You and others have hit the common cord that I haven't been attentive enough to her desires. But some of the answers to your questions are that I know what her likes and dislikes are and I have discovered that they are not the same as my likes and dislikes.
How do people with such disimilar interests, stay interested in each other?
Faking it is not a good long term solution. IMHO
Nothing I listed is something she should have in common with you....it's just what makes her who she is. Do you really know her? Who she is? I mean, from what you've said, sounds like there are still a lot of secrets and unknowns.
If she has a need for demonstrative affection and affirmation, it still isn't about you. If you love someone and they love eggs for breakfast, yet you hate them...you still make them eggs. They still know you don't like them, but you get pleasure in making their eggs the way they want them.
Same goes for buying gifts, doing kind things, watching a sappy movie with her. It's a gift. And weirdly, you start to see why others enjoy such things.
Making someone else happy, showing them you care or seeing to their needs only makes you a better person. So it's a win-win for both.
Simple. Love is not a feeling, love is a verb followed by feelings. The action you take is being interested in the activities of the other person. If you were identical, one of you would be unnecessary.
My husband and I are very different. He is Mr. Command, take charge, get it done. Likes hunting, fishing, guns, older country music, mountains, cold weather, what you see is what you get, paper plates, plastic cups. I am quiet and reserved. I paint, write, sew, garden, cook, read, and like hot weather and the ocean; I am a "still waters", use the good china kind of person. Yet we have been married 31 years next week, and known each other 33 years. It CAN be done.