Posted on 09/30/2006 3:02:09 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
Ever since his very public humiliation last Spring when he stated that Karl Rove had ALREADY been indicted on May 12, Pied Piper Pitt has kept a rather low profile in DUmmieland. Oh sure, there have been several overlong posts of excruciating boredom made by him but they were more in the form of territorial marking, like a cat urinating on a tree trunk, just to let the DUmmies know he is still around. However, Pitt has now upped the ante of his usual melodramatic antics and now wants people to know that he thinks that he is IMPORTANT enough for the government to take turn him into a North American version of a desaparecido as if the EVIL Bush regime would issue a Nacht und Nebel (Night and Fog) decree for him. Sorry, Pitt, but you just aren't that important. The only place you will be disappearing is into the Bukowki's toilet stall for an extended stay to disgorge yourself of your copious imbibings. The fact is, the government only really knows about you as presented by the DUmmie FUnnies and do you think they want to shut down such a great source of inadvertent humor as you have amply demonstrated in this THREAD breathlessly titled, "In Case I Disappear." So let us now watch Pied Piper Pitt melodramatically attempt to make all memories of his role in perpetrating Hoaxmas disappear in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thinking of devoting an entire chapter of his DUmmie FUnnies book to the comedic Pitt antics, is in the [brackets]:
In Case I Disappear
[The DUmmie FUnnies will mourn the loss of its best source of inadvertent comedy material.]
I have been told a thousand times at least, in the years I have spent reporting on the astonishing and repugnant abuses, lies and failures of the Bush administration, to watch my back. "Be careful," people always tell me. "These people are capable of anything. Stay off small planes, make sure you aren't being followed." A running joke between my mother and me is that she has a "safe room" set up for me in her cabin in the woods, in the event I have to flee because of something I wrote or said.
[Don't worry, Pitt. You're safe. It is TEMPORARY SOCKPUPPET the Feds are after.]
I always laughed and shook my head whenever I heard this stuff. Extreme paranoia wrapped in the tinfoil of conspiracy, I thought. This is still America, and these Bush fools will soon pass into history, I thought. I am a citizen, and the First Amendment hasn't yet been red-lined, I thought.
[And we ALWAYS laugh at your Drama Queen antics.]
Matters are different now.
[Ever since May 12, the Day When Everything Finally Changed...for the third time.]
It seems, perhaps, that the people who warned me were not so paranoid. It seems, perhaps, that I was not paranoid enough. Legislation passed by the Republican House and Senate, legislation now marching up to the Republican White House for signature, has shattered a number of bedrock legal protections for suspects, prisoners, and pretty much anyone else George W. Bush deems to be an enemy.
[George W. Bush has deemed you to be the Clown Prince of the Left.]
So much of this legislation is wretched on the surface. Habeas corpus has been suspended for detainees suspected of terrorism or of aiding terrorism, so the Magna Carta-era rule that a person can face his accusers is now gone. Once a suspect has been thrown into prison, he does not have the right to a trial by his peers. Suspects cannot even stand in representation of themselves, another ancient protection, but must accept a military lawyer as their defender.
[Don't worry, Pitt. I will ensure that you always have the right to a trial by your peers by recruiting the jury pool from the Titicut Follies performers.]
Illegally-obtained evidence can be used against suspects, whether that illegal evidence was gathered abroad or right here at home. To my way of thinking, this pretty much eradicates our security in persons, houses, papers, and effects, as stated in the Fourth Amendment, against illegal searches and seizures.
[Please make sure your fellow Democrats stress this point while campaigning.]
Speaking of collecting evidence, the torture of suspects and detainees has been broadly protected by this new legislation. While it tries to delineate what is and is not acceptable treatment of detainees, in the end, it gives George W. Bush the final word on what constitutes torture. US officials who use cruel, inhumane or degrading treatment to extract information from detainees are now shielded from prosecution.
[We continue to have the right to cruelly torture terrorists with 69 degrees of air conditioning.]
