LOL!
Posted on 11/27/2005 7:52:44 AM PST by FerdieMurphy
Several of us decided to spend Thanksgiving in peaceful protest against military recruitment in schools. We chose to picket the local army recruitment center located several blocks from my house.
Our plan was to alternate between singing protest songs, lying around like we were dead, praying and chanting, exposing our breasts and genitals for peace, and harassing, appealing to those going in.
Thursday morning we got together in the parking lot in front of the center and put up some cool protest posters including a personally autographed one of Our Venerated Mother Of Perpetual Peace And Publicity Sheehan (OVMOPPAPS). In honor of the holiday, someone brought a small turkey, some dressing, fruit salad, delicious pumpkin pie, and several bottles of wine for us to enjoy while we worked.
After smoking a few doobies, we sang a rousing protest song just so the army guys would know we were there. One vicious looking baby killer soldier stared through the window at us in an especially menacing manner that seemed to say, "I would love to torture you by taking photographs of you all stacked naked on the floor." I flipped him off while displaying my breasts for peace. He quickly retreated from the window.
We ate, drank, sang protest songs, threw blood (actually a packet of McDonald's ketchup) on the front door and even managed to run off a young girl heading for the building. The part where we all lay around like we were dead was a big crowd-pleaser, although several of us picked up some pretty bad grease stains from the parking lot.
For the most part, things were going pretty good. Oh, that the rest of the day could have been so pleasant!
When the guy who had been giving us the hairy eyeballs came out to wipe the ketchup off the door, my friend Randy grabbed the closest thing he could lay hands on and threw it at him. The eight-pound Butterball caught GI Joe square in the face and sent his sunglasses flying down the sidewalk!
The only memory I have of the horrific events that followed is that of Randy screaming like a little girl as we rushed him to the nearest hospital emergency room. Once there, the ER technicians worked feverishly to save him. Thankfully, with the exception of one drumstick lodged sideways in his colon, they were able to remove most of the turkey. Surgery to retrieve the drumstick is scheduled for Monday and if it goes well, they say he should fully recover.
A weird side effect of this whole deal is that even two days later we still get the munchies every time he breaks wind.
How long will this administration be allowed to torture innocent civilians like Randy?
How long?
In Before the ZOT!
IBTZ
Pretty good satire.
Misfire...damn!
The sad thing is that I almost believed it for a second.
Ten years ago I never would have.
LMAO!
IBZ
If only recruiters could do this to raving moonbats in Real Life. . .
L
ROFLMAO
LOL!
How fitting... "moonbeam" = loony
It's a joke, guys. And a fairly funny one at that.
Owl_Eagle
"You know, I'm going to start thanking
the woman who cleans the restroom in
the building I work in. I'm going to start
thinking of her as a human being"-Hillary Clinton
(Yes, she really said that
Peggy Noonan
The Case Against Hillary Clinton, pg 55)
Never bring a liberal moonbat weenie to a turkey fight.
It's a wonder he didn't collapse on the spot.
Cute.
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL... You should have included the xray photo .....
NOTE: No "Progressives" were harmed in the making of this satire.
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