Dad! You!" "Honey, are you absolutely sure you weren't drinking lead paint while you were pregnant with him?"
I think Will Pitt's posting are generally thoughtful and thought provoking, even when I don't fully agree with them. But I think some people have an over-inflated sense of their own significance. The folks posting here are, to the administration, no more than a pimple on the butt of the universe.
And you win...A KEWPIE DOLL!
If that doesn't work due to something such as a stolen election, then I will find other ways to throw off this despotic government.
"I will tell my mom to fight the capitalist power structure by buying me regular oOreos instead of Double Stuff. Suck on that, fatcats!"
If they try to disappear me, you, or anyone else, then I will pledge my life, fortune, and sacred honor to stop them.
"And I play a lot of Halo, so you know I'll be a real badass!"
In short, the evil would no longer be sufferable, and I'm stubborn as a mule when liberty is at stake.
"Which is why I subscribe to the ideology that promotes government control of business, religious expression, speech, gun ownership..."
Will, I have avoided your posts because of some disparaging words you had for me, but today I did read this piece and it made me cry. Today I would like to make amends and stand with you against the tyranny that faces all of us.
"You had me at 'Bushitler.'"
The disparaging words were almost certainly me being an asshole.
Pitt drawing breat involves him being an @$$#%^&.
The Act enabled Chancellor Adolf Hitler and his cabinet to enact laws without the participation of the Reichstag.
Ooh, and since this particular detainee law outlaws Congress, we're just like...Hey, wait a minute! Thaose laws aren't anything alike. Stupid DUmmie lead me down the primrose path.
Hey Pitt...
Reichstag fire: Fake.
Al Qaeda: Real
Hitler: Allows no dissent, puts people in camps.
Bush: Allows dissent, could care less about you, would thoink you're a joke if he noticed.
So much drama, so little time. ... Smoke and mirrors, tons of ego all around.
And in 14 words, Pitt's life is summed up.
You know how much I'd hate to see you go Will, but I actually WOULD be pained if you got tortured, if that were to happen I would be there for you as a someone they have trained to kill, despite any disagreements we have.
All five Dummie vets are ready to sneak into the Wal-Marts and blow up the NASCAR memorabilia and Joyce Meyers books.
I'll leave these words for posterity, because I know either way Pitt's threads are going to wind up saved for the future.
Abnormal psych textbooks can always use pertintent examples.
If we wake up in time to pull out if this nosedive, we'll be remembered through history as leaders of the revolt.
"The DUmmies are revolting!" "Yeah, you said it, they stink on ice."
If I see long time posters disappearing, if I suddenly stop posting then I will have been disappeared, and any of you that are still around you better head for higher ground.
How would you tell the difference between Skinner's tombstoning binges and neocon kidnapping?
Secondly, if you're a Tolkien fan, just remember that help comes from unseen, unbidden quarters when you least expect it (and often when things look their bleakest).
Poor buggers don't realize they're the orcs.
Anyone that has posted here, even logged on here. Anyone who has said a less than flattering word about the current administration. Anyone who attended a rally against the war. Anyone who had a Kerry bumpersticker on their car or dared to vote for him.
Will be ignored by an administration that wouldn't have the time to worry about you flabby effeminates even if it was evil.
Everything I do or say is now clouded with hesitation. Add that to the fact that I work for a "Christian" employer who would probably fire me if they knew how liberal I am, and I'm totally freaked out.
Don't worry, Reverend Henrickson and I will have plenty of work for you, scrubbing the restrooms at the Wal-Mart Re-Ed center between classes.
SPEAKING TRUTH TO POWER: WILLIAM RIVERS PITT. Pitt weaves beautiful, reverberating truth to Bu$h's raw, obscene power. Thank God for Will Pitt.
[Is that you, Will Pitt?]
"Raw, obscene power?" Sounds more like benburch.
HELLO FROM A FELLOW DUMMIE
Tune: "Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah"
Hello from a fellow DUmmie,
Here I am at their Camp Rummy.
Camp is where they are detaining
All us DUmmies who they say will need retraining.
Exile off in Madagascar
Would beat camp here watching NASCAR.
I can't take the country music,
And the food from Cracker Barrel makes me too sick.
Into chapel, there they squeeze us
And they make us come to Jesus.
I get baptized so darn often
That the creases in my clothing start to soften.
Now I don't want to annoy ya,
But this isn't paranoia.
Guards are coming soon to make me
Watch the 700 Club until they break me.
Get me out, oh help a DUmmie!
Get me out, I hate Camp Rummy!
Don't leave me here in this form of hell--
I've got more Amway left to sell.
Get me out, I promise I will
Not take baths, or mess the house with
Jack Chick tracts; I don't think I can last
Another FOX newscast.
Back on DU, wish I could join.
How's my precious little goodboy?
Get me out of this detention
And I'd even read a Pitt thread with attention.
Wait a minute, what's this beeping?
An alarm clock--I was sleeping!
What a nightmare, for just nappin',
But I bet you Rove and Bush will make it happen!
The REAL PURPOSE of this Pitt thread was for the Magic Man to demonstrate that he can be as paranoid as the wackiest of the DUmmies. It was his way of bonding with them again and hoping that they would just forget about his role in perpetrating the Hoaxmas fraud last May.
Actually, you've been assigned to my Wal-Mart Re-Education Camp. Get ready for lots of Christian music on the loudspeakers.
Don't forget about Rush! Christian music and Rush. If they've been "bad" that day, pipe in some Hannity and Savage.....
Oh, yeah, I almost forgot....Nascar and Fox News on the TV, no PBS....EVER!
I now have it on good authority that Target has inked a deal with Haliburton to join with Walmart in the Haliburton Detainment/Reeducation projects.
All new Target stores that are being built will have the "special" lower levels installed, just like the new Walmarts currently under construction...
Be very afraid, DUmmies. The end is closer than you think....
(applause)
I was going to quote you, but there were too many good ones.
Your post is copied into my Documents, thanks.