It was two Supreme Court decisions, Hamdi v. Rumsfeld and Hamdan v. Rumsfeld, that compelled the creation of this legislation. The Hamdi decision held that a prisoner has the right of habeas corpus, and can challenge his detention before an impartial judge. The Hamdan decision held that the military commissions set up to try detainees violated both the Uniform Code of Military Justice and the Geneva Conventions.
[I suddenly have a case of the munchies so I've made the Hamsandwich decision.]
In short, the Supreme Court wiped out virtually every legal argument the Bush administration put forth to defend its extraordinary and dangerous behavior. The passage of this legislation came after a scramble by Republicans to paper over the torture and murder of a number of detainees. As columnist Molly Ivins wrote on Wednesday, "Of the over 700 prisoners sent to Gitmo, only 10 have ever been formally charged with anything. Among other things, this bill is a CYA for torture of the innocent that has already taken place."
[Strange how neither Pitt nor the DUmmiecrats can actually NAME the tortured and murdered detainees.]
It seems almost certain that, at some point, the Supreme Court will hear a case to challenge the legality of this legislation, but even this is questionable. If a detainee is not allowed access to a fair trial or to the evidence against him, how can he bring a legal challenge to a court? The legislation, in anticipation of court challenges like Hamdi and Hamdan, even includes severe restrictions on judicial review over the legislation itself.
[Cry me a River of tears for the poor widdle terrorists.]
The Republicans in Congress have managed, at the behest of Mr. Bush, to draft a bill that all but erases the judicial branch of the government. Time will tell whether this aspect, along with all the others, will withstand legal challenges. If such a challenge comes, it will take time, and meanwhile there is this bill. All of the above is deplorable on its face, indefensible in a nation that prides itself on Constitutional rights, protections and the rule of law.
[Maybe you should talk Kerry into introducing the Terrorist Protection Bill.]
Underneath all this, however, is where the paranoia sets in.
[Paranoia which seems to bubble up in EVERY DUmmie thread.]
Underneath all this is the definition of "enemy combatant" that has been established by this legislation. An "enemy combatant" is now no longer just someone captured "during an armed conflict" against our forces. Thanks to this legislation, George W. Bush is now able to designate as an "enemy combatant" anyone who has "purposefully and materially supported hostilities against the United States."
[Poor widdle terrorist supporters.]
Consider that language a moment. "Purposefully and materially supported hostilities against the United States" is in the eye of the beholder, and this administration has proven itself to be astonishingly impatient with criticism of any kind. The broad powers given to Bush by this legislation allow him to capture, indefinitely detain, and refuse a hearing to any American citizen who speaks out against Iraq or any other part of the so-called "War on Terror."
[Fortunately Bukowski's has been designated a protected sanctuary so you will remain forever safe.]
If you write a letter to the editor attacking Bush, you could be deemed as purposefully and materially supporting hostilities against the United States. If you organize or join a public demonstration against Iraq, or against the administration, the same designation could befall you. One dark-comedy aspect of the legislation is that senators or House members who publicly disagree with Bush, criticize him, or organize investigations into his dealings could be placed under the same designation. In effect, Congress just gave Bush the power to lock them up.
[Or as MTV kept repeating just before the 2004 election---you COULD be drafted.]
By writing this essay, I could be deemed an "enemy combatant." It's that simple, and very soon, it will be the law. I always laughed when people told me to be careful. I'm not laughing anymore.
[You will only be deemed an enemy of concise writing.]
In case I disappear, remember this. America is an idea, a dream, and that is all. We have borders and armies and citizens and commerce and industry, but all this merely makes us like every other nation on this Earth. What separates us is the idea, the simple idea, that life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are our organizing principles. We can think as we please, speak as we please, write as we please, worship as we please, go where we please. We are protected from the kinds of tyranny that inspired our creation as a nation in the first place.
