Why not?
Posted on 12/12/2005 5:02:44 PM PST by writer33
Washington—With the hearing date inching closer and closer, Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist said Sunday he is prepared to use his jackboots on Democrats should they try to filibuster and stall Samuel Alito’s nomination to the Supreme Court.
“The answer is you darn right,” Frist fired when asked if he would act to change Senate procedures to restrict a Democratic filibuster. “Supreme Court justice nominees deserve an up-or-down vote, and I just know they’re not even going to go down that road. I’ve got my jackboots ready. So bring it on the heat and I’ll stomp this out with impunity!”
In recent weeks, Senate Democrats have questioned whether Alito, a federal appeals court judge, has enough moderate in him to replay retiring justice O’Connor—a moderate’s moderate—claiming to serve at the best interest of mainstream America.
Several Democrats have noted that Alito’s warped views on issues such as voting rights and abortion could provoke a filibuster unless he calms their concerns about his commitment to civil rights. If he performs an abortion right there in the confirmation process, as suggested by Rush Limbaugh in the John Roberts hearings, he may just be confirmed by the U.S. Senate with an overwhelming vote, eliminating the possibility of the jackboot option.
Alito’s confirmation battle begins Jan. 9 in the Senate Judiciary Committee, as Democrats and spineless Republican senators dig up as much dirt as possible before the hearings commence. Each side is vowing to do whatever it takes to win the day, regardless of how much of the taxpayers’ time and money is used.
The filibuster is a parliamentary tactic whereby senators use their right to hijack the U.S. Constitution, the American people and their party to virtually unlimited debate to block measures, legislation or nominations. It takes 60 votes to stop a filibuster, and the blood is already in the water.
Passing a bill or confirming a nominee requires a simple majority—51 votes if all 100 senators are present. The vice president can break 50-50 ties, but this time, Frist has promised to use whatever amount of intimidation it takes to get Alito through.
“I’m tired of playing these reindeer games,” claimed Sen. Frist, R-TN. “I’m going to stomp a mud hole in the first Democrat that even thinks about filibustering. The nation is sick of this idiotic behavior. It’s time they got their act together. If some weak kneed Republicans want to join ‘em, just step forward, because I have a perfect place for my size twelve boot!”
“Santa paid me a visit early,” said Rep. Mike Pence, R-IN. “I’ve got my jackboots and sunglasses ready to go. I only wish I could join my fellow extremists in the U.S. Senate. This could be fun!”
“I can’t wait for the showdown,” stated Sen. Jon Kyl-R, AZ. “We’re going to show Democrats what happens when you stand on the tracks as a train comes through.”
“This is my kind of fight,” charged Sen. John Cornyn, R-TX. “Come time for hearings, I’m going to remember the Alamo!”
“I can’t believe they’ve already started with these partisan remarks,” cried Sen. Charles Schumer, D-NY. “It’s just like these extreme members of the senate to use these Nazi-like tactics.”
“If Sam Alito comes up there with a ‘better than you’ attitude, I’m going to put the fear of God in him,” stated Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-MA.
“These Republicans are scary,” wined Sen. Dick Durbin, D-IL. “They almost make me want to cry.”
“Oh, how I wish we could’ve got these hearings in before the Christmas break,” said Sen. Tom Coburn, R-OK. “We would’ve given the American people a Christmas present they would never forget.”
“As soon as I get through dispatching Ronnie Earle,” promised Tom DeLay, R-TX, “we’re going to open up a can of you know what in the U.S. Senate next year!”
Democrats have threatened to retaliate with everything in their arsenal, screwing up Senate business for months to vanquish the extremism running rampant. It could also backfire on Republicans if they were to lose majority control of the chamber.
Republicans, however, don’t seem to care. They note that they have grown tired of wasting the American people’s time. And if it takes using jackboots to stomp out these ridiculous filibusters, that’s just what they’re ready to do.
HA!
Jackboots for Justice Ping!
Jackboots for Justice Ping!
I wasn't sure if this were satire until the very last line.
I can hardly wait!
Why not?
Thanks for reading, t.
Frankly, anybody who encounters Ted Kennedy is entitled to a 'better than you' attitude.
Airborne!
Good stuff, xcamel. Thanks for the graphic.
*pondering for a moment*
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
*Gasping for breath*
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
Thanks for reading, Lakeshark. I appreciate it.
jackboot ping
[“These Republicans are scary,” wined Sen. Dick Durbin, D-IL. “They almost make me want to cry.”]
Cry baby, cry, make your mother sigh. You ought to know better, cry baby, cry.
As for me, I'm smiling at sen tricks whining.
Maybe the Pubs are growing some, and maybe they will finally realize that their success is doing the right thing, the conservative constitutional thing that will please the conservatives for a change.
Mike Pence has made the big time. He's in a satire by Chris.
me and mike pence, jackboots and sunglasses ; )
And Tom Coburn, this thread has got it all...
love me some jackboots, and the allstar cast listed in the piece : )
Where is my boot polish?
(Well done Chris)!
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