Posted on 09/20/2006 9:00:40 AM PDT by Criminal Number 18F
Has anybody figured out yet that McCain's bill means we have to now read detainees their Miranda rights? He wants to give them full UCMJ rights, including the ability to lawyer up IMMEDIATELY, even IN COMBAT.
I fell asleep thinking of this and had a dream... or nightmare... that I was back in my tour of Afghanistan exactly where I was in 2002-2003... except this time, in the version McCain wants. So it was really John McCain's dream, except that I was unlucky enough to be in it...which made it my nightmare.
ACT I
AFGHANISTAN is bleak and dusty, in the claws of a drought which set in right after the Flood and hasn't let up yet. The terrain is nearer vertical than horizontal, except for the road right in front of us, where a Toyota Hilux pickup with a couple of bullet holes in it is careened in a ditch. OFF there are sounds of a pitched battle: the ting, ting-ting of M4s in aimed fire, the tong-tong-tong-tong of Aks fired full auto in long bursts. There's an occasional EXPLOSION and bloodcurdling SCREAM, OFF.
Criminal Number 18F and Mullah Abdul enter stage left. Abdul is bound with cable-ties and disarmed.
Mullah Abdul: "Allah hu akbar! Die Amriki pig!"
Criminal Number 18F: "Excuse me, Abdul... let's get behind the Toyota as your bros are still trying to shoot me... now there's a good chap. Be aware, you don't need to say anything till we chopper in an attorney for you."
Mullah Abdul: "Untie me and I will cut off your head!"
Criminal Number 18F: "If you cannot afford an attorney -- ooh, that one was close -- one will be appointed for you."
Mullah Abdul: "Death to all Amriki, all Engleez, all kufr. Death to everybody!"
Criminal Number 18F: "Buddha statues?"
Mullah Abdul: "Must die! Idolatry! History! Literacy! ALl must be stamped out by Islam!"
Criminal Number 18F: "Danish Cartoonists?"
Mullah Abdul: "Behead all cartoonists! Mohammed forbids depection of the human body! Islam is religion of peace and respect, or we cut your head off."
Criminal Number 18F: "Maybe he just didn't want the human body depicted so that the pre-teen girls would think those sores on his [crudity deletes] were normal."
Mullah Abdul (looking down his Shalwar Kameez): "You mean they're not, uh....? HEY! You made joke on Mohammed. Now all Muslims must kill you."
LOUD CRASH as some projectile hits Toyota and a piece falls off. GUNFIRE continues.
Criminal Number 18F (musing): "And I was so well received before."
Mullah Abdul: "Death to you. Death to Cartoonists. Death to Ronald McDonald. Death to Kermit the Frog. There is no Frog in koran."
Criminal Number 18F: "And the Pope?"
Mullah Abdul: "Him too. Now, where's my lawyer?"
Criminal Number 18F: "He can't land till we're done killing your cousins. That will probably get you off on appeal."
Mullah Abdul: "I hope they remembered to bring the judge this time. Last Wednesday I had to go all the way to Kabul for my bail hearing, and I lost two whole days of jihad and a night of donkey sex and wife beating."
Criminal Number 18F: "Well, you can always sue the command for lost income. I don't think they can help with the donkey, though."
Mullah Abdul: "AQ keeps a lawyer on retainer for me in Jalalabad. He thinks I don't have a cause for action, but the donkey may have standing to sue in US court."
Criminal Number 18F: "If not... we can probably find a place for him." PAUSE for TIMING. "The Senate."
d.o.l.
Criminal Number 18F
SEN. JOHN McCAIN: THE ULTIMATE "RHINESTONE HERO"
SEN. JOHN McCAIN: THE ULTIMATE "RHINESTONE HERO" Part II
U.S. Sen. John McCain is no War Hero
John McCain: The Manchurian Candidate
John McCain, you treasonous bastard, I challenge you or any of your traitorous cohorts...
McCain Is Booed by Labor Activists
McCain Rides to Kerry's Rescue: "John Kerry is Not Weak on Defense" (Today Show alert)
John McCain SCREAMS AT 9/11 FSA MEMBERS FOR OPPOSING HIS BILL TO GIVE AMNESTY FOR ILLEGALS
If you can't question a terrorist ... then kill him.
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