[LOOKEE MEE! LOOKEE MEE! I'm important enough to be disappeared by the EVIL Bush Regime! (Can I now PLEASE have a campaign job, Mr. Kerry?)]
That was the idea. That was the dream. It may all be over now, but once upon a time, it existed. No good idea ever truly dies. The dream was here, and so was I, and so were you.
[Your dream of a Kerry campaign job has disappeared, Pitt, after making the entire Democrat party look like fools for falling for the Hoaxmas fraud you perpetrated last May. And now on to the DUmmie responses to this pathetic eruption of overinflated self-importance...]
brought me to tears, both for its beauty but also from the fear and dread I feel. I am so scared for my family (this includes my DU family).
[Don't ever leave the sanctuary of Mommy's basement.]
Bush alone could change the outcome of the elections in November if he wants to. He can lock them up and throw away the key. And it's all legal thanks to the GOP-led (corrupt) Congress.
[And he can even make the Diebold election results whistle Dixie if he wants to.]
Have we finally stopped circling the drain, and started moving full-speed toward the sewer?
[Give my regards to Ed Norton.]
Get ready for a bumpy ride. We are following the path of pre WWII Germany to a T. We need to start a check in place to keep track of each other.
[Check the bulletin board of your local Wal-Mart Detention Center.]
The worst part about the "New World Order" is that you won't ever be able to escape it's reach by moving to another country. It's not like that yet, but someday, if their plans are carried out to the fullest extent, there will truly be no where to run, no where to hide.
[Fortunately the Fifth Dimension will remain forever FREEEEEEE!!!]
Even now we are on the verge of taking hold of the course of our own evolution. We may be a mere hundred years away from unlocking full human potential and making strides we can't even imagine now. But it doesn't matter if it is a hundred years, or a thousand, or even a million. Provided we do not go extinct, we will eventually achieve a transcendent human philosophy along with our technological and physical achievements.
[Enjoying your acid trip?]
Immortality and control are irrelevant where the human spirit is concerned. Both will fade, or all will perish.
[Sharing the acid with the DUmmie above?]
Never for even a moment do I intend to lie down...
[Pied Piper Pitt hasn't slept since April...2005.]
there is always suicide. The Archons ,rulers or"principalities and powers" Fascist f*ckheads whatever you call it,They can try to break your mind,control your life,damage your body..but they cannot control your spirit once you decide to refuse them control and the most extreme form of saying no, is to cut yourself free of your own body..To me, that was the core of Jesus's message.The body is not you. Death is not the END..Disagree all you want.
[Hey, if you want to commit suicide, who am I to stop you?]
I have a safe house if needed. watch your back and your phone calls.
[A safe house located in the backroom of Bukowski's.]
Yeah, I'll be a traitor. lots of thought, maybe the thought police will get me first.
[More likely the Thoughtless Police will get you first.]
Can I have some of your rice? They will not feed us as well as the "detainees" at Guantanamo...
[At least you can still gorge yourselves on orange glaze chicken.]
If we don't get subpoena power in this Election, * will absolutely squash all dissent. I hear that he has set up the Doomsday Project at DOJ in case Dems do get Subpoena Power. They will fight it tooth and nail. They're shredding as we type probably.
[Hopefully they are shredding wheat. I'm getting the munchies again.]
I feel the same way - and I am afraid. I am terrified, I will get flamed but I am seriously thinking of telling the ACLU to dump my membership, delete my account at DU and cut all my ties to all political groups. I am so fearful for my small children.
[They are safe as long as they are not schoolgirls at a certain private Newton school.]
I literally cannot stop crying.
[ I literally cannot stop laughing.]
It's been a tough day. I'm a teacher and it's my planning period now, but I lost it first period. When my students asked why I didn't have as much patience as usual today I picked up the paper and read part of an article to them. I didn't tell them everything, but I let them know they should be concerned about our country.
[Do you teach at a certain private school in Newton, MA?]
