Posted on 05/21/2006 7:02:19 PM PDT by Sunsong
I just finished Mary Cheney’s book Now It’s My Turn: A Daughter’s Chronicle of Political Life and recommend it as the most important book addressing a gay topic of the year, if not the past few years. Indeed, it is must-read book for anyone who wishes to talk honestly about the Bush Administration’s record on gay issues.
While I will not, at this time, write a complete review of the book, I expect this to be a continuation in a series of posts on the significance of the book — and what it reveals about the Vice President of the United States. I have already noted how it shows what a good man Dick Cheney is and how few gay leaders and activists are willing to acknowledge his positive record on gay issues.
Because he is our nation’s Vice President, widely respected in conservative circles, even by social conservatives who know about his relationship with his lesbian daughter, I wish to focus on what this book tells us about this good man and what its release shows about the narrow-mindedness of gay activists. Perhaps you will say that I have said this already. But, as the comments to my recent posts indicate, some of our critics don’t seem to be listening, so, in the words of André Gide, “it is ever necessary to start again.”
What emerges from reading Mary’s book is that the Vice President is an exemplar of how a parent should treat his gay child. When Mary first came out to her father, she writes, “the first words out of his mouth were exactly the ones I wanted to hear: ‘You’re my daughter and I love you and I just want you to be happy.’”
About fifteen years later, when then-Governor Bush, the Republican nominee for president in 2000, was considering Cheney as his running mate, the former Secretary of Defense talked with his daughter about what his selection might mean. Mary notes that he “was concerned that people would target me and my sexual orientation in an attempt to attack him. He wanted to make sure I understood exactly what this decision could mean.”
In order words, this man showed great sensitivity to how his career choice might affect his lesbian daughter’s life.
This is not the only example which shows the Vice President as an exemplary parent of a gay child. It’s clear as well from Mary’s narrative that Dick Cheney has welcomed Mary’s partner, Heather, into the family, treating her as he would a child’s different-sex spouse. Indeed, on Election Night 2004, Heather and Mary slept with him (though on different sofas and chairs) in his White House office.
Despite these stories of the Vice President’s relationship with his daughter, in their Washington Post column, Elizabeth Birch, former executive director of HRC and her partner Hilary Rosen, refuse to praise him directly for treating his child as we would want all parents to treat their gay children. Perhaps they didn’t even read Mary’s book.
Instead they focus on how her coming out might impact political battles. To be sure, I share their delight that “timing of the book’s release is a welcome boon to the effort to defeat (for the second time) the . . . Federal Marriage Amendment.” In their column, however, Birch and Rosen fail to reference the content of Mary’s book, a sign that they are unwilling to let Mary tell her story even as they applaud her “leap onto the national stage.“
So much have these two activists spent inside the Beltway that they remain focused on legislative (& judicial) solutions to the concerns of our community. They have apparently long since lost sight of the real goal. Perhaps were they to read Mary’s book and focus on the Vice President’s relationship with his daughter, they might discover it once again.
Reading this book would expose them to a side of the Vice President different from the one they are accustomed to hearing in the liberal circles in which they travel. They would see how much Mary loves her parents even though she occasionally disagrees with them on matters of policy. They would see how loving a father Dick Cheney is to his daughters and that Mary’s coming out did not cause him to love her any less.
As they read her story, they might realize once again that we all wish our parents would react as did Dick and Lynne Cheney. Not only that. They would see the impact of a child’s coming out on a parent’s attitudes toward gays. Mary’s coming out didn’t make Dick Cheney any less conservative, but it surely caused him to speak out in favor of tolerance for gay couples and in opposition to a constitutional amendment defining marriage.
Birch and Rosen (and their allies on the left) may be upset that Mary’s coming out didn’t cause Dick Cheney to switch parties. (Heck, her coming out didn’t cause her to become a Democrat either.) But, once they let go of their expectation that coming out makes one liberal, they might have the sense to praise this good man and his wife as exemplars of how parents should treat their gay children. And praise the Vice President as a model of political courage, willing to defy part of his political base to speak up for what is right.
Mary Cheney’s book shows what a good man her father is. And in describing their relationship, she helps us focus on (what should be) the real goals of the gay movement.
That we can live freely and openly as gay individuals in our families and in American society.
And yet, Birch and Rosen, like so many other gay leaders and activists commenting on Mary’s book, focus more on the political implications of Mary’s coming out than on the actual contents of her book. It’s too bad they prefer their own fictional narrative about the Vice President to his daughter’s own true story.
So, I suggest that before they criticize the Vice President, they read his daughter’s book. It confirmed to me that I’ve been right to look up to this man for as long as I’ve been involved in politics. They may not share his politics as do I, but they will at least come to respect him as a man and look up to him as the type of father we all wish we had. (And that some of us do have.)
I watched her interview on Fox last Sunday, and found her to be an extremely intelligent, articulate, and lovely woman.
She is her Daddy's best fan, and that is mostly what I like about her. Forget the sexual orientation; Mary Cheney is a very sincere person who deserves respect.
Hate the sin and love the sinner.
Do parents still shun their kids for having pre-marital sex and prevent them from bringing over their current sexual partner to family gatherings?
The current crop (baby boom onward) of leftists has openly declared themselves against "the establishment". Among those beefs was the institution of marriage (domesticity = slavery).
So if we seem skeptical of their "marriages for all", we have reasons to be suspicious.
That is so self-defeating isn't it. If they thought for 10 seconds they might realize that Mary Cheney and the whole Cheney family just might have something valuable to say - something that they could very well learn from.
She really loves her dad, doesn't she. I know what you mean about finding that so likeable about her.
Some of the things I've seen on TV show forums from lesbians about Mary are absolutely sickening. Then again, they also believe you can not be gay and be conservative.
Hopefully most parents truly love their kids and teach them to be self-respecting and responsible adults.
I've missed a lot of stuff on TV that I probably shouldn't regret(g). I find the hatred that comes from the left (or the hard right) very off putting. It's a shame that they can't find a way to rise above their hatred.
I saw her on some talk shows and as she spoke I forgot the fact that she was gay except for when she was asked about it. Otherwise, she seems pretty normal and down to earth.
One of the greatest gifts parents can give to their children is their unconditional love, as my mother and father gave to the five of us.
Mary Cheney is a very intelligent and articulate woman. Who cares what her sexual orientation is, except for people with an agenda to promote.
Nope, actully in my Generation, anyone who doesnt have PM sex are the ones considered different as opposed to those who do. Parents accept it as a part of life (in most cases)
*Keep in mind im from an Upscale part of NJ.
List. How special.
Thanks. That's nice to know. I heard her on Sean Hannity and she came across as intelligent, articulate and well-prepared for the questions.
What a nice sentiment. I wonder if she would just as soon that no one knew?
Social conservatives would expect nothing less than that a father love his daughter.
I hope you're right. I've read too many posts that don't reflect much love at all.
And his sensitivity proved prescient in that John Kerry and the democrats did indeed take a cheap shot at Cheney through his daughter.
Ah yes, the scummiest attack in an already filthy election cycle.
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