Posted on 05/22/2006 6:22:32 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
Okay, here is the latest in the Hoaxmas saga. TruthOut followed up their first Partial Birth Apology with a SECOND Partial Birth Apology in which they AGAIN said nothing except they were sticking by their Hoaxmas story through Hell or High Water. As for Pied Piper Pitt. He is still MIA and is suspected of hiding out in the Furorbunker in the desperate hope that he can beat back the Hoaxmas backlash. Rumor has it that he is deluding himself with fantasy scenarios in which Hoaxmax may still turn out to be true. And he might be getting some sustenance from this Daily Kos FANTASY titled, "Did Gonzales Kill Fitz's Rove Indictments?" According to this latest delusion, Rove really was indicted during a 15 hour lockdown (later amended to ALL DAY Friday and into Saturday night by the second TruthOut "explanation") of the the entire 4th floor of Patton Boggs but that indictment was KILLED by the Attorney General. Of course, to believe that story, one needs to believe that the cat of Rove's attorney, Robert Luskin, was not taken to the vet on that same day to check on the health of its STOOLS. Jason Leopold has stated that he will now try to disprove Luskin's alibi by calling every vet in a 20 mile radius of Washington, D.C.. So let us now explore the latest Leftist Fitzmas fantasy in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who is dedicating this DUFU edition to Luskin's cat with the healthy stools, is in the [brackets]:
The Wayne Madsen Report and the Chris Matthews Show have both floated the theory that Fitzgerald had secured indictments against Rove, but Gonzales --via McNulty-- came in at the last second and used his power as Fitzgerald's superior to kill the indictments.
[Wayne Madsen is considered to be so unreliable that his reports have been BANNED from DUmmieland which judging from what is normally permitted there must some sort of new low in lack of credibility. But continue my appropriately named Kossack, JiggyFlunknut...]
IF, this theory is true, Fitzgerald would have likely challenged McNulty's decision in court, pointing to an earlier administrative directive from then acting Attorney General James Comey that gave Fitzerald the "authority of the Attorney General." Comey is long gone, however, and was replaced by McNulty. The question then becomes what, if any, value does Comey's administrative directive have today.
[A very big IF there, Flunknut. And the theory is easily disproven by the Luskin cat stool check.]
One unfortunate realty of this scenario is that if the judge sides with McNulty, we will never know what really happened, because it will remained sealed. Which, is one explanation about why Rove is acting so smug these days and why the White House has not pulled back his public schedule.
[Or maybe Rove is so smug because he knows that a sample of the Luskin cat stools stored in a vet's lockbox in the D.C. area gives him a rock solid alibi that he never even met with Fitzgerald on May 12. And now to let the other Kossacks chime in...]
This would be a big deal.
[IF true. However, that big IF is a gigantic Firewall keeping this fantasy from breaking through to reality.]
We're talking Wayne Madsen, for Dog's sake!
[In this case, for Cat's stools!]
Even worse is to create a set of tools that are designed to perpetuate the thousand year reich and then lose power due to overwhelming incompetence in the execution if not the plan, so that your enemies now have the Patriot Act and warrantless surveilance with which to check out the money laundering of big oil, Halliburton and the Military Industrial Complex.
[You mean create a set of stools.]
I believe certain members of the Press have just about had it with Gonzales' shit.
[I believe certain members of the Press have just about had it with Lukin's cat stools.]
I'm kind of stalling for time here...
[Or stooling for time here...]
It scared the living shit out of me. I think with this latest revalation of Gonzales "we can do whatever we want" doctrine of law, it scares me even more.
[The living cat stools will scare you even more.]
Cases can be sealed for any number of reasons.
[There's a much great reason to seal cat stools.]
i was suing my boyfriend for custody of the cats and didn't want you guys to know about it
[The important thing is, did you also get custody of the cat stools?]
have some people eating crow. Jason Leopold may have been right afterall.
[Jason Leopold is right now doing some intense journalistic investigation by going into Robert Luskin's trash and checking out the cat stools for evidence in this case.]
I won't even entertain it as an option until I can find a link for Sealed v. Sealed
[You'd be better off trying to find a link for Stool v Stool Pigeon.]
It depresses me so much to think that this could possibly be true. Unfortunately, history and the psychology of this administration makes this and other horrid events plausable. I mourn for our country's loss of every ideal it stood for.
[But wouldn't your mourning be balanced out by the JOY of finding out that the Luskin cat stools are okay?]
