Posted on 07/04/2006 7:39:31 AM PDT by Enterprise
"?DEAR MARGO: I am a 38-year-old successful female who is emotionally and financially secure. I have been told that I am very attractive and intimidate men. I would like to get married but am thought to be too independent"
(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...
" ... she just never quite learned how to talk to them."
This doesn't seem to fit with all the pictures of women you posted in this thread.
And Rush Limbaugh... he's on what his fourth marriage? Hardly the man that should be giving young single never married women advice.
Uh, I promise not to get carried away.
This doesn't seem to fit with all the pictures of women you posted in this thread.
LOL - feminine logic at its best.
"LOL - feminine logic at its best."
Men talk?
Unlike Ms Independent, he at least, HAS been married. And the observation that he made had nothing to do with the number of times he has been married.
I'd rather be unmarried at 38 then to have had three failed marriages at the same age.
You took a statement about a woman not learning to talk to men and somehow linked it to pictures of (mostly) anonymous females. In this world, I swear, you are the only one who can possibly understand the link.
I say again, do men talk?
I would wish that for you too!
Ask your husband.
I've been happily married for 17 years now to my first and only husband. I'd say my track record is better than Limbaugh's.
Honestly, he's about the only man that would talk to me. Most men would just sit there and stare.
Has your husband been happily married for 17 years?
People who are emotionally secure don't write to advice columns on Yahoo whining about why they can't find a man.
I have been told that I am very attractive and intimidate men.
A little Midol will clear that right up. Or maybe Haldol depending on the severity.
I would like to get married but am thought to be too independent.
And yet, here you are begging for a phallus to keep you warm at night. The irony here is palpable.
the past, I just thought that these men were needy. However, I was having a group discussion in mixed company where a man said it seems like women don't need men anymore.
Maybe if you'd stop burning bras and calling us opressors, we would actually feel useful?
I feeel as though women were forced to become independent and support themselves.
Buyer's remorse, ehhh?
Now, men seem to be threatened by our success. Do I need to act like I "need" men to find my soulmate? I abhor needy females, yet I do want to share my life with someone with the ultimate goal of getting married and perhaps having children.
Well, toots, you made your bed...
What is ironic is that I would walk away from my career for the right man and situation. In many ways, I feel like I would rather be alone than have to acquiesce to a man's ego. -- MS. INDEPENDENT
It's not our ego that's the problem here. You looking for a culprit here? Check your drivers license photo.
I think there is a central point here, and you summed it up quite nicely. "Buyers remorse." This woman was sold a bill of goods, and now, too late, she is writing one of her sisters to get assurance that she did the right thing. Of course, her sister will tell her she done good.
"Has your husband been happily married for 17 years?"
If he wasn't, we wouldn't be married any longer. And I gotta admit, he's about the only one who can fully understand me. He's a very patient man.
This is very much a cultural issue. In most cultures for most of history, marrying the older male was generally considered a good thing for a number of reasons. I know a number of eligible females of many different backgrounds that essentially refuse to date any man that is not at least five years their senior. Everyone rationalizes what they find attractive from a kind of twisted subconscious cost/benefit analysis. It may seem odd, but it does actually make some sense. A more extreme example of this is that I've known one or two women who desired arranged marriages and got them, as was a custom of their culture, and they had been living comfortably independent in the US for many, many years and with no practical restrictions on who they could marry.
I will add that for young women, older men arguably come with some considerable advantages that most men their age do not posess. On average, they are more mature, make fewer relationship mistakes, and often financially capable of supporting a family well. And the hormones that lead them to do stupid and destructive things have been reduced to a dull roar. If the guy is actually charming and not a complete toad, the package sells far better than you might think.
But this depends a great deal on what you are after. If the woman is interested in building a solid family above all else, the older man is nearly ideal. If you the woman is interested in a life companion, a man closer to her own age may be more attractive. It is a distinction with a real difference, and the perspective is often biased by the culture it is formed in. Significant age differentials were never uncommon in the US in the past.
Yeah, it does suggest a basic lack of judgment when it comes to relationships.
Though every time I say things like that, I am reminded of my uncle who finally found his match (IMO) on his 4th marriage, which has outlasted the prior ones combined and still going strong. I would hope that is an outlier anecdote (and it still suggests poor judgment).
Dear Margo;
As an "independent" woman you've spent 38 years telling men you don't need them. They've got the message. What's the problem?
Men.
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