Ash nazg durbatulûk,
Ash nazg gimbatul,
Ash nazg thrakatulûk
agh burzum-ishi krimpatul
___________________________
One ring to rule them all,
One ring to find them,
One ring to bring them all
and in the darkness bind them
One plastic surgery a year, I swear!
"Pull it!"
"My eyes! They're stuck! Yaiii . . . my whole FACE is stuck!"
I think Pelosi has hypnotized herself again.
Ash nazg durbatulûk,
Ash nazg gimbatul,
Ash nazg thrakatulûk
agh burzum-ishi krimpatul
___________________________
One ring to rule them all,
One ring to find them,
One ring to bring them all
and in the darkness bind them
"The collagen goes in my neck here."
Want to see them disappear in my scalp?
"Can't you see I'm sleeping?!"
"I did not have sex with my husband. He's just my shoeshine boy."
"The meaning of "is" is that I'm clueless about protecting this Nation."
"I'm informing you right here and now that I'm stupid enough to think that Shrillery, Marx and Machiavelli are wonderful heros and role models for this Nation. Yes, the Dr dropped me on my head right after my birth."
"I did NOT spend any portion of Dillbo Klintoon's Chinese bribes for Treason."
"I really don't know how I got in this position. Probably the MSM helped me fool most of my constituents most of the time."
"Of course I'm no "lady! Billdo gave me his balls after Shrillery cut them off over the Dubai fiasco. Now I wonder what they are for, besides making more of an energetic fool of myself."
"I would have a constructive idea for our Nation but it's against my nonreligion to be positive."
"Of course I eat children--after Shrillery boils them in our pot!"
"So! I admit it. I learned about the culture of corruption from the masters--Billdo and Shrillery!"
Marty Feldman Eyes[to the tune of "Bette Davis Eyes"]
Her hair is gray and old
Her lips chapped and dry
Her hands are always cold
She's got Marty Feldman eyes
Her once good looks are gone
She'll no longer entice
A big mole on her nose
She's got Marty Feldman eyes
She'll unease you
She has fleas too
And she has Hodgkin's disease too
She's atrocious
Sometimes she forgets to make the toilet bowl flush
She's got Kirstie Alley big fat thighs
She's got Marty Feldman eyes
She's from a mental home
You know her mind's not right
Her hair she doesn't comb
She's got Marty Feldman eyes
She'll scream or mumble at you
Repeats everything twice
She's got a few loose screws
She's got Marty Feldman eyes
She's an old shrew
And she's been to
Other planets in a U.F.O. too
She's atrocious
And she knows just what it takes to make you go nuts
All the boys think she's a guy
She's got Marty Feldman eyes
She'll impede you
And deceive you
All the better just to leave you
She's atrocious
When she scrubs her back she'll use the toilet bowl brush
All the boys think she's a guy
She's got Marty Feldman eyes
"The skin on my face has been pulled so tight my eyes do this when I move this finger!"
One? I only got ONE lousy vote?