Leopold was right vis-a-vis the indictments, what could hold them up indefinitely or dismiss them? Is there anything outside of a plea agreement, aside from firing Fitz, that could keep an indictment from being served?
[Yes. Check the prophetic cat stools for the answers.]
Folks, I don't care which side of the aisle you're on, bullshit is bullshit. It's not that I don't want Leopold to be right, it's just that he's not right. He's a liar, he's an asshole and the fact that so many people are now going to excuse him thanks to YET ANOTHER lie about this just pisses me off.
[I don't care which side of the aisle you're on, cat stools are cat stools.]
Since Fitz represents the governemnt officially, it wiil have to be a bribe to the Judge. So a black satchel is my speculation.
[A black stool is my speculation.]
report it 24-7, or just give it the Downing Street Memoranda Treatment?
[Downing Street Memos are excellent material for wrapping up cat stools.]
I remember the day this story broke - down to where I was and who I was with - as clearly as I remember the day Kennedy was assassinated
[Let me guess. You were at the vet in order to have your cat's stools checked?]
Research? Evidence? Those things have no place in a diary like this!
[Or in a TruthOut story.]
I'd like to hear the opinions of a lot of other people on how likely this is.
[Somewhere between Nil and None.]
Does this mean that if Fitz decides NOT to indict Rove, he will not announce that fact?
[Only after NOT spending 15 hours in a lockdown on the 4th floor of Patton Boggs.]
This is the "quiet" Saturday Night Massacre.
[According to TruthOut the Patton Boggs lockdown lasted ALL DAY Friday into Saturday Night thus making a "Saturday Night Massacre" possible.]
This foaming-at-the-mouth speculation accomplishes zilch. Jason Leopold overreached badly. There's no point in inventing conspiracy theories to explain his failure.
[I was kind of fond of the conspiracy theory about a Patton Boggs lockdown that lasted all day Friday into Saturday night.]
I'd love to take to the streets. I'd love to "crash the gates" more than metaphorically. The Plame leak was just one more proof to me that the America I love is nearly dead. I'm willing to die a horrible death to revive it.
[I bet you wouldn't be willing to sleep with cat stools to revive it.]
Citing Wayne Madsen is unacceptable.
[But FUn!]
Stupid diaries like this one Should NOT be recommended.
[However they should be DUFUed.]
Why doesn't everybody take a deep breath, take a step back, and recognize that EVERYONE who is progressive and Democratic is under a LOT of stress as we do what we can to hold the fragments of our country together by keeping our fingers in the cracks of the dam. Karl Rove is the epitome of what makes the Bush Administration so malevolent, so deceitful and destructive to the good names and lives of many decent Americans; and I'm second to NO ONE in wanting him to get his just desserts. However, I think WE'RE ALL STARTING TO FREAK OUT A LITTLE because we're so DAMNED IMPATIENT...and what results is speculation after speculation after bad report after bad journalism--and thus, our response to it is to start going at each other's f*cking throats?
[Watching Leftists FREAK OUT is FUn to watch!]
I don't know which is more annoying: the way some people here pretend they know what the f*ck they're talking about, when they don't have a clue, or the unrestrained hostility they have for people who actually know of what they speak.
[I just LOVE these Lose/Lose situations!]
Maybe we can get ct to create a filter that autmatically puts a clown suit on any diary that contains the strings Wayne Madsen and/or Jason Leopold. I think that would take care of the problem.
[Or a pile of cat stools on any such diary.]
This diary really pissed me off. I'm still very upset that no indictments of Rove have come down yet. I really hope this diary is wrong. At the same time -- what is going on??? There is no way you can convince me that Fitzgerald doesn't have enough to indict. Sure he has. WHY HASN'T IT HAPPENED??? I'm getting pissed at Fitzgerald at this point. If Rove walks away from this, I swear....
[....I'll never look at another cat stool again.]
This is bullshit. Shut your f*cking piehole about the psychiatrist stuff. Call the guy an asshole. Tell him he's delusional. Gang up on him with Armando, and anyone else who feels like piling on. But please shut up with all your comments about mental illness and psychiatrists.
[Support mental health or I'LL KILL YOU!!!]
As someone who has been diagnosed with chronic clinical depression who takes a daily maximum dose of Zoloft, I think I am perfectly entitled to tell someone else that they're crazy.
[It takes one to know one.]
Just let the process work, and kill the bullshit baseless specualting. Leave that to the pros such as Leoplold.
[Finally, Jason Leopold gets the proper respect for his body of work.]