Thinking we might be wise to break into some cells for communication purposes; sort of a Deeper Underground Democratic Underground.
[Deeper Underground Democratic Underground aka Deep DUDU.]
I think about my family, and the people I love, and what would happen to them if I became a victim of Bush. It's not right. It's not America. It's...all over.
[Give up...now.]
But... I have to say in all honesty that if anyone feels threatened by the passage of this un-American legislation and granting of unprecedented power to the executive, they should immediately arm themselves and be prepared to shoot to kill anyone who tries to take them away.
[They came to take you away...HEE! HEE! They came to take you away...HO! HO!]
I'm gonna go hide under the bed and sob now. I really miss my country. I suppose the good news is we'll all be together at Gitmo for my birthday party next year.
[We'll light birthday candles on top of your Club Gitmo orange glaze chicken.]
The scariest thing to me is that most Americans don't even know what's happening. When I try to tell people in my family, many of them think I've gone over the edge
[Why do I have absolutely no trouble believing that?]
I think Will Pitt's posting are generally thoughtful and thought provoking, even when I don't fully agree with them. But I think some people have an over-inflated sense of their own significance. The folks posting here are, to the administration, no more than a pimple on the butt of the universe.
[Will Pitt as the insignificant cosmic pimple on the butt of the universe.]
I'm going to try to alter or abolish this government in November. If that doesn't work due to something such as a stolen election, then I will find other ways to throw off this despotic government. If they try to disappear me, you, or anyone else, then I will pledge my life, fortune, and sacred honor to stop them. In short, the evil would no longer be sufferable, and I'm stubborn as a mule when liberty is at stake. I bet I ain't the only one that feels that way.
[Correct. There are plenty of other inmates in the DUmmie asylum.]
when will people wake up already?
[In the Year 2525...if Man is still Alive.]
Will, I have avoided your posts because of some disparaging words you had for me, but today I did read this piece and it made me cry. Today I would like to make amends and stand with you against the tyranny that faces all of us.
The disparaging words were almost certainly me being an asshole. It happens from time to time, and I apologize.
[It happens whenever you indulge in a drunken Bukowski's binge which means FREQUENTLY.]
The Enabling Act (Ermächtigungsgesetz in German) was passed by Germany's parliament (the Reichstag) on 23 March 1933. It was the second major step after the Reichstag Fire Decree through which the Nazis obtained dictatorial powers using largely legal means. The Act enabled Chancellor Adolf Hitler and his cabinet to enact laws without the participation of the Reichstag. The formal name of the Enabling Act was Gesetz zur Behebung der Not von Volk und Reich ('Law to Remedy the Distress of the People and the Reich'). As with most of the laws passed in the process of Gleichschaltung, the Enabling Act is quite short (5 Articles), considering its consequences. The Enabling Act was proclaimed by the government the following day on March 24. Following constitutional procedure for legislation, the law was countersigned by President von Hindenburg, Chancellor Hitler, Minister of Interior Frick, Foreign Minister von Neurath, and Minister of Finance von Krosigk.
[ACHTUNG!!! Pied Piper Pitt tossing around long German words to make himself seem important. Freudenschade, baby!]
Thank you, everyone, for the thoughts and recommendations We hang together or hang separately.
[No one except benburch is interested in how you are hung, Will.]
So much drama, so little time.
[And DUmmie symbolman WINS a Kewpie Doll for having the brief mental clarity to NAIL Pied Piper Pitt. Continue...]
I'm pretty sure that actual Media people who show up on the radar (Liberal of course) will be taken out first, not internet "conspiracy theorists" which is what they call ALL of us, including you. Why not just quit the DU and play it safe, you've done it before. If indeed you are considered more than an ass pimple to this admin, as one poster suggested most of us are, it would be your duty as our leader to lay low for awhile as you are much too valuable to us all here. We are going to need you to lead the charge.
[The pimple leading the pimps. Continue...]
Smoke and mirrors, tons of ego all around.