Because of this insanity we are giving all the talking heads and Rightwing blogs ammunition to smack us down and call us foolish and conspiracy theorist.
[Hee! Hee!]
Pied Piper Pitt's future in politics now depends on a pile of cat stools.
There once was a fool named Pitt
Who was dumber than cat sh*t
He tried to be cool
And was foiled by stool
He will never recover from it
And you know this HOW? Let me see if I can follow your tortured reasoning:
"The fact that there were no indictments is proof that there WERE indictments but they were killed by this eeevil administration, which is what MUST have happened, BECAUSE this administration is so eeevil. And we KNOW this administration is so eeevil, because they killed these indictments, among other things. Thus I mourn this country and am scared stoolless."
By George W., I think I've got it!
My record DUFU blog page views on record was 805 last week and it is now almost halfway there so today might break that record. I don't think it is because of any great revelations in today's blogs but more because the stuff in the news, especially today's WaPo article, is causing folks to enter terms in the search engine in which the DUFU blog shows up early (now checking to see what pops up when I Google "cat stools").
Picky, picky. . . .
Since this Fitzmas story is now centering around cat stools, I can understand why TruthOut thought they had a "scoop."
You're right. And I just love those folks, they're the people who will keep the donkey party in the minority for a generation or more.
(Now bowing head and praying I'm right)
Rove "Scoop" Remains Exclusive
Robert Luskin, Karl Rove's lawyer, says he spent most of the day on May 12 taking his cat to the veterinarian and having a technician fix his computer at home.
He was stunned, therefore, when journalists started calling to ask about an online report that he had spent half the day at his law office, negotiating with Patrick Fitzgerald -- and that the special prosecutor had secretly obtained an indictment of Rove.
The cat's medical tests, Luskin says, found that "the stools were free of harmful parasites, which is more than I can say for this case."
< snip >
Luskin calls the reports "absolutely bizarre. I'm waiting for him to tell me whether Fitzgerald had the chicken or the pasta. . . . There was no meeting, no communication with Fitzgerald's team of any kind."
I spoke with our big male barn cat this morning and he said he buries his before anybody can find it for analysis. He reminded me that it was "none of my business" and that he would be billing me later in the week for a few business minutes.
Last time I saw him he was out looking for Miss Right.
On the contrary. Kurtz clearly indicates that Leopold is a flakeout case:
The claim that President Bush's top political strategist had been indicted in the CIA leak investigation was written by a journalist who has battled drug addiction and mental illness and been convicted of grand larceny. That didn't stop more than 35 reporters -- from all the major newspapers, networks and newsmagazines -- from calling Luskin or Rove's spokesman, Mark Corallo, to check it out...If there's any MSM agenda here, it's to diminish the credibility of bloggers generally, not to boost this moonbat story.
Leopold acknowledges in a new book, "News Junkie," that he is a past liar, convicted felon and former alcoholic and cocaine addict. An earlier version of the book was canceled by publisher Rowman & Littlefield last year.
Look, let's get our facts straight: Fitz did NOT announce that he had indicted Rove, which means that he DID, in fact, indict Rove. And the fact that he DID indict Rove meant that this administration would KILL the indictment, which they did, or otherwise you would have seen Rove being frogmarched down Pennsylvania Avenue.
The absence of the evidence, therefore, is proof that it happened.
This is the "hilarious" Seven Business Days in May Hoaxmas.
Is that you, Will Pitt?
Has Pitt shown himself in the DUmp lately?
But you won't actually DO any of this! Slacktivists like you live in the land of Wishin' and Hopin'.
One possible "exit strategy" for Wee Willie to get out of this mess is to throw Jason Leopold under the bus. But at this point, how well will that go over with the disillusioned DUmmie masses? Has the Pied Piper blown a false alarm one too many times?
We're probably both right. The MSM would love to see Karl Rove indicted. OTOH they also resent the incursion the blogosphere has made on their control over news.
Don't think for a minute this wouldn't have been front page had the MSM been able to unearth even a 'smidgen' of evidence this was true. But they haven't been able to do that, so it then provides them with an opportunity to trash the blogosphere. The one doesn't trump the other.
Hey! They have to get their licks in somehow; show who's boss here. If they can't through Fitzgerald/Rove, they will with the blogs.
Last time I saw him he was out looking for Miss Right.Her last name being Now.
-Eric
Again with the Club Meds stuff. What is it with these people? No wonder they're called the Loony Left.
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