[Hey, we're talking about Pied Piper Pitt here. You're on a roll so continue...]
It's too bad Rove wasn't actually indicted. Had that happened he might not have pulled this little ploy, instead been sitting in a cell, or too busy flooding his Depends to dream up something this rancid.
[But Rove was indicted last May 12. Didn't you get the news from Pitt via TruthOut? Continue...]
You know how much I'd hate to see you go Will, but I actually WOULD be pained if you got tortured, if that were to happen I would be there for you as a someone they have trained to kill, despite any disagreements we have.
[They plan to torture Will by forcing him to read his Endless "Penitence" At DUmmie Canossa.]
Hey, don't worry about me. Rumor has it I can kill people just by speaking.
[Correct Will. You kill people by boring them to death.]
I'll leave these words for posterity, because I know either way Pitt's threads are going to wind up saved for the future.
[Don't worry. Pitt's comedy act is being saved for posterity in the DUmmie FUnnies. Continue with your "words for posterity..."]
If we wake up in time to pull out if this nosedive, we'll be remembered through history as leaders of the revolt. If we fail and wind up in the Gitmo's planned for us, then they'll keep these threads for evidence. If I see long time posters disappearing, if I suddenly stop posting then I will have been disappeared, and any of you that are still around you better head for higher ground.
[Is that you, Ruth? And shouldn't you be writing down these "words for posterity" on toilet paper for Evey to read in V For Vendetta?]
September 28, 2006 was a dark day in our history.
[For DUmmies, it vastly overshadows September 11, 2001.]
Secondly, if you're a Tolkien fan, just remember that help comes from unseen, unbidden quarters when you least expect it (and often when things look their bleakest). The Eagles always managed to turn up at just the right time, to turn the tide.
[Thirdly, I'm wondering at this point how many of these dopey rantings are coming from legit NUttie DUmmies or from LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!!!]
Got an email today from a Truth Movementer.
[Truth Movementer? Is that a Truther with constipation?]
Anyone that has posted here, even logged on here. Anyone who has said a less than flattering word about the current administration. Anyone who attended a rally against the war. Anyone who had a Kerry bumpersticker on their car or dared to vote for him. All of us here in the DU community are now at risk. We can be arrested without any probable cause, whisked off to Gitmo or even worse and kept there until we die without our families having any information.
[A Kerry bumpersticker alone is enough to get you a one-way ticket to Gitmo.]
When they come for me I will scream loud enough for all of you to hear me, after I bite off someone's nuts!
[Is that you, benburch?]
I can't get my mind off this since yesterday. Everything I do or say is now clouded with hesitation. Add that to the fact that I work for a "Christian" employer who would probably fire me if they knew how liberal I am, and I'm totally freaked out.
[Don't forget to bow before your employer's fish symbol daily or it's off to Gitmo for you.]
SPEAKING TRUTH TO POWER: WILLIAM RIVERS PITT. Pitt weaves beautiful, reverberating truth to Bu$h's raw, obscene power. Thank God for Will Pitt.
[Is that you, Will Pitt?]
Immortality and control are irrelevant where the human spirit is concerned. Both will fade, or all will perish.
"Let them [the Nazis] take possession of your beautiful island with your many beautiful buildings. You will give all these, but neither your souls, nor your minds." - Gandhi, urging pacifism in an open letter to the people of Britain during WWII.
Funny how the DUmmies think Bush is Hitler and they take the same approach.
I had that very line in mind.
[Deeper Underground Democratic Underground aka Deep DUDU.]
Bwa-hahahahaha! That's classic. You'll have to start up a new daily thread: Daily DUDU.
MAKE ME KNOWN, COUNTRY ROAD
Tune: "Take Me Home, Country Roads"
Almost hades, Crawford Texas
Bush Ranch protest, Sheehan doin' talk shows
Press is out there, underneath the tree
Lookin' for some talkers, might as well be me
Country road, make me known
To the place I belong
Guest opinion, TV pundit
Make me known, country road
All my DUmmies rally round me
Mindless, lazy, looking for a leader
Read my bloggings, written on the fly
Boring waste of bandwidth, glazing of the eye
Country road, make me known
To the place I belong
Guest opinion, TV pundit
Make me known, country road
I wear a hat, in the mirror I see Eastwood
The ladies on DU think I'm hot when I pose
But sweatin' in the sun I get the feelin'
That I should have worn some lighter clothes, lighter clothes
Country road, make me known
To the place I belong
Guest opinion, TV pundit
Make me known, country road
Make me known, country road
Make me known, country road . . .
HELLO FROM A FELLOW DUMMIE
Tune: "Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah"
Hello from a fellow DUmmie,
Here I am at their Camp Rummy.
Camp is where they are detaining
All us DUmmies who they say will need retraining.
Exile off in Madagascar
Would beat camp here watching NASCAR.
I can't take the country music,
And the food from Cracker Barrel makes me too sick.
Into chapel, there they squeeze us
And they make us come to Jesus.
I get baptized so darn often
That the creases in my clothing start to soften.
Now I don't want to annoy ya,
But this isn't paranoia.
Guards are coming soon to make me
Watch the 700 Club until they break me.
Get me out, oh help a DUmmie!
Get me out, I hate Camp Rummy!
Don't leave me here in this form of hell--
I've got more Amway left to sell.
Get me out, I promise I will
Not take baths, or mess the house with
Jack Chick tracts; I don't think I can last
Another FOX newscast.
Back on DU, wish I could join.
How's my precious little goodboy?
Get me out of this detention
And I'd even read a Pitt thread with attention.
Wait a minute, what's this beeping?
An alarm clock--I was sleeping!
What a nightmare, for just nappin',
But I bet you Rove and Bush will make it happen!
"she has a "safe room" set up for me in her cabin in the woods, in the event I have to flee because of something I wrote or said..."
"she has a 'rubber room' set up for me...in the event I have to flee because the D.A. in Suffolk County has copies of things I wrote and tapes of things I said to my young, really young students that weren't part of the curriculum when I was a substitute teacher, and I keep hearing over and over in my head "Me and Julio Down In the School-yard."
Fixed.
When Pitt has delusions of grandeur he thinks he's Joe Wilson. When Joe Wilson has delusions of grandeur he thinks he's himself.
Wait until I get all 5,000 or so re-ed campers marching in a circle singing that "I'm in the Lord's Army" Sunday School song. Big fun, baby!
It was benburch who noticed.
Every DUmmie should go somewhere and ask:
"Please lock the door, and throw away the key, there's someone in my head and it's not me."
Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
I love these "It could happen!"/"I'm so scared!"/"I weep for our country!"/"D*mn that Bush!" threads. The DUmmies get all worked up over what they fear COULD happen--and then . . . it never does!
"OH Will! I am going to miss you so!!! Please let me go with you!
IMHO, seems to me that following his humiliation, Pitt's on a self-destructive path, is very aware of that fact, and wants to lay the groundwork for blame to be placed on Bush if he offs himself through his own foolishness.
GAG! Spork alert. Why post that?
Or a veterinarian close to kitten close to an attorney close to...
He just makes up this rubbish about a "Doomsday Project at the D.O.J. in case Dems do get Subpoena Power."
Dems already have the same authority as Republicans to request subpoenas. Pitt captalizes Subpoena and Power, and joins them to make it sound rare and slightly sinister.
I can just see all the Dummies reading that and trembling with fear. Pitt is feeding the hysteria of some very unstable people over there.
Skinner might want to find out to what extent he, Skinner, and his partners are legally liable if Dummie suicides are found clutching copies of Will Pitt's fear-mongering.
Pitt's defense would probably be that no sane person could take his writing seriously. "D.O.J." in Pitt's goofy world probably means "Dummie on Juice" and not Department of Justice.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.